Teenage girls and gay One Direction fans were forced into panic mode yesterday afternoon as Liam Payne, the band’s resident moral authority and champion of “family values,” posted a “nude” photo to his Instagram page.
“Damn that my last pair!”, he writes, referring to a pair of swim trunks that had inconspicuously been replaced with a giant pixelated censor. He’s standing on the deck of a speeding boat with his arms outstretched, a scene that will most likely inspire a year’s worth of dirty One Direction maritime fanfic.
But Payne paid his “risqué photo” dues back in October when the paparazzi plastered photos of his pubes all over tabloid covers, so seven hours after posting his initial “nude” teaser from the boat, he posted the photo without a censor.
Unfortunately, the entire incident was a hateful joke. Liam was wearing his swimsuit the entire time:
But that doesn’t change the fact that this 20-year-old stud originally gifted us with a presumed “nude” photo, troll or not. This officially makes him the fifth and final member of One Direction to have a “nude” photo readily available on Google — it’s now our duty to ask one of the most important questions ever posed.
Which One Direction member has the best nude photo?
Niall is easily the tamest of the bunch, so it was quite a surprise when he dropped his pant on A League Of Their Own so comedian James Corden could brand his ass with a tattoo.
Louis is an ass man, obviously. He personally approved of the posting of the glorious butt shots above.
The most recent offender. Not pictured: Liam Payne’s great big snake.
Zayn easily has the raunchiest nudes available, if we’re to believe the alleged dick pics he has floating around the web are real. Check them out for yourself here (nsfw).