A Reddit post has gone viral and highlighted some ridiculous, outdated notions of masculinity.
Reddit user @possibly_degenerate asked: What are the things every man should at least try even though they are stigmatized as “gay” or “unmanly”?
Straight people immediately began to offer their suggestions. At the time of writing, the post has had 63k upticks and over 11k comments.
“Over the age of 30 or so, having friends and doing things with them,” offered one user. “Most people I know, if they have friends at all, they’re either work buddies or family get-togethers. But a couple of guys being friends and leaving the wives to go on a camping trip, etc. just seems weird. I miss having friends.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
That answer, one of the most-liked, provoked many comments. Some wives confirmed their husbands always benefited from going on camping trips with friends, and others expressed shock that this should be seen as “unmanly”.
Related: Father and son go viral dancing to ‘Frozen’: “This is what healthy masculinity looks like”
Several men said they enjoyed taking care of their skin and moisturizing. It proved a popular discussion thread.
“Yo since quarantine I’ve been: Doing face masks, Using a tinted sunscreen, Using a cerave face wash, Using actual shampoo and conditioner (not the combo garbage) and a leave-in. I’ve literally never felt better about my appearance. I’m sure I look the same, but just doing something makes me feel like I’m in control and am helping,” said Reddit user @alelabarca.
“Skincare,” agreed @Mabescs. “I don’t understand why is so gendered. Why ads focus on ‘you can put this black/navy skincare product and still be manly. It’s skin, is an important human organ … Everyone NEEDS to wash your face properly and to protect it from dehydration and sun damage.”
Shockingly, one man offered: “Washing your ass.” And he wasn’t joking, later clarifying, “I know several guys who use soap on their armpits and upper body and then say, ‘the soap running down will clean everything else.’”
Other users agreed that this is a thing.
“One of my friends had a short relationship with a man like this,” said one. “They were both mid 20’s and he had never washed his ass because ‘only gays put hand near the anus, shampoo running down my back will do the job’ and never washed his glans because ‘it was a gay touch.’ My friend ended up having bacterial and fungal infections and even urinal infections.”
Booty hygiene was a highlight for another commentator.
“I’m all in on the bidet. Bought it for my parents as kind of a prank gift and my dad wouldn’t let my mom keep it. ‘I don’t want water shooting up my ass!.’ I kept it and wouldn’t go back. Way cleaner, surprisingly refreshing, and I was the one laughing when nobody could find toilet paper in the stores. A roll lasts me forever now.”
Related: Insecure men with ‘fragile masculinity’ are more likely to support Trump
Cooking and sewing also got mentions, with one man saying needlework is a useful skill to learn (who knew, right?).
“I’m the seamstress (seammaster?) for my family. Fixing clothing and making curtains etc can be just as useful as fixing a car, and comes in handy more frequently!”
Moving on to the sexual side of things, one man said “Y’all are not ready to hear this but: prostate orgasms. Get one of those toys made for that.” The comment prompted thousands of upticks and hundreds of comments.
On and one it continues, with the likes of yoga, cocktails, nice underwear, wearing pink, manicures, “being the little spoon”, and seeing a therapist considered by some men as “gay” or “unmanly.” In 2020, hugging male friends and telling them you love them is also still off-limits for many men, sadly.
Even more worryingly – particularly for 2020 – wearing a face mask is considered unmanly by some.
“I’m the only one at work right now wearing one,” said @eeyore134. “One of the bosses will wear one if he’s trying to impress a client who is wearing one. He did that one day and left it on too long, one of his friends came in and said, “What, you scared?” like they were kids on a playground. And he responded like a kid on a playground, “Nah, I ain’t scared.” and ripped it off. My other boss told us right after we reopened that “bros don’t social distance”. I really hate it there.”
Suggesting there is some hope for humankind, several pointed out how ludicrous it was to avoid doing things because one is scared of appearing “unmanly.”
“Don’t ‘Not Try Something’ because you’re afraid of seeming unmanly,” said one well-liked answer. “Worrying about how ‘Manly’ you appear to the world is actually the least manly thing you can do.
Cam
Apparently the answer “Sex with men” got seventeen thousand upvotes.
