Hi Jake,
I recently moved into a new apartment. My bedroom window faces another building and if I look down at just the right angle I can see right into my neighbor’s living room. Now, here’s where it maybe gets weird. The guy is super hot and likes to walk around his apartment naked. I don’t know if he’s gay, but I’ve found myself spying on him. Actually, I don’t know if it counts as spying since the windows more or less face each other and he doesn’t have any blinds. It seems like if he really cared he would either put on clothes or hang up curtains. So maybe he knows and/or likes being watched? What I’m curious about is if watching him crosses a line or makes me a pervert? I don’t normally consider myself a voyeur so this whole thing has taken me by surprise.
Sincerely,
Peeping Pete
Dear Peeping Pete,
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Considering there’s an entire category on Pornhub called, “Spying on neighbor”, my assumption is you are not alone here in being titillated by your neighbor’s exhibitionism. I think you would be hard pressed to find a gay man who would modestly look away any time your friendly neighbor walked by in his naked glory. Like a sexy car crash, it’s simply too hard to look away.
I would agree that this seems like a situation where your neighbor is the one who should be held responsible for the modesty, putting some blinds or curtains up if he didn’t want to be gawked at, especially considering the window is facing right towards you. It seems like he’s almost asking to be watched. If you had even the slightest awareness of your surroundings, you’d probably at least wrap a towel around you if you wanted to remain private, so the fact that he’s not seems like an open invitation for some gawking.
As for surprising yourself with this new obsession, it’s never a good idea to judge yourself for any natural sexual feelings or predilections. The word “pervert” has a negative connotation, as if you are doing something truly abhorrent. Your eyes being drawn to a sexually stimulating real-life specimen from your very own living room certainly seems understandable. If you are feeling bad about yourself, you may want to consider working through any shame you carry with an understanding LGBTQ therapist, or even explore any internalized homophobia that might be shaping these negative self-judgments.
You’re not crossing a line if there’s no line being drawn here (or for that matter, the curtains). The question is, how far will this go? Like a gay version of a Sex and the City episode, you get to decide how to navigate your part in this voyeuristic dance. You could choose to push the boundaries and make yourself known to be watching, and see if he invites you into his flasher world even further (check out that above mentioned porn search if you want to see some example scenarios).
You could also decide to play it coy, further engaging in a cat and mouse game where you keep this little fantasy for yourself, and don’t allow him to see you watching. That’s up to you, but if you aren’t physically violating someone’s space, there’s no boundary crossing here. Be grateful your living in a real life adult movie, and if your naughty Mr. Rogers doesn’t want to star in it anymore, hopefully he owns a pair of underwear.
Jake Myers the Founder of LGBTQ Therapy Space , the first LGBTQ-owned and operated national platform for teletherapy. He has a Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT Affirmative Psychotherapy, and is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in both California and Florida.
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Norm
You’re wrong, only if you get caught.
moviemag
If he’s putting the merchandise on display in the window, you can’t be blamed for doing a little window shopping…
bachy
Once, in my twenties, I had some music on and was dancing naked in front of a mirror situated next to a large window. In an almost trance-like state, I was shocked and deeply embarrassed when a neighbor started whistling at my private, narcissistic performance. Ever since I’ve been very aware of a potential audience.
Nowadays I only open the draperies and dance when I’ve been recently spray-tanned and am under a certain weight.
thebaddestbabby
I hate these types of questions. Just do it or don’t, simple as. Why all the performative moral questioning? Own up to your own desires and be a pervert.
humble charlie
you’re wrong only if you do it without abusing yourself
johncp56
If the other person knows and is sharing, sure, but as I look over the pool and see a hot man, I creep myself out, to long and we are peepers
Kangol2
Short answer: no.
Rikki Roze
Like a sexy car crash? Whaaaaaat?
MDWolf12
I had an apartment with a large sliding glass door onto a terrace. about 200 feet away was a nursing home. I would walk around the apartment naked all the time. My now husband (good southern boy) was mortified that someone would see me. My response was; if they can see that far at their age and like what they see, then good for them! If they don’t like it they don’t have to look in my window.
sfhairy
He’s hoping that people are watching, most likely he is getting a thrill out of being watched.
cheks
The person who wrote this article should proof read it, and look up the difference between “your and you’re”.
Other than that, I walk around naked and have sex with the blinds open all the time. I live in a fairly rural area, so I’m not really worried about it, but occasionally someone will be out on a walk or bike ride and they may see me. Who cares. We’re all naked under our clothes.
And before you start ripping apart my grammar in my comment, keep in mind, it’s a comment, not an article, and I’m not a “professional” writer either.
jekolabor
That’s depend where u live got an incident like that was kiving on first floor just move there dont wan to put curtain on my living room window was in my bed on a Sunday morning whit my boyfriend it was early strart have sex but one thing i forget my bedroom was next to the living no wall separate in bettwen my face was turn in the living what i saw in my window tow old lady anging on the front fance looking at us i decide to put curtain