We’ve heard of DIY penis casting, which allows men to sculpt rubber dildos out of the shapes of their own dongs, but now an erotic novelist is taking it one step further.
“Where does the miracle of science end and magic begin?”
So begins author Chuck Tingle’s latest ebook Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt.
Tingle is the author of more than 20 erotic ebooks and is perhaps best-known for his dinosaur erotica — yes, dinosaur erotica — with titles like My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass and Space Raptor Butt Invasion.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt tells the story of Kirk, a gay scientist on the leading edge of cloning technology, who randomly selects himself to participate in an experiment combining DNA from his butt and brain, as well as from a hawk, to make a living, breathing, talking clone of his own ass:
Today’s trial, which I have been randomly selected for as the subject, is going to take DNA from my brain, my ass, and a hawk.
Much to Kirk’s surprise, the clone is born with a set of wings:
“Happy to be here.” Says the ass. “But you can call me Kirk’s butt.”
“You know that you’re my butt?” I ask.
“Of course I do.” Says my winged ass. “I’m made from your brain, I know everything that you know.”
A slight chill runs down my spine. I hadn’t realized that all of my deepest secrets would suddenly be transplanted into this butt.
Kirk immediately feels drawn to his own butt, so he asks it out on a date. The butt happily agrees. Over a glass of wine, the two discuss the idea of sentience and knowledge. Kirk’s butt explains the difference between having memories and having experiences:
“I have all your memories about drinking wine, I know what to expect when I do it and I know what it’s going to taste like, but I’ve never truly tasted it for myself.” The butt explains. “It’s incredible.”
Soon, Kirk finds himself falling in love with his butt, confessing:
If I’m going to be honest, at this very moment I can barely contain my lust for this suave sophisticated living butt.
So he asks his butt, who he names Portork, if he’d like to “try anal.” Portork agrees and the two rush back to Kirk’s place, where Kirk pleads:
“I need you to fuck me.” I suddenly admit in a haze of lustful desperation. “I need to be pounded up the ass by my own ass!”
He continues:
“I’m just a bad little twink…And I need to be slammed from behind. I need to be taught a lesson from my own flying gay ass.”
But there’s a slight hiccup. Kirk’s butt doesn’t have a penis. Not a problem! Portork magically grows one. And the two make mad passionate love. The end.
It’s a short, sweet tale about, well, we’re not entirely sure. But fans seem to like it:
Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt is currently #38 on Amazon’s erotic horror bestseller list.
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Watch Rob Gronkowski Read Even More Erotic Fiction About Himself
The Bizarre World Of Gay Dinosaur Erotica Is Very Much A “Thing”
Ryvre M Shuvani
Brian Nesbitt
and we wonder why straight people don’t take us seriously.
Jason Luiz Sounds
Huh !?! ð??½
Peter Bettou
So tacky
musctop
…How does a butt drink wine?
Aaron Halsey
Wtf did I just read?
Dylan J. Tate
“…but fans seem to like it.” That’s a depressing statement.
Raymond Lee-Patrick Guillory
Gun to head….
Tom Kat
Lol I’m Baffled.
Jeremy Bland
With everything facing the gay community at the moment why would you even waste my time with this?
Oscar
This is like a spoof off the South Park Episode, when they eat from their butts. Too funny. For the people taking this too seriously don’t worry about it. It’s made to be erotic fiction, it doesn’t have a point, it’s what ever you make of it. I’m choosing to laugh. 🙂
Paul Kelloway
Travis Wellborn
This is hilarious.
Daniel Stone-Lingenfelter
I’d never leave my house if I could do that.
Daniel Stone-Lingenfelter
Daniel Ybanez
I’ll wait for the movie.
Juan Torred
Corey J Hodges
This is the stupidest thing I’ve read on the internet in a long time. And that’s saying something.
Diego Umino-Hatake
How much did the author paid for this article?
Jacobe Varela
Jennifer Ann Taylor Alda Martinez This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read.
Bauhaus
Oh. My. Goodness.
Billy Budd
Preposterous.
Jimmy McKinney
So stupid!
Frankie Mendoza
Lame
Glücklich
Yes, actually chuckled loud (COL?) just now. Still smirking. Flying sentient butt that grows its own dick? If it were an actual book-book, it would have gag gift or white elephant written all over it.
And I swear to god if my post gets cloned I’m blowing my brains out!
J?h Gatsby
Kristi for our first book club reading
Giancarlo85
This has to be some of the most ridiculous stuff I’ve read all week.
And will someone fix the fucking technical issues on this site? Seeing some strange posters have two or three posts at a time is getting annoying!
Jed Drummond
Cody Waters
Misael Suarez
Ken Shepherd
Praytell
McShane
Kirk’s butt explains the difference between having memories and having experiences:
“Look kid, Chief told me to do this by the book. Trouble is… I’m illiterate!”
#AssyMcGee
Miguel Topete
Alvin Germanotta
Valdemar Machado
LMFAO this was hilarious, this is satire right?
Prachya Van De Gevel
Some ppl can actual do it themselves no extra tools needed just bend it back and Pop it in !
Danny McKay
Well that’s 5 minutes I’ll never get back, complete crap.
George Campbell
Ahem…. 1st april
Daniel Donald Kennedy Jr.
Men…they always try to find ways to amuse someone… I’m not amused
Andy D Germanotta
Roflmao!! Djaffar Medragh
hyhybt
This is the stupidest thing I’ve read since… well, OK, only yesterday, but the article claiming gay supporters have “Selma envy” was exceptionally ludicrous.
Patrick Lehman
I think it’s time to “unlike” this. You represent everything that I loathe about gay culture; the dumbing down of generations of potentially intelligent men and women. I’m going to listen to some Judy Garland records and read a book to get the stench of Queerty out of my head.
Cam
Isn’t this the 3rd or 4th post on Queerty about this Dinosaur erotica? Sounds like one of the editors is trying to publicize their own fetish.
GG
“. . . an experiment combining DNA from his butt and brain, as well as from a hawk, to make a living, breathing, talking clone of his own ass”
– No thanks; we already have enough republicans.
DistingueTraces
I love the humorless comments in this thread — apparently if there’s one thing in gay life that absolutely must be taken seriously, that thing is porn.
stranded
I vote for Jamie Dornan to play the lead in the film version.
gamer
Maaannnnn. I soo wish this book was real 🙁 I’d totally buy it because of how insane it is. There’s no way this is real.