thicc thigh pride

Paul Mescal who? Chris Pine is our new short shorts king & vows never to give up his 5″ inseam

Chris Pine

Paul Mescal may have just been dethroned as our reigning short shorts king.

While it’s been the norm for gays to rock 5″ inseams or less for years, recently the heteros have taken to showing their allyship by flexing their thicc thigh pride.

Mescal has been leading the leggy charge with other quadricep-baring aficionados like Milo Ventimiglia, Jake Gyllenhaal, The Rock, and Cristiano Ronaldo following close behind.

It should be noted that most mainstream media outlets seem to deem any pair of shorts on a male-identifying celebrity that are above the knee as “short shorts.” So while gays may not consider certain lengths to be all that out of the ordinary, the straights are very animated by the thought of men unabashedly flashing their gams in fitted half-pants!

Complicating matters, some gays feel short shorts have already become too popular among breeders that they’ve moved on to wearing giant shorts again. Keep up, y’all!

But we digress.

Last month, Star Trek hunk Chris Pine got caught up in the thigh-high whirlwind after he went viral for leaving a morning workout class putting on a leggy display in a pair of white short shorts. He boldly went where no man many gay men have gone before.

Behold the Thigh Master

While there was much shock and awe over Pine’s “daring” ensemble, or lack there of, it wasn’t the first time the 43-year-old stepped out flaunting his man hams.

Turns out, he’s been serving hot quad energy for years!

On Monday, Pine was in the midst of promoting his new film Wish when he got questioned about his skimpy sartorial choices and was tasked with “defending” his penchant for “short shorts.”

But Pine was undeterred and had no shame about his slutty shorts game.

“I don’t think there is anything to defend,” the Dungeons & Dragons star told E! News. “It’s called short shorts, isn’t it? It’s supposed to be short.” Facts are facts!

Pine then dropped fashion knowledge on the children.

“Corduroy short shorts. I mean, it’s a vibe. It’s the best vibe,” he said with swagger. “It’s like a Tom Selleck vibe. It’s like a ’70s surfer vibe. I prefer that than the long, you know [shorts].”

For those not getting the OG Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck nod, Pine then tried to speak to Zoomers by referencing the recent HBO series Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty, which centers on the Showtime era of the Los Angeles Lakers.

“It’s like Showtime. Lakers—would you rather see them with the short shorts and Magic Johnson looking like a basketball player and athlete, rather than wearing some sort of capri on the floor?” Pine added snarkily.

“So, I’ll be wearing the short shorts.” We stan our confident “short shorts” king!

When asked if he’ll ever give up on exposing his thighs in above-the-knee shorts, Pine joked, “Until the legs go.”

Luckily, we don’t think that day will ever come.

Check out a few more shots of Chris Pine waving his thicc thigh pride like a champ below:

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