make it stop

Mike Johnson caused so much secondhand embarrassment at the State of the Union

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Mike Johnson sitting to the right of Kamala Harris.

Mike Johnson could not bring himself to stand up for curing cancer or applaud efforts to thwart Vladimir Putin. But the Louisiana Republican did ask Vice President Kamala Harris whether her parents are still alive.

You know, regular ol’ small talk!

Johnson attended his first State of the Union as House Speaker Thursday; and per usual, appeared to be overwhelmed. The poor guy didn’t know whether he should grimace or smile, and wound up just contorting his eyebrows all night long.

The end result was “one of the worst poker faces in American politics,” according to the New York Times.

Seated behind the president, House speakers are often silent characters in the State of the Union production, especially when they represent the opposing party. Perhaps nobody played a better foil than Nancy Pelosi, who attended seven State of the Unions as speaker. Her performative magnum opus came at the end of Donald Trump‘s 2020 address, when she ripped his printed remarks in half.

The gentlelady from San Francisco was not pleased with her experience.

Johnson, conversely, appeared pained. He seemingly wanted to clap for lines about America coming back from COVID or bids to end child hunger. But he couldn’t seem to bring himself to, for that would show decency.

As an apparent self-compromise, Johnson sometimes clapped very briefly, and always while seated. Other times, he tried to seem dismissive, such as when Joe Biden talked about his “predecessor’s” role in stoking the January 6 riots.

But his awkward smirk didn’t signify displeasure. Instead, it represented a man who is lost.

“[Johnson] had the high privilege and distinct honor of trying to control his boyish facial expressions for more than 70 minutes on national television,” noted the NYT.

He failed.

Prior to Thursday, Johnson reportedly pleaded with his caucus to act appropriately during the address, like a concerned schoolteacher preparing their class for a field trip.

Unsurprisingly, the GOP’s most bombastic members did not listen.

Marjorie Taylor Greene continually interrupted Biden, shouting at the president throughout his speech. Dressed in a bright red MAGA hat and oversized blazer, she looked unhinged. The look was eye-popping, and not in a good way…

Johnson’s failure to control Republicans during a 70-minute address falls in line with his historically ineffective tenure as House Speaker. He helped torpedo the Senate’s bipartisan immigration bill, and refuses to hold a vote on the $95 billion foreign aid package for Ukraine, Israel and other allies that passed the Senate with bipartisan support.

The House is so dysfunctional, it can’t even pass a spending bill that lasts longer than a few months. Congress passed another patchwork measure this week, which keeps spending on domestic programs in line with the figure negotiated last year by President Biden and Johnson’s ousted predecessor, Kevin McCarthy.

A religious zealot, Johnson spends his time palling around with gay-hating, slavery-loving Christian nationalists, even inviting a trans-hating pastor as guest House chaplain. Up until this point, he’s primarily used his political platform as a stage to attack LGBTQ+ people.

As a congressman, Johnson has championed a national version of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” legislation. He says the “Democrat Party and their cultural allies are on a misguided crusade to immerse young children in sexual imagery and radical gender ideology.”

Related:

Mike Johnson refuses to apologize for cozying up to gay-hating, slavery-loving Christian nationalists

The House Speaker’s ties to religious extremism go even deeper than previously thought.

Back in the mid-2000s, he argued that gay marriage “is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic.”

Even as Speaker, Johnson has resorted to bashing LGBTQ+ folx, including children. He sent out a fundraising email last year denouncing out high school students.

On Thursday, he clearly tried to denounce Biden with the same venom. But unfortunately for him, his expressions were clueless and vacant.

On the bright side, Johnson may be sparred from being parodied on SNL‘s cold open this week.

That honor will probably belong to Alabama senator Katie Britt. At least somebody in the Republican Party has the speaker’s back…

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