campaign clown

This far-right candidate’s new campaign buddy is almost too unhinged for words

Of all the wild right-wing campaign stumpers out there, this Texan “prophet” might just take the (allegedly anointed) cake.

Trump-loving Pennsylvania gubernatorial hopeful Doug Mastriano has brought Christ-shyster Lance Wallnau to help sell his candidacy, and it’s a partnership made in their particular version of heaven.

As reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer, this evangelist’s questionable record has it all: accusing the Women’s March of manifesting “the spirit of Jezebel”, hocking $45 “prayer coins” of Donald Trump‘s face with Jim Bakker, hailing Biden as the “antichrist”… we could go all day.

Wallnau was the speaker at a recent Mastriano rally who notably led the audience in an uncomfortably familiar right-hand salute.

He calls for a “new birth of liberty” to a crowd of raised arms:

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The most unbelievable bit of this huckster’s history might just be an offhand story he told on a livestream years ago that is almost impossible to summarize.

In it, Wallnau told the grand tale of a “gay and very adamantly anti-Christian” bar owner who was redeemed in Christ and delivered from homosexuality by a soul-saving confection.

A saved man who frequented the bar apparently saved two “hookers” he met there, and the three came together to bake a cake for the owner. Not just any cake, of course; this cake was anointed.

“The power of God hit him while he was eating the cake,” he said. And just like that, the owner was saved and turned straight.

We wish we were joking:

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Mastriano seems all too appreciative to have this case study on his campaign trail. In a recent facebook post, he wrote, “Thank you, Lance Wallnau for being here!” with a gallery of chummy photos. Besties!

Blessedly for the rest of us, it seems Mastriano’s campaign is floundering. The candidate recently spoke to a crowd of just a few dozen in Harrisburg — many of whom were his own volunteers — in the same spot that he drew thousands to in 2020.

His trailing poll numbers continue to lessen, and he hasn’t seen any ad spots in months. It seems this cursed union is a failing effort to keep his last legs standing. Hallelujah.

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