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BAD SEX

Pervy Town Employee On Trial For Frantically Masturbating In Front Of DirecTV Salesman

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51-year-old John Anderson

When DirecTV salesman Errol Flynn (not to be confused with the late Hollywood actor who died in 1959) rang John Anderson’s doorbell last July, the door mysteriously opened on its own.

“I can’t see a body,” Flynn told a district court in Derry, New Hamshire on Tuesday. “All I see is an arm beckoning me.”

That should have been the first sign something might be up. But Flynn had a job to do. Ignoring his better judgement, he followed the arm into the home where he testified that 51-year-old Anderson was waiting for him, completely naked.

Anderson, a former town administrator in Derry, is now being charged with two counts of indecent exposure and lewdness for exposing himself to the 41-year-old salesman.

“My assumption was I caught him in the shower,” Flynn said, innocently.

Ever the professional, he averted his gaze and began making his DirecTV sales pitch. Halfway through the presentation, Anderson interrupted to inform him he was in a “nudist home.”

“Nobody’s nude but you,” Flynn replied.

“You are more than welcome to get naked, too,” Anderson cooed.

Flynn ignored the comment and continued with his pitch.

Moments later, Anderson interrupted him again, this time to ask whether Flynn was a homosexual. Flynn said “no” and carried on with his speech.

“I’m trying to push forward, but I’m starting to get uncomfortable with it because I didn’t understand what he was alluding to,” he told the court.

Then, he says, he heard a noise. He turned to see Anderson frantically masturbating.

“In my mind, I’m like ‘What do I do right now because I’m totally offended,'” Flynn said. “He’s, like, smirking at me, smiling and I’m, like, ‘I’ve never been in a situation like that.'”

Flynn described it as “the most disrespectful thing that has ever happened to me.”

That’s when he finally decided to exit. But not before leaving a sales brochure on the table, writing down his name and number so Anderson could get in touch with him later should he be interested in signing up for DirecTV.

Anderson, who is openly gay, had a slightly different version of the story.

During Tuesday’s six-hour court proceeding, he testified that it was a stifling 94 degrees the day Flynn knocked on his front door. Since his home doesn’t have air conditioning, he had stripped down to his underwear and fallen asleep on the sofa while watching TV. When the doorbell rang, it startled him awake, causing him to spill a glass of water on himself. Rather than answer the door in soaking wet skivvies, he decided to remove the underpants.

Anderson told the court that Flynn displayed no signs of uneasiness with him being naked during the sales presentation, nor did he avert his gaze as claimed.

“Did he do anything to indicate discomfort with nudity?” attorney James Rosenberg asked.

“He did quite the opposite,” Anderson replied. “He stated he couldn’t get naked right then because he was working, but he might be able to stop back later.”

He continued: “My inference from that was that he was interested in pursuing something, but he couldn’t do it then because he had another half-hour of work.”

Judge Lucinda Sadler took under advisement a request to dismiss one of the two charges, saying she would issue a decision later. If convicted, Anderson could face up to two years in a county jail.

By:           Graham Gremore
On:           Aug 21, 2014
Tagged: , , , ,
  • 15 Comments
    • Tackle
      Tackle

      I don’t mean to be rude here, but… Unless that is an old picture of the homeowner John Anderson, and he looks ” different” and is “lighter” today,
      I say it’s 99.9% that DirecTV guy did not say that he “might be able to stop back later.”
      But the DirecTV guy could have politely asked the homeower to put on a robe or something. Or just “immediately” leave when he seen that the homeowner had no interest or intentions of covering up.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 8:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lykeitiz
      lykeitiz

      Sorry, but when the guy’s own story is that he took off his underwear b/c he didn’t want to answer the door in wet underwear, I mean really……? That’s the best he could come up with in court?

      Aug 21, 2014 at 8:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SportGuy
      SportGuy

      @Tackle:

      That is exactly what I was thinking! Their is no way someone who agree to stop back for this guy, even if the salesman was gay.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 9:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      I definitely do NOT believe the homeowner’s story in the least bit, its preposterous, taking your underwear off to answer the door. You guys have clearly never heard of chubby chasers, based on your incredulity at the notion that anyone would ever look twice at a fat man, but I doubt the DirectTV dude is a chubby chaser.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 10:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tazz602
      tazz602

      Sorry – but I’m not buying this Direct TV’s salesman’s account – you are going door to door selling something most people couldn’t bear to hear about, you go INTO the house – first mistake – salesmen don’t do that – you don’t leave when you see he is nude – second mistake – he’s obviously not interested – and then you leave your name and number after you see him masturbating – WTF!!??

      Aug 21, 2014 at 10:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BenInJXN
      BenInJXN

      Not sure that either are telling the full truth, but here’s an update on the story…

      http://www.eagletribune.com/latestnews/x1927935754/Takes-stand-at-lewdness-trial?zc_p=2

      Aug 21, 2014 at 10:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jaybeebrad
      jaybeebrad

      @DarkZephyr: Thanks, dude, for that. Seriously, people’s comments are more about the guy’s weight than they are about his inappropriate behavior.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 12:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vive
      vive

      Well, it was a private house and the salesman didn’t leave right away but stayed for quite a while AND left his name and number before leaving. Judge Judy would totally rule in favor of the homeowner here.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 12:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @BenInJXN: The update seems to be deleted.

      @jaybeebrad: Yeah, sometimes the shallowness level around here is a bit high.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 12:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ditamo
      Ditamo

      “When the doorbell rang, it startled him awake, causing him to spill a glass of water on himself. Rather than answer the door in soaking wet skivvies, he decided to remove the underpants.”

      WTF!!! It would actually make more sense that he kept the wet underwear…at least it would seem like he was taking a dive in the pool, or something.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 5:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stenar
      Stenar

      That’s one dedicated DirecTV salesman. I’ve really got to make this sell, even though he’s naked.

      Aug 21, 2014 at 6:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr
      DarkZephyr

      @Stenar: That is the part that makes me raise an eyebrow about him. I think the home owner did something absurd by answering the door naked in the first place but for the DTV guy to stick around as long as he did AND leave pamphlets and means of contacting him, and THEN for him to seek legal action against the homeowner…kinda weird. I dunno. I concur with others. They both seem kinda fishy.

      Aug 22, 2014 at 12:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jd2222248
      jd2222248

      If this story is true, why would the DirecTV guy enter the house? Okay, once in the house, the DirecTV saw the customer naked, why stay in the house (and continue his pitch)?

      This does sound like a porn scene!

      Aug 22, 2014 at 1:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • joseph
      joseph

      Good God! is this True? I have my doubts about both versions and to go to court over something as shallow as this is quote “Frivilous” unquote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DUH!

      Aug 22, 2014 at 6:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jar
      jar

      @jd2222248: I would assume in 94 degree heat that most people invited him in rather than standing at an open door. My guess is that the salesman thought that he might get a sale by letting the guy expose himself. When that didn’t work, he got offended and this action was filed. They were likely both playing each other and it looks like the salesman will win this game.

      Aug 22, 2014 at 4:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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