It’s officially our favorite season: ✨AWARDS!✨
As per the calendar, the Golden Globes kicked off Hollywood’s busy season last night with a markedly different telecast from the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles.
It’s a new chapter for the traditionally boozy and oft unhinged awards show; after last year’s ceremony, its less-than-diverse voting body was dissolved and the show was taken over by Dick Clark Productions and Eldridge Industries.
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For the 81st ceremony, that meant expanding categories to six nominees, forming a more culturally expansive coalition of voters, and adding categories to recognize both stand-up comedians and blockbuster films.
How did that work out for them?
Well, host and comic Jo Koy may not have been a highlight, but that didn’t stop our favorite A-listers from showing out and having a good time. Especially Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner.
While the evening was low on LGBTQ+ wins, there was no short supply of gags, gay moments, history-making speeches, and more.
You can find a full list of winners on the Golden Globe’s website. But right now, we’re breaking down the biggest (and gayest) moments of the night:
Jacob Elordi’s bath water makes a red carpet appearance
If you thought we’d make it through a single award show without mentioning that scene in Saltburn, you were wrong. Although Aussie heartthrob Jacob Elordi wasn’t in attendance, his bath water candle showed up to the red carpet. And naturally, Rosamund Pike, America Ferrera, and Margot Robbie couldn’t help but take a sniff.
Andrew Scott and Jonathan Bailey gave us our new phone background
OK, maybe the gays did win something! While All Of Us Strangers star Andrew Scott was beat by Oppenheimer‘s Cillian Murphy for best dramatic lead actor –– and Jonathan Bailey was snubbed completely for Fellow Travelers –– the two men looked handsome as ever. In fact, a photographer even captured this cute moment between the actors, who were twinning in all-white ensembles. When’s the rom-com?!
Taylor Swift shoots daggers at the host
Hosting an awards show –– especially one as highly watched and besieged by controversy as the Globes –– is not easy. That being said, it’s hard to imagine the evening going any worse for Koy. The star studded crowd quickly turned against the comedian during his opening monologue, where he referenced Barry Keoghan’s nether regions, asked Meryl Streep to do “Wakanda Forever,” and referenced Barbie’s “big boobs.” Still, his worst affront was a dig at Taylor Swift, whose Eras Tour film lost out to Barbie for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement.
Referencing Tay’s attendance at boyfriend Travis Kelce’s little sports games, Koy joked: “The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL? At the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.” The singer’s unimpressed expression seemed to echo what everyone else was thinking.
J. Law’s meme-worthy moment
Resident Real Housewives stan (and three-time Golden Globe winner) Jennifer Lawrence remains relatable as hell. While the nominees for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy were read aloud, Lawrence jokingly lipped to the camera, “If I don’t win, I’m leaving.” Although the award went to Emma Stone, the No Hard Feelings actress won the night with this viral moment.
Billie Eilish reminds us what she’s made for
Unsurprisingly, “What Was I Made For” –– Billie Eilish‘s poignant contribution to the Barbie soundtrack –– scored Best Original Song. The recently-out singer sported a Annie Lennox-esque lewk to accept the award, explaining what the tender track means to her. “[When] we were shown the movie, I was very, very miserable and depressed at the time,” the 22-year-old said. “And writing [this] song kind of saved me a little bit.” (To be fair, the ballad made us bawl like a baby during the film.)
Kieran Culkin tells Pedro Pascal to “suck it”
Anyone else suddenly nostalgic for HBO’s Succession Sundays? The satirical dramedy’s final season won big at the Globes, taking home four awards. Still, the best speech came from the hilarious Kieran Culkin, who channeled his inner Roman Roy when he told fellow nominee Pedro Pascal to “suck it.”
Of course, The Last of Us star handled it with grace –– and an adorable fake pout. Whew!
Ayo Edebiri thanks her fam –– and the assistants
Bottoms star Ayo Edebiri gave us perhaps the most authentic and effusive moment of the night after winning best actress in a TV comedy for The Bear. Edebiri thanked both her work fam and “real family,” but most importantly “all of my agents and managers’ assistants.” As she explained, “The people who answer my emails, y’all are real ones. Thank you for answering my crazy, crazy emails.”
We can’t wait to watch her star continue to rise –– just don’t ask her about co-star Jeremy Allen White’s new Calvin Klein campaign.
Andrew Scott adorably busts a move
Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell had the funniest bit of the night as they were overtaken by an infectious ditty whilst trying to present an award. However, no one seemed to enjoy the moment as much as Scott, who couldn’t help but dance along. (The best part? He was seated alongside Colman Domingo, Pascal, and Bella Ramsey at what appeared to be the Globes’ unofficial GSA table.)
Poor Things‘ dude-on-dude kiss
Ramy Youssef and Mark Ruffalo smooched in celebration of Poor Things‘ win for Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy… and we’ve never hit the “instant-replay” button on our TV remotes faster.
