It’s been more than five months since Bud Light tapped trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney to take part in a harmless promotional campaign. And Ted Cruz still wants answers, even as the rest of the country, including outraged MAGA heads, have long since moved on.
Last week, Cruz’s office issued a press release announcing the attention-hungry senator had sent a letter to Anheuser-Busch CEO Michel Doukeris demanding he comply with his oversight inquiry (Senator Marsha Blackburn from Tennessee co-authored the pointless missive).
Cruz says he’s investigating Anheuser-Busch for advertising beer to minors, claiming that many of Mulvaney’s social media followers are younger than 21. But nobody buys that, because it’s ridiculous. We all know Cruz is going after Bud Light because they committed the crime of partnering with a transgender celebrity.
It’s so hateful and transparent.
🙄 You would think he would start thinking about fixing some big problems his state has.
— Sheila from Shirley (@DebRobDi) August 20, 2023
I just wonder when he’s actually going to be a Senator.
— DougZillaGorilla (@DougGorilla) August 20, 2023
What’s his take on his base now buying more Mexican beer than American beer? Isn’t that so deep into hypocrisy that they would just burst into flames?
— Chris (@undertow_2020) August 20, 2023
Why isn’t Ted focused on the Texas power grid? Hurricane season is on its way.
— everlovinaddie (@AddieShepherd19) August 18, 2023
Imagine being so tortured by things like Barbie, Bud Light, M&M’s, and Mr. Potato Head.
— Marc 🟧 (@MarcCommoy) August 18, 2023
Cruz first stated his desire to investigate Anheuser-Busch back in May, when the silly controversy was only about two months old. Forever starved for adulation, Cruz seemingly thought he could position himself as a brave culture warrior fighting against light beer.
But his apparent plan hasn’t worked out. In recent days, it’s been unearthed that Cruz once enlisted his young daughter to help him in a beer competition, making him a total hypocrite (shocking)!
Fittingly, the competition was centered around naming a new Anheuser-Busch beverage. This stuff is too good to make up.
Speaking of hypocrites, Kid Rock, who posted an unhinged video of himself shooting down Bud Light cans, was recently spotted drinking, wait for it, a Bud Light.
Again: you can’t make this stuff up.
Faced with empty threats over a nonsense investigation, Anheuser-Busch has largely ignored Cruz’s demands, according to his office. While senators are free to make document requests of public and private companies, his letter is basically hot air.
Since the Democrats maintain control of the Senate, Cruz, a Republican, is unable to issue subpoenas or call hearings.
In addition to focusing on an old Bud Light marketing campaign, he has spent his summer coming up with the stupidest response to the Supreme Court’s latest anti-LGBTQ+ ruling and complaining about Barbie.
And unsurprisingly, Texans seem to be tiring of their junior senator.
Cruz, who remains one of the senator’s most unpopular figures, is facing his toughest reelection challenge yet. His opponent, Democratic representative Collin Allred, is cut right out of central casting. A fourth-generation Texan, the ex-linebacker played his college ball at Baylor and four seasons in the NFL.
Since being elected to Congress, he’s also raked up a strong record of bipartisan achievements.
It certainly looks like the Texas Democrats’ “Beat Cruz War Room” will have a lot of material at its disposal. Cruz is so reactionary, he recently fell for one of the oldest Twitter hoaxes in the book: the ol’ shark swimming on a highway.
Things are bad Ted. This was in one of the local malls pic.twitter.com/G7cekKQcAP
— greg (@greg16676935420) August 21, 2023
I saw this on my way to work today.
— Craig Chamberlin (@CraigChamberlin) August 21, 2023
Horrifying. pic.twitter.com/w8R7YuyR8g
Wait until you see the pics of that Sharknado near Santa Monica. pic.twitter.com/gnRAleI1ir
— Corey Clayton (@CoreyClayton) August 21, 2023
BRUH come on.
— James T. Yoder (@JamesYoder) August 21, 2023
It’s fake, Ted.
— J. Toons! (@jdotcartoons) August 21, 2023
With a mind like that, maybe it’s better for Cruz to focus on non-issues, anyway. He does not seem like a senator positioned to take on anything serious at the moment, or ever.
