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The Real Rand

Rand Paul Thinks You Can Now Marry Animals

Rand Paul, the Senator from Kentucky and potential presidential candidate, wants you to think he’s a modern age Republican. Then he opens his mouth. In an interview with Glenn Beck (of course), Paul mused about whether the Supreme Court ruling means that interspecies marriage is now legal.

In response to a question from Beck, Paul wondered whether anything goes now. “But it is difficult because if we have no laws on this people take it to one extension further. Does it have to be humans?”

Just to make it clear this wasn’t a slip of the tongue, Paul elaborated.

“You know, I mean, so there really are, the question is what social mores, can some social mores be part of legislation? Historically we did at the state legislative level, we did allow for some social mores to be part of it. Some of them were said to be for health reasons and otherwise, but I’m kind of with you, I see the thousands-of-year tradition of the nucleus of the family unit. I also see that economically, if you just look without any kind of moral periscope and you say, what is it that is the leading cause of poverty in our country? It’s having kids without marriage. The stability of the marriage unit is enormous and we should not just say oh we’re punting on it, marriage can be anything.”

Paul later walked back his statements, saying “I don’t think it will be with multiple humans, and I think it will be human and human.”

Paul’s comments should be a reminder that folks who hold him up as our libertarian liberator should have their heads examined.

By:          John Gallagher
On:           Jun 26, 2013
Tagged: , , , ,
    • Polaro

      I’m fully in favor of Rand Paul marrying a monkey. The trouble would be telling them apart.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BlogZilla

      I’m fully in favor of Rand Paul marrying an ass. The trouble would be telling them apart.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE

      If Paul Rand is allowed to marry anything he wants, it will destroy my marriage, and it will bring about the end of civilization. Think of the children! Dear god! Think of the children!!!

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shadeaux

      Well, if someone married him, the animal bridge has been crossed.., or is he upset because he wants exclusivity in that department?

      Jun 26, 2013 at 7:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Paul F

      Hey Rand, news flash here, humans ARE animals. Although some may be considered vegetables on the way to becoming minerals. P.S. Tell King Solomon that he’s got to dump all those wives and concubines because it’s ALWAYS been one man and one woman according to all the wingnuts wailing and moaning about marrage.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 8:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • itzallan

      People such as Mr. Paul who so unabashedly pull out the marry-your-pet card as a reaction to marriage equality obviously have no qualms about advertising the fact they don’t know the difference between marrying a human and marrying an animal (of the non-human variety). And they’re allowed to get married?

      Jun 26, 2013 at 8:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dionte

      Good luck on that campaign.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 8:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • msfrost

      You always could, there is no law against it.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 9:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • whatisthis

      You know the worst thing about this guy? So many of his supporters actually believe he and his father are Libertarians. HAH!

      Jun 26, 2013 at 10:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LaTeesha

      That be one crazy dude.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 10:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries

      Did some poor, mentally-challenged animal propose to Randy?

      Jun 26, 2013 at 10:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt

      If that’s what floats his boat, he can have the whole ark.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 11:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eiswirth

      His mother obviously fucked an orangutan then gave birth to him. What an illiterate moron.

      Jun 26, 2013 at 11:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 2eo

      @whatisthis: Their is literally not one Libertarian who is not an utter cretin, not one.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 3:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Harley

      @2eo: It’s “there”, not “their”. You must be a product of ” no child left behind”. You got left behind. Sry.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 5:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1EqualityUSA

      Marrying our pets is banned to both heterosexuals and LGBT, so there is no inequality.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 8:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Philip

      I’ll gladly marry my dog. He loves me unconditionally, never complains, and doesn’t piss in the bed (you know who you are).

      Jun 27, 2013 at 9:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thomathy

      Someone suggested that it was a ‘what’ that Rand Paul wants to marry, namely his copy of Atlas Shrugged.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 10:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rock Star

      This guy is nuttier than his father, and that’s saying a lot.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 1:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • VitaVagabonda

      “An Act to Promote Marriage Equality and Affirm Religious Freedom” (http://unavitavagabonda.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/marriage-equality) and “Why I Favor Marriage Between Conservative Christians” (http://unavitavagabonda.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/conservative-christians-marry). P.S. Rand Paul is a terrifying maroon.

      Jun 27, 2013 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt

      @1EqualityUSA: Careful with that. It sounds too much like “marrying someone of the same sex is prohibited for straight and gay people alike, so there’s no inequality.”

      Jun 27, 2013 at 2:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gaym50ish

      The toughest part is training your dog to say “I do.”

      Jun 28, 2013 at 4:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1EqualityUSA

      gaym50ish, Or getting a turtle to come out of her shell!

      Jun 28, 2013 at 10:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • crazycorgi

      Considering that Rand Paul is such a huge ASS it only makes sense that all he thinks about is having sex with animals. Persons as ignorant as himself only adds fuel to the fire of showing how out of touch with the real world republican politions are. Hopefully the old senile white people who vote this Asshats in die off soon.

      Jun 29, 2013 at 7:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kangol

      Dear Rand Paul, sorry but you cannot marry a horse, though you are an ass.

      But no, DOMA and the overturning of PropH8 do not mean your canine, feline, equine, bovine and interspecies nuptial fantasies are legal.

      You’ll just have to stay married to Mr(s?) Paul and fantasize to your sick heart’s desire.

      You could marry Rick Santorum or Mitch McConnell, though, but not in Pennsylvania (yet) or Kentucky (probably not anytime soon, but who knows?)

      Jun 29, 2013 at 10:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jack512

      Like Rick Santorum this guy is another hard right wingnut who really is an animal lover. LOL!!! Watch these guys PETA.

      Jun 30, 2013 at 6:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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