Life Is Grand

The Queerty Guide To Wholly Inappropriate Swimsuits


Last week, things got heated on Queerty about “slut-shaming” and so-called “stereotypically gay” swimwear — whatever that is — a debate sparked by a sexy photo noted singer Steve Grand posted of himself in a minimal speedo. A consensus emerged that Steve looked great.

Questions were raised about what constitutes appropriate swimwear for what occasion. From a gay day at the beach or by the pool to, well, wherever else you might wear a swimsuit, here’s a little bathing suit etiquette guide to help you undress to impress.

As we enjoy the height of beach season, check out our guide to proper swimsuit etiquette…

Family BBQ


Sure a board short may be more family-friendly, but sometimes you gotta show the kids what a great pair of pins look like — just avoid drawstrings at the hip. As a general rule.

Pool Party


There’s really no place or time when an asymmetrical man-thong is appropriate. That’s a fact.



Whether a bear in the forest or a twink pitching a tent, an assless singlet isn’t the best way to heed the call of the wild.

Leopard Print


Speaking of the wild, a leopard print is pussy galor-ious, but there’s no glory in a Borat mankini.

Zebra Print 

zebra-printWhat’s black and white and read to filth all over?

Beach Wedding

beach wedding copyTempting as a built-in bowtie may be, don’t. Just…don’t.

Working Out at the Beach

athletic copySpeedos were meant for action, but a jockstrap that’s seen better days ain’t gonna help your fitness game.

Showing Your Pride

rainbow connectionSomeday you may find the rainbow connection, but I dare you to find anything resembling fabric on homeboy on the right.

A Chic Evening Beach Party

fashion pool partyFormal on the top/nothing on the bottom is always in style, but no fashionista in the world could pull off this avant garde slingshot. Or pull it on, either.

The White Party

white partyOld-timey bathing suits are the best and can be worn anywhere, but when it comes to the White Party, less is more. Though it’s probably best to avoid anything that can be used as floss in a pinch.10x-Hot-New-Mens-Sexy-G-strings-Gay-Lingerie-Male-One-Piece-font-b-Thongs-bBut hey, if you got it — or even if you don’t got it — flaunt it.

Sowhat, whocares?

Les Fabian Brathwaite — let me see that man-th-thong-thong-thong.