Since most gay kids are brought up under the assumption that they’re straight (and our heteronormative mass media doesn’t do any favors), it’s no surprise that dating girls is a common first step in gay sexual discovery.
Everyone expects it, so we just sort of go with it. Plus when you’re young, any thought of sex is exciting, so why not with a girl?
We’re sure the majority of Queerty readers have dated a female or two in their day. It can be quite the confusing experience.
We asked Whisper to gauge what they’ve been seeing on the topic.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Here’s what they found:
Dennis C. McGrath
Oooo. Flashbacks
Saint Law
“Vaginas are gross.”
Nowt transforms a proud gay man in to an abject little faggot faster than gynophobia.
NoelG
@Saint Law: These are the kind of comments we get when straight people are allowed to troll here.
bottom250
Saint Law, sweetheart please be respecftul, ok hon.
Giancarlo85
Wait for Jason smeds to post. He hates women immensely. I think it has do to with his mom.
As far as this article, more fake whisper quotes.
jason smeds
It’s absolutely possible for a gay-identifying man to date a woman so long as he understands his boundaries and she understands that she’s not going to be able to use her feminine wiles to obtain rewards from him.
She needs to understand that gay-identifying men aren’t in conquest mode when it comes to women. He, as a gay man, tends to see her as a friend who’s good for a chat and for dancing with whenever a Kylie song comes on.
Dev.C
Gosh I do not miss being a closeted teenager, how much time I wasted being depressed and thinking I should become a priest so I wouldn’t have to think about sex. It scares me how many men and boys still think they have to fight the gay inside and try hard to be “Normal”.
Giancarlo85
@jason smeds: Do you add words to sound smarter than you actually are? What’s with all of this “identifying” garbage? Someone is gay. Someone is straight. You don’t need to add extra unnecessary words to something. George Carlin once said something about that. Keep it simple.
“He, as a gay man, tends to see her as a friend who’s good for a chat and for dancing with whenever a Kylie song comes on.”
Stupid stereotype. That’s all you pretty much do on here.
Ridpathos
I love women, but I have to agree. Vaginas are gross. Sorry. They’re slimy holes. At a higher mental level, I know all types of orifices/sexual appendages of either gender are just as gross. But my body isn’t tricking me to like the sexy parts of the opposite sex and is instead tricking me into liking the sexy parts of the same sex.
Stan Schulz
In high school many did what was necessary to survive (I didn’t date women so I don’t include myself in this group). My problem would be with those, who out of high school, keep doing it. Especially now. Those individuals have other mental issues. That level of fear and weight they are putting on others’ opinions of them is extremely unhealthy.
Avery Alvarez
@Ridpathos: I agree. I love women, but sorry, I don’t see the vagina as a beautiful blooming flower, or whatever it’s supposed to be.
If I wasn’t attracted to men, I’d probably think the same of penis.
martinbakman
My only attempt to post today and I get…..
You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.
Christine M Shelby
Better to just stay single then do that to a girl!ð???
polarisfashion
I was at a club and I over heard a woman say, I don’t ever want to see a dick unless it’s made of rubber and strapped to a hot chick!” I guess some lesbians are just as grossed out about men’s bodies as some gay guys are about women’s bodies.
charmin88
No the real Question we should be asking here is Why are “Gay Men” dating women? NOT how is it like dating a woman.
DarkZephyr
I dated females. Was even engaged twice to two different women (at different times of course). Glad I got over that before somebody got hurt. They are two of my very best friends now.
DarkZephyr
@charmin88: How can you even ask that? Unless you are extremely young and are enjoying the greater level of respect and acceptance we have these days and have never ever experienced homophobia on any kind of grand scale.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: The Jason Smeds troll is sore because faced with a choice between a woman or, well, it, a man will ALWAYS choose a woman.
And that’s just a gay man.
