When we draw direct lines from sexual orientation or bullying to suicide, it can influence someone who is at-risk to assume that taking your own life is what you’re supposed to do next if you are LGBT or bullied. This may not seem rational, but attempting to take your own life is an irrational act.As a caring community, we can help avoid making suicide appear like a logical choice by putting distance between statements or stories describing instances of bullying and instances of suicide.
Another factor that increases risk is suicide contagion – the link between media reports and a person’s decision to attempt suicide. In other words, the more a story of a particular victim is out there, the more likely one or more people who are at-risk will also attempt suicide. The recent tragedy in Ottawa appears to have occurred as a combination of compromised psychological well-being influenced by factors of contagion. That the young person was also the victim of anti-LGBT bullying made a bad situation even worse.
– Interim executive director and CEO of The Trevor Project David McFarland discussing the link between suicide contagion and media coverage.
Image via epSos.de
kylew
I absolutely, wholeheartedly, 100% agree with this. There is a culture of self-pity in which many people like to see themselves as victims, and whilst there ARE many genuine victims who have been bullied beyond the endurance of even the most resillient ego, there are also innumerable instances where balanced people look at the circumstances, and think, “Well I feel very sorry for the kid, but suicide sure looks like an oveer-reaction.”
I get so pissed off at this middle class, foppish, fuck my life attitude in which teens who have never encountered hardship, swoon around with hankies on their foreheads telling anyone who’ll listen how badly off they are because mummy won’t buy them a car at 17 or a $300 pair of jeans.
Maybe the whole problem is that kids do not endure enough character-building adversity.
This is exactly why suicides are not routinely reported in the local or national press. There are so very many, and if people saw them as a valid and acceptable choice out of an unpleasant situation, a lot more would probably follow suit.
Chad
Well said kylew.
Kev C
Oh boy, here we go again.
On any given day, 100s of people commit suicide in the USA, and 11x as many attempt suicide. Most of these are males. 4x as many than females. Studies of GLBT suicides indicate a higher rate of suicide with a wide range of percentages. Most of these are never reported in newspapers because of internal policies involving privacy and age laws of young offenders, and not because of irrational fears of suicide contagion.
What it boils down to is this: As a society, we are just uncomfortable with hearing about suicides. With reporting suicides. It depresses us. It doesn’t sell products. So we invent reasons why we shouldn’t report it.
Little Kiwi
LGBT Youth suicide numbers haven’t actually gone up. They’ve been disproportionately high for decades. It’s only in the last year that the rest of the world finally started to give a fuck.
kylew
@Kev C: Kev, nobody is for one second suggesting that society does not take LGBT suicide seriously, but constant affirmation to other kids that suicide is the best reponse to their negative feelings, real or imagined, is ludicrous. Suicides are not reported out of civic duty – the are reported because it tugs on the heartstrings and sells newspapers or draws web traffic.
Perhaps if we pushed for greater coverage of LGTB success stories, it might help to affirm the positive messages, instead of dwelling on the negative.
Michael
I disagree I think by putting the spotlight on these sad tragedies that it brings more awareness and importance to the issue at hand.People NEED to hear about this and read about this… especially the bullies and bigots who are responsible for these tragedies occurring in the first place.
@kylew:
I do agree that it would be more beneficial to push for more positive and inspiring LGBT stories especially so that can be brought to the forefront and possibly reach those who are out there struggling who think there is nothing left and no where to turn. By seeing the positive results and achievements of people who were in that same position and in that same dark desperate place as these unfortunate individuals continue to be it puts a more positive light on the situation and ultimately hopefully gives those troubled individuals hope.Hope that the evidence of these people who were in the SAME place as them were able to turn it around and turn it into something positive will then give them hope for a better and brighter tommorrow.Solely my opinion.
Cam
Oh please,
The right wing doesn’t want our suicides reported because they want to present gays as the aggressors and attackers.
So if our suicides aren’t reported it would be like having every gay person go back in the closet. If they don’t hear about us, or about bigotry and bullying, then it must not exist.
Michael
@Cam:
Excellent point.I must say I am also a little shocked and dismayed that someone involved with the Trevor Project would even say these kinds of things to begin with.
Hyhybt
What’s the solution, then? Reporting suicides encourages those on the cusp of killing themselves to go ahead and do it. NOT reporting them leaves the impression that they are rare, isolated incidents rather than a symptom of something larger that needs correcting. What to do, then?
Mike Fourth
Bullycide is a dumb word.
John Smith
I agree with kylew. We clearly need to target depressed queer kids and call them ninnies to their faces. Kids these days just don’t know how to handle adversity.
kylew
@Cam: Yes, that is the dichotomy am, and I wholeheartedly agree. So do we simply consider the additional kids that are pushed to suicide by these reports to be casualties of war?
kylew
@John Smith: Sarcasm aside “John”, and not withstanding the fact that it it is obviously wrong that kids are getting targetted on the basis of their sexuality, do you feel then that gay youth should NOT learn to become resilient for the realities of their lives? That they should NOT learn target hardening, and maybe even self defence whilst awaiting the utopian, bully free world in which they can be as sensitive as they like without any risk?
kylew
@Hyhybt: Yes, indeed – that really is the million dollar question. I think that we need to address the reality of the situation, not our target reality. Right NOW school life is miserable for many kids (and not just gays).
I recall reading advice to gay kids on an official web site somewhere that suggested that if they have any doubts about their parents’ reactions, kids might want to wait until they are financially independent before revealing to their parents that they are gay lest they get kicked out. Prosaic advice like that – painful and sad though it may be – is the kind of sensible, reality based approach that I favour.
Everyone can wish and work towards a better future, but kids need advice that can get them through the next 24 hours. They don’t need to be designated by the adult gay community as poster kids or used as test subjects for everyone’s pet social theories.
Bose in St. Peter MN
McFarland: “As a caring community, we can help avoid making suicide appear like a logical choice by putting distance between statements or stories describing instances of bullying and instances of suicide.”
Note that he doesn’t say, “Don’t report on suicides.” He challenges us to think about *how* we talk about and report on suicide.
If we talk about bullying as if it has the power to directly cause suicide, we do a disservice to struggling, vulnerable youth and adults in our midst. When a person of any age dies by suicide, it essentially always preceded by impaired mental health (which is treatable). It is essentially always preceded by clouded thoughts, not a careful cost-benefit analysis. Irrational thinking takes over.
So, an ugly stew boils over, not just the bullying, leading to suicide.
Some of the messaging worth avoiding: Making heroes of those we have lost; suggesting that suicide is a courageous step to take; implying that youth might accomplish something in death that is better than by living; creating a sense that death will trigger harsh punishment for the bullies; or using bullycide (an awful, awful word).
More helpful messaging: Suicide where bullying may have been a factor (not caused by); memorializing those we have lost by promoting Trevor Project; asking our vulnerable loved ones to please stay with us; promoting the importance of mental health care; reminding ourselves that the Emergency Room is the place to go for heart attacks and feeling suicidal.
After my partner died by suicide a decade ago, part of me wanted to make him into a cause, and also to call out the pastors who rejected him after he came out. (His talents as a church musician were no longer wanted, never mind his 20+ years of experience.) But, my understanding has shifted since studying the issues.
Dan
Sad that the nice people kill themselves while the bullies remain alive to torment and kill others. Perhaps the campaign should be: “At least take the bullies with you, if you feel you have to go.”