eye roll

Ivanka is using chatGPT to dish out life advice & ruin one of our favorite ’80s movies

By · 8 comments
Ivanka Trump taking a selfie.

Ivanka Trump wants to be the ball!

The former first daughter was watching Caddyshack the other night, and asked Chat GPT to dispense some life advice as Chevy Chase’s legendary character, Ty Webb.

That sounds like a relatable activity…except for the fact Ivanka isn’t relatable at all. Born into opulent wealth, her journey couldn’t be more different from Danny Noonan’s, the wayward high school caddie who asks Webb about the secrets of life.

“There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball,” says Webb in the all-time great scene.

With his eyes blindfolded, Webb’s shot hits the green, whereas Noonan’s finds water.

“You’re not being the ball!,” shouts Webb.

And this applies to Ivanka…how?

When asked to spout life advice in the style of Ty Webb, Chat GPT tells Ivanka to be the ball, along with a myriad of cliches. She’s advised to “trust her instincts” and “embrace the journey with a smile.”

Just like in golf, the real game is played inside one’s head.

Blah! Blah! Blah!

Now presenting herself as half #SocialiteBarbie, half Mom Influencer, Ivanka desperately wants to project the image that she’s a regular fun loving gal…who just happens to attend events like Jeff Bezos’ exclusive Beverly Hills birthday party with Kim Kardashian.

Forget the diamond earrings and expensive dresses. Ivanka’s new aesthetic is “coffee, tea or me?”

That is, assuming she doesn’t have to brew any of the coffee or tea. That’s what the help is for!

Now residing in Miami’s “Billionaire Bunker,” it’s hard to believe that Ivanka is a lost girl just looking for her way in life. Mrs. Kushner Trump may be experiencing an identity crisis, but that’s because her father is facing 91 felony charges and left the White House in disgrace.

Danny Noonan didn’t have that problem. The poor kid was looking to dig up $8,000 so he could attend college in Nebraska.

Ivanka, meanwhile, is now enjoying the view…from the roof of an NYC penthouse.

Indeed, Ivanka’s awkward Comeback Era is in full swing. For the first time in years, she’s been a regular at A-list events, such as Kim K’s bday bash and the Fontainebleau’s grand opening in Las Vegas.

More recently, she took her family to the NBA All-Star Game. There she was, standing at center court, and staying in a fancy hotel suite.

“Embracing the journey with a smile” is a lot easier when you’re really, really rich!

Though Ivanka now seems determined to separate herself from politics, that wasn’t always the case. Serving as a White House advisor, she originally wanted to play a big role in her daddy’s administration.

In fact, new reporting details the MAGA wig snatch between Ivanka and Melania. While Melania was hiding out in Trump Tower at the beginning of Trump’s presidency, Ivanka was busy revamping the East Wing of the White House to better suit her own personal needs.

New York Times journalist Katie Rogers details the power struggle in her new book, “American Woman: The Transformation of the Modern First Lady, from Hillary Clinton to Jill Biden.”

In it, Rogers writes that Ivanka wanted to carry out some of the FLOTUS responsibilities for Melania, which she didn’t appreciate.

“Your path, much like a putt on the undulating greens of life, isn’t always straight.”

True! Sometimes, life’s path takes you to the First Lady’s White House quarters…while the actual FLOTUS is in New York meeting with attorneys about her pre- and postnuptial agreements.

Even though Ivanka is now projecting a care-free image, she can’t entirely run away from her surname. Recent reporting reveals a political action committee tied to her father picked up the tab last year for $2.3 million of her legal fees.

You know, just like Danny Noonan!

As the general election approaches, it will be increasingly difficult for Ivanka to separate herself from her family’s toxic brand. With Lara Trump poised to become RNC co-chair, the Trumps will be more synonymous with the GOP than ever before.

There are also those rumblings about Jared’s interest in Secretary of State, should Ivanka’s dad win again…

With that in mind, may we all heed Ty Webb’s advice, and be the ball this election year. Life definitely isn’t always straight.

In fact, if Trump wins another term, we will most certainly be going backwards.

Related:

MAGA wig snatch! Melania & Ivanka’s cold war was even nastier than we thought, according to scathing new tell-all

Author Katie Rogers digs into the pair’s icy relationship, which was reportedly never great to begin with but got especially frigid after Donald Trump took office.

Move over Ivanka, Lara Trump is angling to be Daddy’s new favorite daughter

Donald Trump recently endorsed Lara for RNC co-chair.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Once Monthly Annually

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated