Last week, things got heated on Queerty about “slut-shaming” and so-called “stereotypically gay” swimwear — whatever that is — a debate sparked by a sexy photo noted singer Steve Grand posted of himself in a minimal speedo. A consensus emerged that Steve looked great.
Questions were raised about what constitutes appropriate swimwear for what occasion. From a gay day at the beach or by the pool to, well, wherever else you might wear a swimsuit, here’s a little bathing suit etiquette guide to help you undress to impress.
As we enjoy the height of beach season, check out our guide to proper swimsuit etiquette…
Family BBQ
Sure a board short may be more family-friendly, but sometimes you gotta show the kids what a great pair of pins look like — just avoid drawstrings at the hip. As a general rule.
Pool Party
There’s really no place or time when an asymmetrical man-thong is appropriate. That’s a fact.
Camping
Whether a bear in the forest or a twink pitching a tent, an assless singlet isn’t the best way to heed the call of the wild.
Leopard Print
Speaking of the wild, a leopard print is pussy galor-ious, but there’s no glory in a Borat mankini.
Zebra Print
What’s black and white and read to filth all over?
Beach Wedding
Tempting as a built-in bowtie may be, don’t. Just…don’t.
Working Out at the Beach
Speedos were meant for action, but a jockstrap that’s seen better days ain’t gonna help your fitness game.
Showing Your Pride
Someday you may find the rainbow connection, but I dare you to find anything resembling fabric on homeboy on the right.
A Chic Evening Beach Party
Formal on the top/nothing on the bottom is always in style, but no fashionista in the world could pull off this avant garde slingshot. Or pull it on, either.
The White Party
Old-timey bathing suits are the best and can be worn anywhere, but when it comes to the White Party, less is more. Though it’s probably best to avoid anything that can be used as floss in a pinch.
But hey, if you got it — or even if you don’t got it — flaunt it.
Sowhat, whocares?
Les Fabian Brathwaite — let me see that man-th-thong-thong-thong.
Jerie Ragsac
Bo-RAT!! å?§
James Moya
Queerty, Your guide is proof that you live to bodyshame, slut shame, age shame and pander to false male idoltry of an adonis male bodytype standard for the gay community. Also, the heavy set man with the checkmark has his chest manscaped to look like a bakini top. I’m curios as to how you feel that is appropriate but not the butt cleavage swimwear.
Ty Halen
Does this really need discussion?
Captain proton
I’ve tried one of those asymmetrical man-thongs once
and I quickly came to the following conclusions:
1. they are meant for growers, not showers.
2. you’d best spray yourself with something numbing
because even the slightest boner forming will just
pop the thing right off.
Brian Johnson-Frazier
Some of those were intended for bedroom use only. And Steve Grand is still a slut and I’m still going to slut shame lol
Glücklich
@James Moya:
Oh my god. Waaaah waaah waaaah!
Will Moor
@James Moya: …I think it just means that they used available underwear model pics… You are WAAAAY overthinking this.
Glücklich
@Will Moor:
Some people live to look for things to offend them or others or make them feel put upon. I live in San Francisco. It’s a whooooole industry out my way.
jwtraveler
@James Moya: You’re taking this MUCH too seriously.
jwtraveler
My own personal opinion is that the most unappealing aspect of the men in these photos is the shaved pubes.
Craig Shapiro
Some of those suits are odd, to say the least. The answer to this query is plain and simple, just wear sunscreen. Tada!
Joey Torrealba
I believe their is nothing wrong with the swimsuits. I know I can rock one if I really wanted to. They are over exaggerating on them they are really not that bad .
Amin N O'carroll
Ricardo Araujo
MarionPaige
Queerty was mentioned as the site “harassing” Steve Grand with his old swimsuit photos in Grand’s interview with BillBoard magaziine
TinoTurner
I’m a regular gay guy, I take care of my appearance and look good in a bathing suit….that being said, there is NOTHING sexy about a homo is “sexy” bathing suits. I’m attracted to men and masculinity and theres NO WAY a man can look masculine with those tiny bikinis on flaunting their little nub for everyone to see. I was in Asbury Park last week and saw a group of queens with the nastiest, tiny bathing suits ever….and it wasn’t sexy, it was sad. They clearly have no self esteem and feel the need to be validated by showing off their junk. No thanks.
