Aris Sizer has done the world a favor by explaining just what it means to be non-binary using simple words and easily digestible doodles.
Sizer currently attends York St John University where he is studying creative writing. Just to be clear, he has a penis, identifies as gay, and goes by the pronoun “he,” but when it comes to identifying with a specific gender, he’s non-committal.
Growing up, Sizer says, “I knew I wasn’t comfortable addressing myself as a guy, but I also very much knew that I had no desire nor intention to be a woman.”
“I have never felt attached to my assigned gender in any way whatsoever.”
And that is what makes him non-binary.
To better illustrate his point, Sizer created some doodles to explain the gender scale. Most people, he says, think being non-binary looks like this:
He explains: “Imagine the line is the mystical line of gender, with man on one end and woman on the other. I imagined that non-binary was in the middle, and you could slide along that scale as you pleased so occasionally you were more masculine and occasionally you were more feminine.”
But, he says, it’s actually a little more complicated than that.
“Non binary means free from the binary (two) systems that were once in place, so simply drawing a line (or squiggle, whatever, shut up) between man and woman a non-binary does not make,” he explains.
Instead, non-binary looks more like this:
As you can see, he’s not on the scale at all. He’s his own special star shining by himself high above everyone else.
“I don’t want to be a part of that spectrum at all,” he writes, “and that’s not because I’m some petulant child that wants to uproot the foundations of society (not yet, anyways), nor is it because I ‘want to be interesting’ (I’m exceptionally interesting regardless of my gender thank you) or because I’m a ‘special snowflake’ (whatever the fuck that even means), it’s just because it’s the truth.”
Sizer is hardly alone is how he feels about gender. According to GLAAD, 12% of millennials currently identify as genderqueer, transgender, or gender non-conforming. Meanwhile, celebrities like actor Tom Phelan (pictured), model Andreja Pejic, and rapper Angel Haze are stepping up to show the mainstream exactly what those terms mean.
Sizer says he doesn’t care if people accept his gender or not because “it makes no difference either way.” Ultimately, he writes, “the topic of your identity begins and ends with you, nobody else.”
“Gender is a human experience,” he explains, “and human experiences cannot be reduced to simplistic, reductive structures.”
They can, however, be explained in doodles.
He concludes by writing:
If you’re cis-gendered you may find all of this a little difficult to understand at first, but here’s a top life hack on how to deal with it all: when someone tells you how they feel believe them, and accept them for it. That’s the easiest thing in the world. And remember, it’s definitely taken the person telling you a million years longer to understand it themselves. Take it from Disney:
Related: 14 young artists who are changing the way we think of gender
h/t: Huffington Post
Heywood Jablowme
“I have never felt attached to my assigned gender in any way whatsoever.”
Reminds of the ’90s song “Detachable Penis”:
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It’s detachable.
[Background singing begins: “detachable penis” over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don’t need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can’t for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
They hadn’t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
‘Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
But they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don’t like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
And calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place,
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
But I don’t know.
Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
Tête Carrée
I can’t even find my glasses.
Kangol
Several biological sexes (i.e., intersex people, other species transsexual behaviors, etc.), and multiple genders, which are not fixed and have changed over history, under differing social and political contexts, etc. A little Judith Butler might be a good place to start reading!
Charlie in Charge
Ooh, get her.
KaiserVonScheiss
@Kangol
Um…yeah. Maybe stop reading postmodernist nonsense. Those people are biology deniers.
Humans are bisexual. Intersex is a defect, not a third sex. Intersex people are not required for sexual reproduction.
Xzamilloh
*people like *this* person
Heywood Jablowme
But he explains it all so well in those CRAYON diagrams!
londonico
I completely understand the concept, but in the end, it amounts to being your own unique self. That’s it.
I don’t think it needs all these terms like non-binary, etc. It unnecessarily complicates things and puts some people off. Just say you are you, a human being, special in your own way.
Danny595
Since gay men are men who like men, why would any gay man date a man who doesn’t think of himself as a man?
amigay
Danny, don’t even try to figure that one out.
sanfranderek
Just because you can’t understand something, it doesn’t mean its wrong.
KaiserVonScheiss
@sanfranderek
I understand that it’s a bunch of made up nonsense.
dwes09
Funny how childishly rigid you are, and how defensive when others call you on the made up nonsense you cling to so tightly. And your nonsense isn’t even harmless or benign.
I don’t get non-binary or “gender queer” people either, but my manhood does not depend on sneering at them as yours does. Nor am i threatened by difference or change or social progress as you and your kind are. You trumpian regressives are sad, self absorbed and dull folks indeed.
RIGay
I have to say… I concur; this is just exhausting. Annoyingly exhausting.
Gaytaffuk
It seems that you are confusing sex and sexuality.
Sex is a biological identification , sexuality is a man-made construct. Sexuality is applied and in our society is applied in a binary form as this is how the majority of society sees sexuality.
When it comes to personal sexuality this is and should be totally up to the individual. It is not for others to dictate an individual’s sexuality.
This is where the difficulty arises as sexuality is not visible so cannot be perceived by anyone but the individual concerned. No-one one has the right to tell me or anyone else how they should perceive themselves from any perspective, sexuality, political orientation, sense of humour. They are all very personal and all personal constructs so no-one one has the right to tell anyone else how they should perceive themselves or their sexuality.
You have no right to tell anyone that their chosen identifier does not exist.
Mo Bro
@dwes09:
You’re “not threatened by difference or change”?
Wow, that is such bullshit.
You’re conspicuously threatened by anyone who doesn’t agree with your narrow worldview, as has been blatantly on display in every one of your comments. For you, of all people, to claim open-mindedness is a patent absurdity . . . but it did make me lightly chuckle under my breath.
Mo Bro
Our reputations, at the least.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
I’m different just like everybody else!
KaiserVonScheiss
@dwes09
When you run out of arguments against biological reality, use personal attacks.
Non-binary is either a valid gender or it isn’t. It isn’t.
Social constructionism is just flatly wrong and anti-science.
Bob LaBlah
“attention whore.”
I came to the same conclusion. I read about one third of the article and by that time I no longer cared and questioned why the hell am I even reading this. This GUY has some issues that need to be addressed.
Bob LaBlah
It seems surprising that he doesn’t have a youtube channel where you can actually see how moping his personality really is, not that it would make him any more interesting.
junk4sts
I don’t really care about the article, I’ll say I believe that he believes what he’s saying, and what I think doesn’t matter. But what really bothers me is the tone of the headline, it has a mean spirited angry tone to it that puts the reader in defensive mode before ever reading the article. Why couldn’t the title read something like “College Student explains what non-binary means to him”. The title of the article makes me dislike the guy before reading even a single word.
Jack Meoff
Nailed it
Tête Carrée
@Bob LaBlah
You do realize that the photo isn’t the same as the person quoted in the article?
He does look like a pouty little b**** though.
Cylest Brooks
Hi everyone! Friendly Queerty moderator here.
I have removed a vast majority of the comments. Please be advised that any comments that attempt to dismiss, invalidate, question, or make fun of non-binary people will be deleted.
If you’re not sure why your comment is gone, please review our comment policy. Thanks!