A 38-year-old gay man recently wrote Slate’s “Dear Prudence” advice column asking whether he’s morally obliged to tell a female co-worker that her barely legal 18-year-old son is appearing on an adult cam site.
In his letter, he writes:
“A few months ago, I found the stream of an 18-year-old guy whose routine I liked a lot. “Cam” quickly became one of my favorites, and I always tipped generously whenever I saw his show. He didn’t show his face, but his bio mentioned that he’s a high school senior who lives in the same metropolitan area as me and likes daddies….
Cam’s voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. He talked about wanting to show his face on camera, and one night he did. I was shocked when I realized he was the son of my co-workers. I’ve known him since he was about 14 via various “family night” activities sponsored by my employer. Cam has always been out and proud, and now that he’s of legal age, he’s clearly decided he wants to be very out.”
The advice seeker added, “I want to make it clear that I’m not looking for permission to ask him out, have sex with him, be his sugar daddy, etc.” Instead, he’s worried that the young man might be “setting himself up for trouble down the road, as I know that people record webcammers and post the videos all over the internet.”
He also said that he has stopped watching the young performer as the idea of someone so young on display squicks him out a bit.
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To Prudence’s credit, she finds the 38-year-old’s letter a bit squicky too and tells him to keep his trap shut because voicing his disapproval and reservations won’t help anyone.
“You didn’t care about whether the parents of the 18-year-old webcammer you were getting off to knew what he was doing before you realized he was an acquaintance. Nothing’s changed….
You’d just be letting him know you don’t respect his boundaries or the implied circle of discretion that surrounds both the streamer and the stream-watcher. Find someone else to watch whose parents you don’t know, continue to tip generously, and move on.”
Indeed, as well-meaning as the 38-year-old might be, his letter is a tad ageist and assumes that the young man doesn’t know how the internet works. In this day and age of widespread sexting, who hasn’t considered that their sexy times won’t resurface at some later date? Luckily, fewer and fewer people seem to care, unless you’re running for public office (and sometimes not even then).
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Good on him! There are different interpretations of earning a living by working hard….
Aires the Ram
Busy-body needs to get ‘busy’ somewhere else. The kid is 18 years old and therefore a legal adult.
So Busy-body need to shut-up already.
RIGay
Bravo!
Jared MacBride
This “38 year old” has more issues than Time magazine. He needs to keep his mouth shut and get a life.
Guy12345678
Some people feel they need to blab about any and everything. Keep it to yourself! Especially when it negatively affects someone else!
Hussain-TheCanadian
I don’t understand, what’s his “routine” exactly?
So the guy plays with himself on camera? That’s not exactly what comes to mind when I think of Porn, but its much better than prostituting himself on or off of camera.
If he was in actual porn, yeah I’d tell his mother.
CurtisIsTheOne
WHY would you tell his mother if he WAS doing porn? Frankly, it’s none of your business and not likely to do ANYONE any good. If you want to be the morality police, I’d start by policing my OWN conduct. Stay out of anyone else’s business, idiot.
Jack Meoff
It’s a bit hypocritical that he has concerns about the boy’s youth and that he may make wrong choices or get exploited online but didn’t have these concerns before he realised he knows him. He sounds like a predator who only preys on strangers but draws the line at people he knows.
Doug
Seriously? If the kid doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s doing, why would the guy go and tell his parents? He needs to mind his own business.
winemaker
Answer to this question is simple: Mind your own damned business, period.! Who appointed yu moral police? Really what’s the purpose of blabbing this information? BTW. This just might get you fired from your job so keep your F****N mouth shut and who really cares?
winemaker
Answer to this question is simple: Mind your own damned business, period.! Who appointed yu moral police? Really what’s the purpose of blabbing this information? BTW. This just might get you fired so keep quiet.
Chris
It’s none of her business. He is an adult. Period.
ruffmarine
On one hand the guy watching the 18 yr old is intrigued and enticed till he discovered it was a child of a coworker. Then all of a sudden he claims he was creeped out by watching someone so young. Spare me please. This was so blatantly hypocritical how he responded and NO he should not tell the parents, I feel if anyone tells the parents it should be the young man and ONLY if he chooses to. Don’t get involved and furthermore if I was the parent, I would automatically assume this guy was watching chicken porn. Just saying it goes both ways!
michel_banen
So as long as everything is anonymous it’s all okay but as soon as you realise who you are watching you are concerned ? Mmm….. double standards….. And then telling the mom and taking away the boy’s income that he seems to have found volountarily wouldn’t be good either. The guy is 18, the other guy 38. Well, “nothing to see here” and move on.
jcoberkrom
The 18 year old gentleman is an adult and has a right to his body, his occupation and his information.
If this older man is concerned about his co-workers son contact the son.
Sex work is quite legitimate, but seems to have more dangers ( eg. drugs, stalkers, judgemental people) then a lot of other jobs.
Roan
LOL, yeah. Tell your COWORKER that you saw her 18 year old jerking off online and you know this because you were watching him while jerking off. See how that works out for you.