1898
“Over the age of 30 or so, having friends and doing things with them,” offered one user. “Most people I know, if they have friends at all, they’re either work buddies or family get-togethers. But a couple of guys being friends and leaving the wives to go on a camping trip, etc. just seems weird. I miss having friends.”
i don’t understand this one at all. my father, uncles, grandfathers, great grandfathers, all had guy friends that they saw on a regular basis and did things with. if this is considered unmanly, it must be a very recent change…
Dunnedin
From obsevation of college students for nearly 40 years, I feel the following may have contributed to this feeling:
1) Before the Gay Liberation movement, guys could go out together without there being “question” as to what might happen (it happened but it was not in people’s minds)
2) In the pursuit of “equality”, male-only events were demonized as “toxic” while women-only events were celebrated
3) When a couple married, it was assumed that the man would drop his old friends (who were from his “wild days”) and concentrate on his family. The woman, however, could keep her old friends and/or develop new friends for “girls night out”
4) When a man wanted to do something with his friends, it was immediately “suspect” – they were going to go get drunk, go to a strip club, get in trouble.
5) A married man should not share his attention or affection with anyone but his wife and kids, even though when the kids came, the woman usually shifted the majority of her attention and affection was directed at the kids
These are just observations. Were all the marriages of my students that way? No, but 80-90% were like that. I am referring to American students/marriages. I have not seen the same level in other countries but have seen it increasing.
1898
“…he had never washed his ass because ‘only gays put hand near the anus’…”
uhhhh does that mean he didn’t wipe his butt after he pooped? what the hell is wrong with people. that guy sounds mental. either that or the story is made up
Cato
Nope, this one is disgustingly common. A teacher friend used to coach junior high and high school sports — a lot of the boys did not wash their asses. He could tell because of the smell and the variety of skid marks on underwear he couldn’t help but notice. In the end (pun intended) he added personal hygiene to his coaching lectures and the health classes he taught in school.
More recently a female friend asked about this on Facebook and got many replies from other women about their ‘one and done’ experiences with these guys. Maybe this is why there are so many incels?
1898
@Cato that’s wild, i had no idea. didn’t their mothers teach them to wash themselves when they were little kids?
My2CentsWorth
This type of behavior is hard to fathom but it is very true. I have worked in close work area with jerks who did not wash their hands after even taking a poop. I must have seen strange to them because I brought in a small container and liquid soap so that we could wash our hands. I was the only one who used the container and soap. One jerk thought that putting maybe 3 or 4 drops of hand sanitizer on his hands and rubbing them was more than enough.
I work solo now. Covid-19 gives me a cover to bring in alcohol in a spray bottle and good paper towels so that I can clean the keyboard, phone, mouse and countertop. If I survive the coronavirus I will continue to do this after it is over. One of the guys who worked with me a few weeks ago did a smelly task in the bathroom. I needed to use it and noticed that the sink was bone dry.
missvamp
agreed- reading some of this- downright sad! who are these people? were they raised by wolves?
1898
@missvamp wolves and other animals clean their butts. i’m watching my dog clean his butt right now! if these weirdos were raised by wolves they would have better hygiene habits
1898
“Bought it for my parents as kind of a prank gift and my dad wouldn’t let my mom keep it.”
wow. your dad decides which gifts your mom is allowed to keep? congrats, your dad is an abusive tyrant. instead of buying your mom a bidet, maybe you should help her escape from your dad’s oppressive regime
Chrisk
“he had never washed his ass because ‘only gays put hand near the anus, shampoo running down my back will do the job’ and never washed his glans because ‘it was a gay touch.’ My friend ended up having bacterial and fungal infections and even urinal infections.”
Yeah, I doubt Mr uptight the closet case was having any sex at all. Nobody wants that.
CanuckD
Sad that so many straight men feel they can’t be themselves. Bullet dodged!
Invader7
” Straight” men are PHUCKED up in so many ways. Glad I’m not one of the deeply insecure little boys. They have a LOT os issues !!! No wonder women don’t want them.They’re immature and fragile wussies !!!
radiooutmike
It’s not just straight dudes with the not ass-washing. Trust me.
Every female I ever slept had that same excuse. Listen, honey that may work for your feet but not the ass. And they’re the ones with the genitals that go in.
barryaksarben
It is strange that straight white men run our society with all the crazy shit they believe since they have never had to question themselves. They are told from the day they are born that they are perfect and so actually believe it. look at Trump. No self introspection ever. It is hard not to pity them but then they act out and you lose all sympathy
ChristopherEK
Misleading article! These are NOT gay things to do for men!