kerry-rhodes-gayKerry Rhodes is really straight, you guys. Stop playing around.

The NFL free agent (actor/model and philanthropist, according to Twitter) announced that he could possibly be the father of Kim Kardashian’s baby earlier this week in an attempt to cover up an alleged gay affair with his former assistant. He insists these steamy beach photos with his ex-beau are totally platonic, and even told TMZ he was “not gay.”

So “not gay,” in fact, that he was “f*cking her [Kim Kardashian] the same time as K.West was lol!!!” he told friends that totally know he’s gay in a text message.

1017064_409187915860657_936336801_nWe just learned that earlier this week, Rhodes attempted to make another very large statement via Twitter by posting a photo (right) of his super masc, totally heterosexual hand grasping that of a presumably female suitor’s, captioned “No caption. just real.”

Nothing in this world says love like an Insta-fied polaroid of your dainty lover caressing your giant, manly hand. The only question now is “Who is this woman?” His best friend? His life coach? The woman who was getting out of this cab just as he was getting in?

Whoever she is, we hope she’s into passionate tops.

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