SHOTS FIRED

Texas Waitress Who “Doesn’t Serve Fags” Says Gays “Will Be Taken Care Of…We’re Ready For Them”

big-earl's-texas-gayThe East Texas restaurant owner proudly standing by his “right” to “not serve fags” is enjoying a surge of publicity this week, though it’s probably not the kind he ever imagined he’d get.

After his daughter provided table service to a gay couple earlier this week and informed them to never return because she “doesn’t serve fags” (even though she did, and then took their money), Big Earl is dealing with a massive influx of user reviews on Yelp hailing his restaurant, Big Earl’s, as “the greatest gay bar in Texas” and a “prime spot for a restroom beej.”

Because Yelp’s user agreement and site policy bar business owners from interfering with their businesses reviews, Big little Earl has been powerless to defend his restaurant’s online reputation. Go us!

Although many of the online reviews are sarcastic and obscene, a few inform potential eaters of the restaurant’s anti-gay policy. According to KLTV, a sign hanging in the front door reads “Here at Big Earl’s we like for men to act like men and for ladies to act like ladies, so we want you to never return.”

A local gay man named Kyle told CBS Dallas yesterday that many in the community are planning to frequent the restaurant to “embrace those people and to love them and hug them.” “I think the restaurant better learn to adapt or they will probably have to close their doors soon,” he said.

Christina Cheney, the pompous waitress who initially enforced the restaurant’s anti-gay policy, issued a threat to the LGBT community in the same interview. She’s heard of the big gay plan to infiltrate her restaurant, and she wants the community to know that “they will be taken care of appropriately” if they come near her.

“We are aware that they are attempting to come out here,” she said. “We’re ready for them; we have informed the Sheriff’s department and the state.”

Be warned, East Texas homosexuals. “The state” is aware of your intention to eat at Big Earl’s this weekend. If they come, please don’t let them shut down that legendary glory hole in the last stall.

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