CatholicXXX
Ill never understand why budlight even paired up with the trans person. Dylan? IDK.
That beer already had a target consumer and was doing fine. They should’ve marketed a struggling brand.
dbmcvey
I’ll never understand how you conservatives get so triggered by a person drinking a beer.
abfab
Target consumer that being you, XXX and ShaverC who like drinking shitty beer.
ZzBomb
You must not work in business or be very savvy financially b/c everyone in sales will tell you that if you’re not growing or expanding you’re dying. There’s nothing wrong with them wanting to expand into new markets. But there is everything wrong with your hatred for your fellow human beings.
abfab
xxx works inbetween the pews
Fahd
Mentioning Cruz reminds me that:
I do not like that Senator Cruz
I do not like his far right views
I do not like his stupid chin
I do not like his smarmy grin
I do not like him with a beard
I do not like him freshly sheared
I do not like what he just said
I do not like his boxy head
I do not like him wearing glasses
I do not like him greeting kids in classes
I do not like his stupid suits
I do not like his cowboy boots
I do not like him when he sneezes
I do not like him eating cheeses
I do not like him in the leaves
I do not like him when he feeds
I do not like him by a wall
I do not like his tattoo at all
I do not like him in a room
I do not like him in Cancun
I do not like him playing ball
I do not like his face at all
From John Oliver
ShaverC
It’s fun to call out the insanity of this side, but you should also call out the insanity of the other side… the people who believe men can turn into women, or have no “gender” at all.
abfab
Fun. Lots of fun. Don’t tell anyone what they should be doing. You’re an asshole.
ShaverC
abfab, Why are you telling me what to do then?
abfab
Because you are a mess, a GOPTROLL and you should think more about sucking Ted Cruz’s dick. It will do you good.
dbmcvey
Shaver’s deranged obsession with trans people is pretty creepy.
Den
Despite your infantile inability to accept things that require any thought on your part (pretty unique to the regressive minded), trans people are real, as are people who feel they do not fit into any of the conventional gender roles. Just like gay people are real (though your kind likely feel that it is a “lifestyle choice” or “sin” or mental illness). Further, the existence of trans and non-gender conforming people does not affect your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness in the slightest. Why then do you desire to make fun of and legislate against them? Are you that weak emotionally and intellectually? Are you that fearful of the things you are unable to understand? You right wingers are such a drag on social progress! You all would have been happier born in medieval times when you could burn all queer people at the stake and bring a picnic to watch!
abfab
Right on, Den!
mailliw110
“SQUIRREL!!!”
Best line of the movie!
ShaverC
abfab, So you think you know better than everyone else. Gotcha.
abfab
Oppression will not work. It will not be tolerated. You should expect pushback every step of the way.
And in case you need a refresher….this is you, the oppressor. Start with wiki….it’s simple. For simple minds.
~~~
Oppression is malicious or unjust treatment of, or exercise of power over, a group of individuals, often in the form of governmental authority or cultural opprobrium. It is related to regimentation, class, society, and punishment. Oppression may be overt or covert, depending on how it is practiced
Den
“abfab, So you think you know better than everyone else. Gotcha.”
The viewpoint he is expressing is much more widespread than yours. Both here and in general. Most people are neither as closed minded or repressive as you and other right wing heterosexuals.
abfab
Exactly.
PubisHairus
“Oppression will not work. It will not be tolerated. You should expect pushback every step of the way.”
Here, here! Best way to say it, abfab. The *only thing* I disagree with is that ShaverC is “the oppressor.” They’re more like the enthusiastic volunteer kapo.
cuteguy
Everything must be bigger in Texas, including stupidity bc they’re the ones who voted in that mor0n Ted Cruz into office in the first place. (Dis)honorable mention to Florida for voting in pudding fingers Duh-santis to govern them. I guess all that in breeding in the south is finally taking a toll on these United. States.
abfab
cuteguy; exhibit A
Jim
OMG the headline writer is so naive!
I’m from Texas and we expect stupid from Ted at least once a year and you know how he tires to up things