A new Reddit threads asks the question: Why do straight guys joke about gay sex so much?
User tongmengjia writes:
I’m sure this has been brought up before, but I’m curious: do any other guys think it’s so weird how often “straight” masculine men make jokes about cuddling, making out, giving each other blow jobs, f*cking each other in the ass, etc.? I mean, I totally used to do it, too, before I was aware of my wonderful and diverse sexuality, but now that I’m aware of and embracing of my bi-ness, it just seems so . . . out of place. How does everyone else feel about it/ deal with it?
Let’s check out some of the responses…
“For some, it’s a form of trolling,” one person writes. “The goal is to get your male friend to lose their cool without actually hurting them … If they are weird about sex or emotional intimacy with other men, then the jokes head in that direction.”
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“It’s an uncomfortability thing,” another person adds. “I think it’s because being f*cked by a guy is the most psycho-physically vulnerable position they could imagine and it makes them feel uncomfortable and a lot of people deal with that stuff with humor.”
Some people say cracking gay jokes is a positive thing:
“I think that it helps to normalize homosexuality,” one person explains. “Sure some people go to far and are just bigoted, but some people also go to far the other way and just can’t take a joke.”
He adds, “Making homoerotic jokes with my male friends helped me to realize that I was bisexual in the first place. When they still felt comfortable to make the same type of jokes with me and be the same people around me after I came out to them I felt really accepted and loved.”
Another person writes, “It’s simple math, really: Dicks = Funny Straight sex = 1 dick Gay sex = 2 dicks 2 dicks > 1 dick Gay sex = Funny x 2.”
And a third person says: “Honestly is everyone going way to in depth with this. … Straight boy humor doesn’t have deep set psychological background, it’s just straight boys being straight boys.”
Others feel it’s the symptom of repressed homosexual desires:
“Honestly it likely has to do with being uncomfortable with some part of their sexuality that isn’t 100% straight,” one person pontificates.
“Because they’re so uncomfortable with their sexuality that they have to make everyone around them uncomfortable by being a blatant homophobe,” another adds.
“Sexual ‘victor’ over another man is seen as a greater victory than that over a woman,” a third person writes. “It’s because men value men more than women according to patriarchy. Sex and Power. Read Foucault.”
Then there’s this little gem: “Straight guys are so weird sometimes. Particularly the ‘bro’ kind.”
Why do you think straight guys joke about gay sex so much? Share your thoughts in the comments section below…
Brody
A better question would be:
Why are the good people at Queerty so fixated on straight men?
Heywood Jablowme
Only one of them is fixated!
scotshot
Either someone is into it or it draws a lot of viewers, or both.
Juanjo
Why are you so fixated? You show up and comment on every article. Negative of course but that is typical for you.
Brody
Juanjo –
I come here in hopes of getting closer to you, Juanjo.
I thought you’d have figured that out by now.
Call me.
202.555.3414
Josh447
Or the question might be, why do you have such a problem talking about str8 guys.
Xzamilloh
I think Graham is just being a troll at this point, at which I can only tip my and commend him on his persistence.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Stop shaming Graham! He’s allowed to be sexually into bisexual men (perhaps even exclusively), isn’t he?
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Fück I accidentally edited out the point/joke that made it relevant to the “straight” guy thing..doesn’t matter now : (
But he his lowkey obsessed by bi men too tho (next best thing?)
Paco
He probably goes limp if they say they are anything other than “straight”.
Ari Gold
When I was in sixth grade, a group a guys used to make gay jokes all the time. Especially with me, knowing I was gay. We’d be at recess and they would pretend humping me. One of them even joked about how I should give him a BJ and I actually thought he was serious. So I literally got on my knees. He just laughed it off.
BriBri
Pro tip: straight men and a dirty hole is expected.
Jaxton
The idea of straight and gay identities was invented by liberals as part of this late 20th century trend towards identity politics. It tends to distort how we think about things.
Nature says that men are highly sexed creatures, far more sexed than women. The stigma placed on male homosexual desire by women creates an oppressive atmosphere for male sexuality in general. Humor is how men deal with it.
hithere2
Help! I just realized that I’m not gay but rather the victim of a late 20th-century liberal trend! At least I’m glad I’m a man, because that means I have a higher sex drive than women. Yay!
Tobi
Hey Brian, still got your mummy issues, huh?
DCguy
I love it when Brian comes on here with his false cries of “Oh golly gee, there’s no such thing as gay or straight, men want sex with ANYBODY!”.
That’s funny, if there’s no such thing as gay, then a WHOLE LOTTA guys out there over the last few hundred years much have felt like getting brutalized and being second class citizens for some OTHER reason? LOL Fool.
Josh447
The humor is based in embarrassment and is an all male scene. Women have zero, nada to do with it, though maybe in rare instance, a weak blaming mama’s boy was teased by his mother and can’t get over it.
Josh447
The humor is based in embarrassment and is an all male scene. Women have zero, nada to do with it, though maybe in rare instance, a weak blaming mama’s boy was teased by his mother and can’t get over it.
Daniel-Reader
Because society doesn’t widely teach how to navigate intimacy between same sex partners – dating rituals, courtship, plain old roll-in-the-hay one night stands, etc. – so guys don’t have the same comfort level they have with different sex rituals and courtship. Notice how most depictions of same sex relationships – bi or gay – are either chaste or hop into bed – everything in-between is missing from the storytelling, things like holding hands, who asks who out, how do you deal with rejection including violent rejection, how does the relationship progress, how do dynamics work between guys with different personality types and goals, how do breakups work, etc. There is only so much extrapolation that folks can do between male-female interactions and male-male interactions. I think that missing info in mainstream storytelling leaves a lot of guys in a lurch when it comes to process their own feelings.
Heywood Jablowme
hmmm…. That actually makes a lot of sense. Interesting comment.
DCguy
Interesting comment! Not sure I agree with 100% of it, but really makes a lot of sense in the intimacy part!!
Josh447
Very well thought out. The more visible we are the more I would hope those gaps will fill in.
Jaxton
You are projecting from male-female courtship rituals to male-male. They are 2 completely different dynamics, not because of a decision by anybody but because of Mother Nature.
Mother Nature determined that courtship rituals betwern men are superfluous as both individuals have compelling sex drives that don’t need convincing. Women do not have the same compelling power in their overall sex drives, and thus need convincing.
Porn’s depictions of female sexual behavior are manufactured by prostitutes and their pimps, and are not natural in the way males are.
DCguy
Or they may do it for the exact same reason that KKK members would joke about sleeping with black people. A form of bigotry.
But of course for this author, everything seems to be about closet cases who label themselves “Straight”.
crowebobby
The same reason guys in combat joke so much about getting killed (You’re going home in a body bag and so on.”) To make something scary, (they themselves possibly have gay desires) funny.