haters in the house

The GOP finally elected a new Speaker of the House & he’s already an unmitigated disaster

Mike Johnson

If you didn’t think it was possible for House Republicans to become more odious, think again! After three embarrassing weeks of inner-party chaos, the GOP finally elected their next speaker Wednesday.

Meet Mike Johnson, an extreme far-right, anti-abortion representative from Louisiana who doesn’t just want to stop at banning same-sex marriage.

He wants to criminalize gay sex altogether!

That’s right: the Speaker of the House is pro-sodomy laws. It looks like the GOP is taking us allllll the way back to the early 20th century.

Yippee!

Johnson’s homophobia is no joke. In newspaper editorials, the 51-year-old has called homosexuality an “inherently unnatural” and “dangerous lifestyle” that would lead to legalized pedophilia and possibly even destroy “the entire democratic system.”

In another, he railed against anti-discrimination laws, saying “we don’t give special protections for every person’s bizarre choices.”

Hmm…does he mean “bizarre choices” like entering a convenant marriage? A hardcore evangelical Christian, Johnson and his wife can only get divorced on a small set of grounds, such as adultery, if one partner commits a felony or faces imprisonment, or physical or sexual abuse.

Personal freedom, baby!

Unsurprisingly, Johnson has also championed a national version of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” legislation. He says the “Democrat Party and their cultural allies are on a misguided crusade to immerse young children in sexual imagery and radical gender ideology.”

Back in the mid-2000s, he argued that gay marriage “is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic.”

While same-sex marriage hasn’t done that, Johnson’s ascension to Speaker just might! The hard right-winger was a key player in Donald Trump‘s attempts to subvert the 2020 election, leading an amicus brief seeking to overturn the results in four key swing states.

He also wanted to charge Nancy Pelosi with a felony for ripping up Trump’s State of the Union speech.

And ya’ll thought Jim Jordan was the worst choice imaginable? Hah!

House Democrats made their fervent opposition to Johnson clear on Wednesday. The most powerful display of resistance came from lesbian Rep. Angie Craig (D-MN), who shouted out her wife when she voted for Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries.

For a split second, it looked like Republicans were set to nominate one of their few remaining sane members, Rep. Tom Emmer, to the Speaker position. But his bid was torpedoed over his vote last year to codify same-sex marriage into law.

Emmer, who wants to ban trans athletes from competing in school sports, is far from an LGBTQ+ activist. But he doesn’t want to legislate LGBTQ+ folx out of existence; and thus, apparently isn’t conservative enough.

When Johnson emerged as the Republicans’ nominee Tuesday night, his grotesquely anti-gay colleagues were defiant.

For those wondering, the older woman yelling “shut up!” is North Carolina Rep. Virginia Foxx, who’s Chairwoman of the Education Committee.

Our kids are doomed, just like Congress!

The one saving grace is that Republicans only have a four-vote majority, meaning there may still be juuust enough guardrails to keep Johnson from trying to enact his full theocratic agenda.

Or at least, we’re praying that’s the case.

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