Saint Law
@bottom250: I am always respectful, shitpants.
jason smeds
There’s nothing wrong with the biology of a woman. However, her psychology is designed to flirt and win rewards from men in exchange for sexual consent. This psychology does not work as well on men who are attracted to men, whether solely or partly.
When a woman finds out she can’t exchange her sexual consent for rewards from a man, it upsets the apple cart.
Bauhaus
@Saint Law:
BAM!
Mack
I have to agree vaginas are gross. I was married to a woman for 7 years knowing I was gay (this was in the mid 70’s to early 80’s) The hardest thing was to tell my wife I was gay. I did love her but she did absolutely nothing for me sexually. It was even harder to answer the question as to one of who one of the ushers was-my ex-lover of ten years before I got married. We divorced in the early 80’s and now 31 years later we’re still best friends.
Giancarlo85
@jason smeds: What did your mom do that was so bad? Did she abandon you when you were young? Do you really hate women this much? You really are pathetic.
b2rocketfan
I did this off and on for years as I was trying to pray my gay away. Never had sex or kissed as it wasn’t as Christian a thing to do. :-). Honestly, I like women but I don’t enjoy their bodies. I enjoy men’s bodies. I’m not a mysogonist or what have you. I’m just not into vaginas and breasts. The vagina just looks so…empty. :-). Like something is missing. It’s kind of why I’m gay.
Other guys can have all that women have to offer. I’ll enjoy their company, just not in the bedroom. 🙂
PS: I can’t possibly see how someone can get offended at this as I was the one with a warped idea of life that I had to come to terms with. So, if you get butt hurt over me saying I like women, but not vaginas, please save yourself the time and don’t get all mad. I’m pretty cool with life as it is. 🙂
Richard Holaday
Why? I wasn’t interested in doing so before I came out and I’m definitely not interested in finding out now … lol
bottom250
I have never been with a woman. I just can’t imagine it. So icky.
Joe Tomasetti
Everyone travels at different path.
Mitch Broderick
Dated my girlfriend for 3 years before I admitted to being gay. Hardest thing I ever did was break her heart but I would live it all again.
Amy Laub Murphy
Live and let live!
Daniel MacFadden
I slept with girls but never fell in love with one
CaliKyle
@Mack: I used to think the same thing about vaginas but then I grew up; any gay guy past his teen years or maybe early 20s at most who still describes female body parts that way should be embarrassed by his own profound immaturity and misogyny. It’s fine to say we’re not attracted to female body parts but definitely not ok to characterize said parts in vile terms. Like a lot of gay men today, I hope to have a family one day. I can’t imagine looking at a future daughter and thinking that any part of her is “gross.” Even unspoken feelings end up imparted to children so please, vagina-hating men who want families, either forgo fatherhood completely or make damn sure you never have a daughter.
CaliKyle
@bottom250: On the occasions my former frat brothers would give me what they seemed to think was lighthearted crap about being into guys, they almost always fixated on how disgusting they thought anal sex and rimming were, wonder what was wrong with me and all gay guys because we (well, a lot of us anyway) actually enjoy sexual acts and body parts they claimed were repulsive. When I hear gay guys go on about how gross vaginas are and how awful it would be to screw one, lick one, etc I’m reminded that a lot of gay guys are as douchey as straight frat bros, that’s not something to be proud of, btw.
Rio50
I was born in 60. As far back as I can remember I have always been outspoken about my sexuality to the astonishment of my catholic family. We lived in a small town of a poor State in Brazil. I had my first boyfriend when I was 15. We were together for 5yrs. When I went to College, however, I met a girl and we lived together for 3 years. No cheating then. Did I love her? I don’t know. but we had incredible sex back then. I kept dating girls and lads until my mid-30s. Then, suddenly I lost interest for women. Life experience. I had no reason to lie about myself, no denial or stuff. I just liked them. Never touced a woman in the last 20 years.
Rio50
@jason smeds: I would love to counter-argument your statement but there is nothing to say here. u r right.