LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Things Ever Said About Gay Sex By Conservatives

 

“You know, in the instruction manual, it said, now plug this into a 120 [volt] outlet. Suppose I said, ‘Oh, I’m not going to follow those instructions, those are antiquated instructions. I’m going to plug it into a 220 [volt] outlet. It’s my TV and I can do whatever I want to with it, but I’m going to blow that TV to smithereens if I put it in a 220 outlet! The manufacturer made it; he knows how it operates best. The Bible is God’s instruction manual for us.”  — Robert Jeffress

 

What Dumb Conservatives Will Hear: Gay sex will make you explode.

The Reality: In a recent interview with Trinity Broadcasting Network, Texas Pastor and prominent LGBT headache Robert Jeffress attempted to explain what he considers God’s manual for sex.  According to the pastor, a penis is like an electrical plug and a vagina is the only fitting socket; and if you go around sticking your plug in other outlets, well, you know, you might just blow up.  While we can all agree the Jeffress’ botched metaphor is a complete sham, I am starting to wonder if I should hire an electrician next time I get into bed with someone, just to be safe.