SEE NO HOMOS

Uganadan Bishop Says Anti-Gay Law Not Urgent Because Uganda Has No Gays

An Anglican Bishop in Uganda has spoken out against the country’s proposed anti-homosexuality bill.

Not because he thinks it’s immoral, but because there aren’t any gay people in his country.

Bishop Godfrey Makumbi of the West Buganda Diocese of the Church of Uganda says he doesn’t “condone” homosexuality, but that the recently postposned measure is taking up too much time: “Sincerely it is overshadowing other problems,” Makumbi said, according to the Ugandan Observer “Our prime problems are on everyone’s fingertips; corruption, dishonesty, impudence and impunity, human sacrifice, poor service delivery and absolute poverty.”

Well, at least Makumbi gets to the right result, even if he doesn’t take a stand for tolerance.

But we’re not really down with his next assumption: “Realistically this is not in our culture, because our African sexual values are completely heterosexual, I personally have never seen people fancying [homosexuality] here, except in Europe,” he said.

Wow, Makumbi and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should hold a no-homo party.

But if Bishop Makumbi doubts there are gays in Uganda, he can ring up David Kato, the LGBT activist who successfully sued a Ugandan tabloid for outing him and printing his address.

Oh wait, he can’t—David was brutally murdered earlier this year.

UPDATE: It turns out the offices of the LGBT equality group Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) were just ransacked and their computers and office equipment stolen. Hmm, can you rob people that don’t exist?