If Ophelia Had a Sassy Gay Friend, She Never Would’ve Drowned Herself
By Queerty Staff · 9 comments· Updated on March 10, 2010
Oh, what a different life story Hamlet would have had if only Ophelia had a gay BFF (in real life named Brian Gallivan). Namely, she never would’ve left the house wearing something so plain.
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Glad to know we can be of help. Now imagine if Titus Andronicus had a lesbian buddy that could have gotten him to mellow out a bit. Think of the lives they would have saved.
They were doing alright until the “She’s a stupid bitch” part. Yeah, if I was a fruit fly, I’d want my sassy gay friend to call me a “stupid bitch”. Oh, wait, I wouldn’t.
Give it up, Ophelia, Hamlet is really in love with Horatio, you don’t have a chance.
Her brother, Laertes might have been gay. During the time Shakespeare was written, King Charles of France was known for wearing dresses and Polonius was a little too worried about the sexual activities of his son who was in France, so much so that he sent a servant to spy on him. Elizabethan audiences would have gotten the reference.
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Shade
Methinks the Lady doth protest too little.
Glad to know we can be of help. Now imagine if Titus Andronicus had a lesbian buddy that could have gotten him to mellow out a bit. Think of the lives they would have saved.
alan brickman
funny!!
Henry Holland
They were doing alright until the “She’s a stupid bitch” part. Yeah, if I was a fruit fly, I’d want my sassy gay friend to call me a “stupid bitch”. Oh, wait, I wouldn’t.
Give it up, Ophelia, Hamlet is really in love with Horatio, you don’t have a chance.
Adam
i was getting ready to write an irritated why-do-we-have-to-be-straight-women’s-accessories-and-life-savers comment, but this was pretty funny.
sal(the original)
sad story,but this is happening to me right now,im the person who’s telling a girlfriend her ex is not worth her tears
ATUN
@Henry Holland: I got the same feeling when I studied Hamlet too! I just knew Horatio and him had something going on!
james p. p.
Adam and I are very much on the same page…
ossurworld
Read Hamlet closer. He is Ophelia’s gay friend and wouldn’t marry her.
Lorraine
Her brother, Laertes might have been gay. During the time Shakespeare was written, King Charles of France was known for wearing dresses and Polonius was a little too worried about the sexual activities of his son who was in France, so much so that he sent a servant to spy on him. Elizabethan audiences would have gotten the reference.