The Real Rand

Rand Paul Thinks You Can Now Marry Animals

Rand Paul, the Senator from Kentucky and potential presidential candidate, wants you to think he’s a modern age Republican. Then he opens his mouth. In an interview with Glenn Beck (of course), Paul mused about whether the Supreme Court ruling means that interspecies marriage is now legal.

In response to a question from Beck, Paul wondered whether anything goes now. “But it is difficult because if we have no laws on this people take it to one extension further. Does it have to be humans?”

Just to make it clear this wasn’t a slip of the tongue, Paul elaborated.

“You know, I mean, so there really are, the question is what social mores, can some social mores be part of legislation? Historically we did at the state legislative level, we did allow for some social mores to be part of it. Some of them were said to be for health reasons and otherwise, but I’m kind of with you, I see the thousands-of-year tradition of the nucleus of the family unit. I also see that economically, if you just look without any kind of moral periscope and you say, what is it that is the leading cause of poverty in our country? It’s having kids without marriage. The stability of the marriage unit is enormous and we should not just say oh we’re punting on it, marriage can be anything.”

Paul later walked back his statements, saying “I don’t think it will be with multiple humans, and I think it will be human and human.”

Paul’s comments should be a reminder that folks who hold him up as our libertarian liberator should have their heads examined.

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  • Polaro

    I’m fully in favor of Rand Paul marrying a monkey. The trouble would be telling them apart.

  • BlogZilla

    I’m fully in favor of Rand Paul marrying an ass. The trouble would be telling them apart.

  • MikeE

    If Paul Rand is allowed to marry anything he wants, it will destroy my marriage, and it will bring about the end of civilization. Think of the children! Dear god! Think of the children!!!

  • Shadeaux

    Well, if someone married him, the animal bridge has been crossed.., or is he upset because he wants exclusivity in that department?

  • Paul F

    Hey Rand, news flash here, humans ARE animals. Although some may be considered vegetables on the way to becoming minerals. P.S. Tell King Solomon that he’s got to dump all those wives and concubines because it’s ALWAYS been one man and one woman according to all the wingnuts wailing and moaning about marrage.

  • itzallan

    People such as Mr. Paul who so unabashedly pull out the marry-your-pet card as a reaction to marriage equality obviously have no qualms about advertising the fact they don’t know the difference between marrying a human and marrying an animal (of the non-human variety). And they’re allowed to get married?

  • Dionte

    Good luck on that campaign.

  • msfrost

    You always could, there is no law against it.

  • whatisthis

    You know the worst thing about this guy? So many of his supporters actually believe he and his father are Libertarians. HAH!

  • LaTeesha

    That be one crazy dude.

  • dvlaries

    Did some poor, mentally-challenged animal propose to Randy?

  • hyhybt

    If that’s what floats his boat, he can have the whole ark.

  • Eiswirth

    His mother obviously fucked an orangutan then gave birth to him. What an illiterate moron.

  • 2eo

    @whatisthis: Their is literally not one Libertarian who is not an utter cretin, not one.

  • Harley

    @2eo: It’s “there”, not “their”. You must be a product of ” no child left behind”. You got left behind. Sry.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    Marrying our pets is banned to both heterosexuals and LGBT, so there is no inequality.

  • Philip

    I’ll gladly marry my dog. He loves me unconditionally, never complains, and doesn’t piss in the bed (you know who you are).

  • Thomathy

    Someone suggested that it was a ‘what’ that Rand Paul wants to marry, namely his copy of Atlas Shrugged.

  • Rock Star

    This guy is nuttier than his father, and that’s saying a lot.

  • hyhybt

    @1EqualityUSA: Careful with that. It sounds too much like “marrying someone of the same sex is prohibited for straight and gay people alike, so there’s no inequality.”

  • gaym50ish

    The toughest part is training your dog to say “I do.”

  • 1EqualityUSA

    gaym50ish, Or getting a turtle to come out of her shell!

  • crazycorgi

    Considering that Rand Paul is such a huge ASS it only makes sense that all he thinks about is having sex with animals. Persons as ignorant as himself only adds fuel to the fire of showing how out of touch with the real world republican politions are. Hopefully the old senile white people who vote this Asshats in die off soon.

  • Kangol

    Dear Rand Paul, sorry but you cannot marry a horse, though you are an ass.

    But no, DOMA and the overturning of PropH8 do not mean your canine, feline, equine, bovine and interspecies nuptial fantasies are legal.

    You’ll just have to stay married to Mr(s?) Paul and fantasize to your sick heart’s desire.

    You could marry Rick Santorum or Mitch McConnell, though, but not in Pennsylvania (yet) or Kentucky (probably not anytime soon, but who knows?)

  • jack512

    Like Rick Santorum this guy is another hard right wingnut who really is an animal lover. LOL!!! Watch these guys PETA.

Comments are closed.