It’s Time To Reclaim The F-Word By Using It A Million Times Every Friday

It seems like everytime a basketball player, Oscar producer or random goon in New York City says “faggot”, GLAAD and everyone else gets all riled up and tries to publicly shame whoever said it.

That’s fine, but it’s also kinda like Holden Caulfield trying to erase all the “fuck yous” in the world—”If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn’t rub out even half the ‘Fuck you’ signs in the world. It’s impossible.”

So maybe it’s time we reclaim “faggot” by using it to denote positive things instead.

HuffPo Gay Voices writer Domenick Scudera has a plan:

You have probably heard of other people reclaiming offensive language to remove the sting, and now it is the gays’ turn… Here is what I propose: designate one day a week, say, a Friday, as Fag Friday or, simply, Fagday. During the course of the day, substitute words that have positive connotations with the word “fag” or “faggot.” For instance, instead of saying, “Have a nice day!” say, “Have a fag day!” “Nice” = “fag.” … If we all do this all day long on Fagdays, then the whole nation will be equating “faggots” with happy, joyful things…

The general public will overhear statements like these all day long:

• “You look absolutely fagtastic today!”

• “Fag morning. How may I help you?”

• “Oh, Karen, your baby is just faggy! Look at that faggoty face!”

…It’s just a word. It will hurt you only if you let it.

May the Fag be with you!

He’s only kidding of course as he suggests bringing up his plan at the next “Gay Agenda meeting.” But he raises an interesting point. Especially when gays are increasingly known as socially adept creatives who are sometimes well-cultured and quite fashionable, when will “gay” stop working as a synonym for “stupid, un-original and lifeless” and start meaning “well put together and unconventionally clever”?

Like so:

“You’re son and his purple fanny pack are totally gay.”

“Why thank you! He made the fanny pack himself and uses it to raise money for women who have had their faces kicked off by horses.”

“I wish my son was as gay as yours.”

“Oooooh gurl, please.”

See? Magical.

Images via [nivs]