So you’re sober now because you were either seeking a healthier life or your life was in complete shambles. Congrats!

But hey, you’re not a boring person! You just stopped bumping K and coke at the club. And unlike most of your friends, dry January became a way of life rather than an excuse to meet your friends without tequila.

However, living as a Sober Sally can get you down from time to time! You feel that your vibe is giving prude, but you know you’re a wild child at heart. Fact of the matter is, you can still have freaky fun in sobriety.

Here are 12 sober activities for gays who have given up everything but having fun…


Knowing what to do with your hands while socializing is a constant struggle when you’re not double fisting vodka crans. Grab a coffee and a scone to make any friend-hang or meet-cute more comfortable. A few places known for their sober friendly spaces are Old Louisville Coffee Co Op in Kentucky, Blue Stockings in New York City, and the Liberation Coffee House in Los Angeles. Be careful though, some coffee joints sell booze! Keep the Irish out of your coffee, and you’ll have a great time.

Go cruising

Swearing off of sex and relationships during your first year in sobriety is recommended. It’s a chance to get to know and love yourself more. However, it’s simply a suggestion! For some people, filling the hole… in their spirit that was once filled with substances can be considered harm reduction. So, I say, go for it! WARNING: If you’re using hookup apps, make sure you’re in a safe headspace and able to avoid the inviTes. Consider using Archer, which at least requires selfie verification. Play on, player!

Explore the great outdoors

Not quite ready to get naked with another person yet? Cruise for the other type of D — Vitamin D. The great outdoors also offer peace and exercise, which gets those endorphins pumpin’! Regardless of where you are in the world, The National Park Service, apps like AllTrails, or the crunchy barista at your sober coffee shop, will direct you to the perfect hiking spot to soak up all the sun. 

Be a tourist in your own town

We take where we live for granted, which is funny because we literally know most, if not all of the tourist attractions in town. Most cities have cultural passess through tourism departments that allow for bulk discounted rates for every museum and cultural gem! Or, be a true tourist and jet set across the world — if it’s in your budget.

Retail therapy

Support your local queer-owned businesses. Think of all the money spent on drugs and alcohol that could’ve been going into your savings… or into the pockets of other queer folks. Look for local queer businesses with the Everywhere is Queer app! With over 13,000 businesses listed, you’ll find somewhere to unload some coin.

Community work

Get out of your own head and saturate your soul with service work. Volunteer at your local LGBTQ+ centers! There’s always work to be done for the queer agenda. Check out Centerlink to find your cities or regions LGBTQ+ center.

Mocktails, mocktails, mocktails

OK, OK. I know I said DIY activities weren’t included in this list, but you’ve been pouring drinks for yourself for a long time before you sobered up… so this shouldn’t be a reach for you. Queer-owned Modica has your back for healthy-ish superfood cocktail mixers. Sit back at home on a hot summer night and watch Drag Race reruns with a crisp, non-alcoholic tart cherry drink!

Jump out of a plane

A wise wordsmith once said, “I feel the rush, addicted to your touch,” and no truer words have been spoken about reformed drinkers and druggers. Although we’ve stopped substances, we still chase highs like adrenaline. Some of the relatively safe ways of achieving this natural high are roller coasters, bungee jumping and of course, skydiving.

Get your zen on, girl!

Prefer to stay on the ground? Google the poses “Happy Baby” and “Frog.” Not only do the poses lead you to power bottom mastery, but they also open up those hips where the body likes to store trauma. Look to the experts like ThatYogaFvcker and you’ll be down doggin’ in no time.

Get witchy

It’s tarot time! Grab yourself a deck and start reading yourself and your friends in a new way. The Little Gay Shop has queer themed tarot cards to get your witchy hands on.

Join a sober group

Ah, yes. The activity many of us sober people resist the most, but receive the most benefits from. You don’t have to join a 12-step group, but please, for the sake of community connection, join some type of sober group that discusses the sober life. We all know that discussing a sometimes difficult shared experiences brings peace. Check out Dharma Recovery if you’re the meditating type! Maybe you prefer online connection — Sonder is a great option!

Simply rest

Do it.

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