Mommie Queerest

Brad Pitt To Come Out Of The Celluloid Closet

Brad Pitt is rumored to be shopping around for a gay role to 
figuratively throw in his mother’s homophobic face.

According to that bastion of journalistic integrity, The National Enquirer, the actor is in secret dealings with his Seven Years in Tibet producers to play a gay on the big screen. Mr. Jolie-Pitt has apparently wanted to play it not-straight for years feeling it would add dimension to his work as an actor — and an Oscar to his mantle, if history is any judge.

Jane Pitt’s diatribe in the Springfield News Leader last month reportedly spurred the actor’s decision to put this project on the fast-track, telling producers, “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this film happen.”

Le sigh, be still our collective hearts. Of course, why this couldn’t have happened during his Fight Club physical peak as opposed to his post-Benjamin Button grace period is neither here nor there. We’re just glad that not only did the apple fall far from the tree, in Pitt’s case, the apple is trying to roll downhill to distance itself from the tree’s wacky anti-gay slurs.