Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week.
Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This week we have an armada of douches to honor!
First there’s the Mennonite minister found in contempt of court for refusing to testify to the whereabouts of a “former” lesbian who fled the country with her daughter rather than share custody with her ex-partner.
On Thursday, Rev. Kenneth L. Miller of Stuarts Draft, Virginia, was ordered by a Vermont judge to spend a week in jail for following his religious beliefs—which he claims dictate he not testify against anyone who might have been helped fellow douche Lisa Miller (no relation) and her 10-year-old, Isabella, vanish three years ago.
Rev. Miller has already been found guilty for his part in the woman’s escape, for which he faces up to three years in prison. Earlier this month the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals refuted his counsel’s argument the pastor was being forced to testify against himself, since Miller had immunity for anything he told the grand jury.
Back in 2000, Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins had a civil-union ceremony, but broke up by 2003. A court order in Vermont gave Lisa, Isabella’s birth mother, custody of Isabella, but granted Janet visitation rights. When Lisa became Born Again, though, she renounced homosexuality and sought sole custody.
Desperate to “save” the girl from the clutches of a lesbian caregiver, Lisa took her and fled to Central America. It’s now thought mother and child could be in Nicaragua.
Miller says he won’t change his tune (or lack thereof) because he answers to God’s law, which supersedes civil law. “These people they wanted him to testify against are fellow citizens of God’s kingdom,” said Rev. Miller’s attorney “And it’s like, you wanted me to be a rat, you know, to turn on my fellow citizens. That’s basically what it came down to.”
It is in a real republic like the United States—not your imaginary fantasyland, you dingbat.
We should mention, though, before Lisa Miller broke the law by absconding with Isabella, she was represented by Liberty Counsel. You know, those wonderful folks trying to dismantle marriage equality and block California’s ban on reparative therapy on minors.
All together now: What a bunch of douches!