Who Says Lesbians In Relationships Stop Having Sex?

In her 1983 book American Couples, sociologist Pepper Schwartz wrote the sex drives of lesbian couples decline the fastest, branding the phenomenon the “lesbian bed death.” And while that’s a catchy phrase, it’s also a negative sexual stereotype. Also, maybe it’s wrong?

A slew of factors perpetuate the myth of lesbian bed death. German researchers say women feel horny in pursuit of a mate, but that once they find a mate their sex drives decline. Sex educator and author Tristan Taormino says all couples cool off over time no matter their orientation, and adds that just because lesbians don’t have as many advertised sexual outlets as gay men it doesn’t mean they’re any less sexual.

Dana Heller at Old Dominion University agrees. She calls lesbian bed death a heteronormative myth meant to relegate lezzies into an abnormal sexual stereotype alongside gay male promiscuity. She also notes that lesbians lack sexual role models in the media, making lesbian sex even more strange and infrequent, even to lesbians.

So, less Megan Fox, more Wanda Sykes?

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  • Alexa

    The idea of lesbians having less sex is based solely on the misguided view that women don’t want sex as much as men and therefore two women must obviously have less sex than a relationship where there is a man involved. I’ve been around the block a time or two and I’ve never had a relationship where lack of sex was a problem, nor – to the best of my knowledge – have any of my lesbian friends. Straight women have far more complaints – not about lack of sex, but about lack of GOOD sex. You wouldn’t believe the number of straight men who expect oral sex but don’t reciprocate.

  • Revemupman

    Women are just as sexual as men in our prime. If women were less sexual we wouldn’t have this 6 billion human count.

  • Reality Check

    The problem is that just because you don’t like what is being said doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Several researchers studying lesbian couples have claimed their sexual frequency and sex drives, on average, were less than heterosexual and gay couples.

    That lesbians, on average, have LESS sex doesn’t mean that is the case for all lesbians.

    “Lesbian bed death.” is a reality for a lot of lesbians, but if they can be happy with less, then go for them. That is the lifestyle they choose to lead.

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