Sure, it’s fun to have nostalgia for the Spice Girls or whatever other 90s trend you were into, but let’s not forget the dirty, awful truth: they were really not good at all. Sorry. It was all good stupid fun, and their movie’s an entertaining thing to have on in the background at a party, but good grief they were/are terrible.

If you need a reminder, just take a look at their new semi-reunion song. Ginger, Baby, and Scary have gotten back together to form what they call a sub-group (no) called GEM (no) and their new song is … oh lord, maybe it could play in the background of a deodorant commercial?

“She’s got that boom boom pop,” the song goes, “that’s something they can’t stop. She’s got that oh oh ohhhhhh.”

There’s maybe about 10 seconds of hooks in the whole song, looped until you don’t even remember you’re listening to a song anymore, and then it just sort of fades out like all of those songs that can’t be bothered to write an ending.

It’s probably sensible that Sporty and Posh said “no thanks” to whatever this project is.

In this uncomfortable new release lies the awful truth about nostalgia: it’s a bad idea, a mistake to be avoided at all costs. When you think back fondly on the past, you remember a time that did not exist, and you shirk from your duty to appreciate that which is good in the present day. To be sure, there was good music in the 90s, and you should absolutely enjoy it today. But beware of nostalgia, always poisoning your judgement, always drawing you to impart virtue upon that which is undeserving.


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