Lily Gladstone wins Best Actress in a Drama
Finally, Killers of the Flower Moon‘s breakout star Lily Gladstone (who is two-spirit and uses she/they pronouns) made history as the first-ever Indigenous person to win a Globe. Fittingly, she dedicated her win to the community, explaining, “This is for every little rez kid, every little urban kid, every little Native kid out there who has a dream and is seeing themselves represented in our stories told by ourselves, in our own words.” Let the Oscar campaign begin!
Jim
Taylor is full of herself.
It was a simple joke and she should have at least that.
Taylor the world isn’t full of Swiffties.
Fenwick22
This could be the stock answer for anything Swift related. Well done.
SDR94103
sit down and shhh. Nobody cares what you think, Mary.
jsmu
No, you little trollette WANNABE, you’re full of YOURself and the asswipe ‘host’ was the worst in living memory. His cheap shots and punching down are neither funny nor acceptable–nor are you.
SIgned, a non-Swiftie who hates dickheads like you.
jsmu
@Fenwick22 Are you always this asinine, or were you trying extra hard today?
SteveA
Sorry, but the world IS full of Swifties!
xanadude
Knowing how she works, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole joke was setup by her team in the first place. That said, at least she didn’t get up and slap anybody!
Jim
Anyone in the know, know that the assistants are the ones that get things done.
Ya go to their boss to stroke your ego but to the assistant to get results.
jp47
This absolutely! I am a retired paralegal. Attorneys get the big bucks and all the glory, but 90% of what happens in a law office was/is done by paralegals.
Diplomat
The boring dud of a milk toast host flopped the show in the first 5 seconds he opened his mouth. Swift was just mirroring the frosty vibe the rest of the room was experiencing.
Thx to all that is for ff.
Loved Billie she’s so hot and her bro also. My big hit was seeing the mains from the Suits cast on stage together. Loved that show 2 bits.
PoetDaddy
Congratulations to Dick Clark Productions for transforming the Golden Globes into the dullest televised awards show in history. The host was pathetic, and the presenters’ patter was even worse. The Golden Globes have been many things over the years, but at least it used to be fun.
Pietro D
Why/How the hell did the GLOBES pick such a loser, Koy as the host of the revamped Globes Awards? PoetDaddy, Dick Clark Productions did not transform the Globes into the dullest, televised show in history – Almost all Award Shows are dull as dishwater so don’t go picking on this as the worst. As for Taylor Swift, aside Koy’s “stupid” comment, the b**** should lighten up and be thankful that she has become a world phenomenon due to the love of her fans. If she’s talented, I don’t know because I can’t stand HER or Her music. Enough said!
Joshooeerr
Word is that at least five reasonably big names turned down the gig before the producers got desperate and booked him a mere 10 days ago. The Globes used to be a B-grade event; now it’s more like a D-grade event, with toxic overtones. And they still seem to be in free-fall, judging by some of the wins that were clearly “look at us being diverse” choices.
missuniverse
Taylor Swift is use to winning all the awards. NOT THIS YEAR !
She can”t take a Joke. which says a lot about her true personality
nm4047
does anyone actually watch this stuff?
Baron Wiseman
@nm4047
Not any more. Some of the awards shows were almost like a religious experience for me. Like much of the country, no longer.
I did watch the opening monologue as I heard how bad it was. (On the West coast, the show airs twice, back to back.)
I will say in Jo Koy’s defense – I’ve never seen him in person, but have watched several clips of his stand-up online and found him to be very funny. I’m not sure what happened last night. 🙁
jsmu
@Baron WIseman There’s nothing to be said in his ‘defense.’ He’s a talentless dickwad hack who thinks punching down is funny.
Baron Wiseman
@jsmu
You seem like a lot of fun.
Kangol2
As awful as Jo Koy was, viewership was up 50% from last year and it ended almost right on time, so the show’s producers did something right.
Baron Wiseman
Yes, total viewership was up 50% from last year’s all-time low which had also taken a 62% fall the previous year. The key adults 18-49 demographic was down from the previous year.
Perhaps when Hollywood produces a product that people like and enjoy, people will tune in. (Just a thought)
JTinToronto
Bring back Ricky Gervais as host. Tell Taylor Swift to learn how to take a joke. And oh, poor Billie Anguish, she’s so depressed. Go for a ride on one of your horses at your million dollar horse ranch that you bought with the money from all the other depressed misunderstood frumps who are buying your shtick.
Wheelerman
The Golden Globes deleted the category of best supporting actor & actress in a limited series. Yet they put in categories best stand-up and biggest blockbuster. Jonathan Bailey was originally on the supporting actor list for Fellow Travelers until it got snatched away. It really was a yawn of a show. I cannot stand Will Ferrel, and his dance dragged on and on.
SoPluckyWhat
Darn, I missed out?