GAYER THAN CHRISTMAS

Snickering Grade Schooler Forces Music Teacher To De-Gay “Deck The Halls”

The Christmas carol “Deck the Halls” has a line which goes, “Don we now our gay apparel,” with the word “gay” meaning hardcore anal sex happy. But some sniggering choir student at Cherry Knoll Elementary School kept laughing every time they sang the word in class and instead of calmly explaining to the kids that “gay” means lots of things (like fierce, bootylicious and fa-la-la-la-fabulous), the teacher just changed the word “gay” to “bright” on the printed lyric sheet, effectively pissing off lots of gay and bright people in the process.

The principal has since put “gay” back into the song, allowing us to save our holiday outrage for the fellow shoppers and family members who so richly deserve it.