Lvng1Tor
@TinoTurner: luckily we don’t all live to make sure sure we are your type of man. sooooo…….unlike anonymous trolls on Qrty telling people how to live and judging their psychological state…we are going to go on living our lives and not thinking about whether or not we are pleasing your narrow minded a@@!
TinoTurner
@Lvng1Tor: Ohhh…so you’re one of those, huh?
Lvng1Tor
@TinoTurner: uuummnnn…..sure why not!
Our Bodies, Our Confidence: For gay men.
#abprivilege :-/
Bob LaBlah
I won’t say only for COMPLETE bottoms because anyone can top if the mood calls for it but the majority of what is featured is for the exhibitionist who HAS to show their ass/abs workouts paid off.
SteveDenver
I can’t recall seeing guys who are built and HUNG like swimwear models wearing “revealing contraptions.” Those always seem found on swaybacked hairdressers with $200 sunglasses and a Paris Hilton pout.
Glücklich
@Bob LaBlah:
Well, yeah. My trunks are the short square-cut type like the rainbow pair shown. I work too hard at the gym – and in the pool – to wear a burqa.
@SteveDenver:
Sounds about right. I have yet to see one of those ‘contraptions’ anywhere, thank god. Even if I had and the wearer looked like a Greek god carved from marble, there’s nothing sexy about being a totally tasteless moron.
Mercurical Memo
I guess I’m the odd man out, I think some of those are hawt! Provided the right body of course. I was all defending Steve Grand until he got imbecilic and decided to tell everyone to stop staring at him in his provocativeness. It’s like being a chick that works at Hooters and tells the clients to stop checking out her rack. But back to the story at hand: I WISH more
Men would wear these. As opposed to those really unsexy board shorts that leave that stupid tan line at the knee. Ew.
Will Moor
@Mercurical Memo: I am glad that we have become more mainstream than we once were, but this kind of acceptance seems to come at a cost. Where this community used to celebrate unique and sexy displays like the ones in the above pics, now we seem to be acting more and more like prissy, prudish, judgmental straight people. Just the other day a really hot undies add was posted by Queerty and gay men, GAY MEN mind you, bitched about having to see well hung buff guys in skimpy underwear designed to show off their goods. There was a time when we NEVER got to see our own eye candy because it was all female T and A for the straight boys. Now that we get it, we actually bitch about it. It seems we are losing some of our flare and uniqueness. Its kinda sad, but I guess we have to sacrifice something for equality and acceptance.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
You swim?! I run, swim, bike, and do yoga. I was a competitive swimmer and lacrosse player from kid through college. I’m still nursing old lacrosse injuries – swimming and yoga help with healing. I like the softer muscles swimmers have and the physique developed through swimming.
Sheldon Siegel
I’m confused. Where are the inappropriate ones? Lol
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
I love to swim. I don’t do it as a swim-x-miles-a-day thing but usually as a post-workout cool down, and swim until I just can’t anymore. The other thing I do is swim to exhaustion as close to departing on a long flight as I can schedule it and as near to landing after a long flight as I can schedule it.
Grew up far from rich but we had a backyard pool so I’ve always swam.
TheAngryFag
@James Moya:
In spite of the trolls, you are correct in your comment.
Cagnazzo82
Lol, apparently we’ve gone from Mankini to a slingkini?
At some point they should just produce a sock as swim trunks and call it a day.
Maybe they’ll call it a junk glove 😉
Rudy Labsilica
Those zebra print swim trunks- WANT!
Will Moor
@TheAngryFag: despite the “trolls”? You definitely don’t understand the concept of what an internet troll is. You and James Moya are actually the ones trolling this article with your negative comments.
martinbakman
Colton Haynes might look fetching in the straw hat and horizontal stripes outfit.
Mkiel
@Lvng1Tor: well said jealousy rears it’s ugly head again
takingliberties
@James Moya: My goodness, you really do have your panties in a bunch. Calm down, boo!
musclemutt
@James Moya: To the rest of us, all those labels like Adonis worship and slut shaming are just signifying: They seem intelligible but have truth only for you. Oh, and anybody else who took seriously the memo from The Gang of Nine on correct political thought for bringing down bourgeois running-dog impediments to the glorious people’s revolution. [See how ridiculous ideological dogma sounds?]
Who you think are sluts, what you shame, and how you pander are simply different targets for different tastes.