There’s a TV show in Australia called You Can’t Ask That. Broadcast on ABC, the aim of the show is to offer insight into the lives of marginalized communities and break down stereotypes while answering the questions people are afraid to ask.
This week, it featured a bunch of gay men answering questions.
As one would expect on such a show, many of the questions played on stereotypical tropes and were shot down by those answering them.
One of the questions was, “Have you ever turned a straight guy?”
Some of those answering said they “hated” the question, and we can appreciate why. It sort of plays into the idea of gay men as predators who are out to seduce others.
Some said they didn’t like to have sex with anyone who identified as straight.
Others said they had often encountered men who identified as “straight” in sex clubs and bathhouses.
“They’re very scared, so like when you’re in the cubicle, they’re like really hiding behind the door when you come in,” said Theo from Melbourne. “I’m like ‘bitch, let me come in! I can’t even open.’ They’re just so terrified someone’s going to see them.”
Another says he’s had experiences with “straight guys”, but doesn’t believe he’s “turned” anyone: “I think they’ve always wanted to.”
Some claim gay men are better at giving blow jobs.
Another recounts how a man started shedding tears after they had sex because he was so happy to have finally done it with another guy. The storyteller says it was a little awkward because his newly-out partner was still inside him when he started crying.
Watch the memories below.
Related: Straight men share “gay” things they enjoy doing and you almost feel sorry for them
Other questions submitted by curious viewers included, “Were you a fruity kid?”
Half of those questioned, especially the younger ones, said they were.
‘I was looking for my Spice Girls posters and my father took me into my room and said this was not meant for boys,’ Theo from Melbourne said.
‘I don’t if I really had a label I just thought I was weirdo,’ another man, Api said.
Another question asked if they were ever called “faggot” at school, and most said they had heard the word at one time or another, and it impacted them.
”I know there a lot of people out there that have reclaimed that word but that still hits me really hard,” said Theo.
“There used to be this chat room (in school) and the main topic in there one day was ‘Is Theo a faggot?”
“The next day at school was really hard,” he said, getting emotional at the memory.
Related: Ross Mathews has perfect response to critic of his “fake”, “gay voice”
Another question asked whether they had a “gay voice” and if they ever changed it.
Theo said it was something he’d come to embrace.
“I used to go through life thinking that was my problem. I really believed I had to tone it down. Dress straight. Be a really f**king boring straight person,” he said.
The episode seemed to go down well with viewers.
Powerful episode of @ABCTV‘s #YouCantAskThat tonight, as a diverse group of men discuss being gay. Superb. 🏳️🌈 pic.twitter.com/x9haRl6BKW
— Peter Murphy (@PeterWMurphy1) June 8, 2022
Thanks to all the gay men on #youcantaskthat for sharing 🤗 You are all beautiful people and I wish you all happiness 🥰
— Kermie 🥳🥂🍾 (@Nettythe1st) June 8, 2022
I’m so here for #YouCantAskThat on @ABCTV – loved all of the men on the episode tonight 👏🏼👏🏽💯
— Genevieve Dingle 💉💉💉 (@Genevieve132) June 8, 2022
Hearing the number of these guys who had to deal with hearing the f-slur is so disappointing. I really hope this has reduced with every generation. #YouCantAskThat
— Isobel Ardent (@isobelardent) June 8, 2022
Loved tonights #youcantaskthat It’s so true – when you find your tribe your home. When I don’t see my gay friends for a while it’s tough, but when we meet for lunch, it settles me
— Edwin Pascoe (@edjpedjp) June 8, 2022
Thank you @ABCTV – #YouCantAskThat upfront and out there as always. More of it ! 👍🏽👍🏽
— iDrew (@Narunggaman) June 8, 2022
If you’re in Australia, you can still catch the episode on ABC’s streaming service (sadly it’s not available outside of the country).
Donston
Most unabashedly “queer” guys have hooked up with at least one “straight presenting” dude. It is so common that it’s officially become a boring topic. There are still many closeted or “straight presenting” dudes in the queer spectrum. “Experimenting” is still a thing. Everyone has their own sexualities. Many people experience degrees and types of fluidity or paraphiliacs or hyper-sensitive sexuality. While the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum is wide and varied. But of course, everything has to be turned into fantasy or sensationalism.
james7
I mainly have sex with straight guys who I meet on line. Mostly they are just looking for a sexual adventure they can’t get at home. And they are always so grateful, apparently they aren’t used to good sex.
Donston
This is the type of post that does semi irritate. A guy isn’t online looking to hook up with a guy simply because his wife/girlfriend won’t put out. That’s not a thing. And it will never be a thing. Experimenting is one thing. Actively looking for a certain type of person means that person is in your orientation spectrum. It’s okay to admit that some guys are closeted or are on the DL. It’s okay to admit that fluidity or contradictions or paraphiliacs or hyper-sexuality are things. It’s okay to admit that sexuality is wide and varied as hell. It’s okay to admit that the gender, sexual, affection, romantic attachment, emotional investment, relationship contentment, commitment spectrum is expansive. We don’t have to filter everything through fantasy or filter everything through “straightness” or hetero-normalcy or identities. But I guess since identity and sexual politics and gay panic and male insecurities are still so dominant it’s not gonna stop.
monty clift
@Donston, It makes you “irate” because you can’t control other people’s sexuality?
Heywood Jablowme
“A guy isn’t online looking to hook up with a guy simply because his wife/girlfriend won’t put out. That’s not a thing. And it will never be a thing.”
Let’s define “hook up.” A lot of (mainly) straight men occasionally look for a gay man who’s experienced at oral sex – an act that a great many women still won’t do at all, or with extreme reluctance (and it’s still routinely joked about on TV sitcoms as merely a birthday thing!). Also, a gay guy is far less likely to cause trouble re: the wife/gf than another woman would be. The gay guy might fetishize the situation but that’s not necessarily what’s going on.
johncp56
I can not count the Bi str8 married guys i hooked up with, turning someone that’s a fairytail
MrMichaelJ
How so? More than a couple of guys have realized they weren’t actually straight after encountering me
MrMichaelJ
It’s a lot easier turning a straight guy on when you’re a top
BigE
In University I had a reputation for being polyamorous and sexually adventurous, although those weren’t the words used at the time. Occasionally, at a gay dance, party, or bar, some queens straight female best friend would hit on me and if I wasn’t otherwise engaged, I would accept. My penis in these situations tended be less than cooperative, unless my mouth was occupied. One of my lady friends wanted something on a more regular basis, so we spent a summer hooking up once a week. At the end of the summer I moved to a different city. A year later, we touched base and she had some news. She came out as lesbian! I have always wondered if showing her the pleasure of non-penetrative sex contributed to moving her along the spectrum.
RyanMBecker
It’s a terrific show. They’ve had other LGBT episodes before, e.g. lesbians, transsexuals, S/M community, children of gay parents (my favorite), etc. Always diverse (in age and race) and insightful. I uploaded an episode to YouTube once but it got deleted immediately for copyright infringement. Now they’re on my private site.
I’ll try to put a link here but Queerty doesn’t allow links.
RyanMBecker
Despite all the laughing, there are at least two emotional moments involving the two twinks. The blond in the tanktop described growing up lonely in a small town. And the kid with the ponytail gasped when the older man described what it was like in his era. It was a genuine gasp of shock.