Last week we stumbled onto an inspiring story of a father who unintentionally read his 13-year-old son’s Google search history and found out he was gay.
He turned to Reddit, where he received an outpouring of support and guidance, and in turn handled the situation with impressive sensitivity. Since our own stories so often veer from this ideal, it’s heartwarming to know there are parents like this one out there raising LGBT youth.
After the overwhelmingly positive response he received from strangers online (though he does say there were more than a few homophobic messages as well), our mystery Dad — Reddit user HeMeYou — decided to do an “ask me anything” on the site to field any more questions or curiosities about his experience with his son.
Here’s what he had to say:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Did your son ever tell you more about the boy from French class?
Haha he did, I asked him about it a few days after he came out. I find it really cute when teenagers have relatively ‘innocent’ crushes so I couldn’t contain myself and acted like a little school girl when he was talking about him.
Is your son aware of the viral post? What does he think of the whole situation?
He is aware. He told me it was “funny” that it became so popular.
How has your son’s mood been since the conversation?
His mood has improved a ton. He just seems so much happier and cheerful. It also makes me happier to see him that way.
Did you tell your son about your experiences with guys when you were a teenager? If not, it might help him to hear that. Or he might squirm and say “Ew dad, let’s not go there.” Which would be kind of adorable.
I haven’t told him, yet. He is aware of the posts, I don’t think he has read them yet, but he is pretty clever when it comes to computers and I’m sure with a few keyword specific Google searches he can find the posts, in which case, he will know.
I don’t think I’ll tell him, not until he turns 16 or 18 at least (my experiences were purely physical), but if he asks about it I’ll let him know.
I kind of want to know about these experiences now… And if you’d ever swing back around.
Well you know, I was about 16 or so and experimenting in sexuality was kind of a fantasy of mine, so I tried it out with a few guys and I genuinely enjoyed it.
I still see some guys as being attractive and even ‘hot’ and I suppose I could picture myself having a physical relationship. For some reason I’ve never been able to picture myself having a romantic relationship with a guy though.
Did you notice that [your son] was gay before you saw his history pop up? Or was it a bit of a surprise for you?
I don’t want to play to the stereotypes but I did notice a few attributes that some might consider gay-ish.. Regardless it was still a bit of a surprise.
Are you afraid of him being bullied? Since there are so many gay guys being bullied in high school?
We live in the south, and the south is relatively known, for the most part, to being against homosexuality, so it is a fear especially as he moves into high school, but I hope it won’t be an issue.
Has your son since learned how to clear his search history?
Haha I think he has always known, he just let down his guard for a while.
Note: the photo attached to this post is not the father and son from the story
Aromaeus
Of course the thirsty gays wanted to know if he still slept with men. 1 track minds.
Thankfully my mom is not very good with computers at all. However it was my siblings who were always stumbling on things and would conveniently bring it up when we got into arguments.
Harley
@Aromaeus: Good thing there were no computers when I was a kid.
blondeboyz
@Harley: LOL Yeah me too. But my dad did find my stash of gay porn mags when I was over 18.
Mack
There were no computers when I was young either, but my stash of “muscle” magazines were found. That was pretty much all there was then. Just a bunch of “muscle” guys in G-strings.
fredo777
lol There were computers when I was a kid, but by the time I was into that kinda “stuff”, we were still in the AOL dial-up modem days. I used to looooooove frequenting the wrestling chat rooms, hoping for picture posts with a glimpse of dudes in their tight speedo costume things. Also, I might have “accidentally” ordered the UnderGear + International Male catalogs a time or two. I don’t think my mother ever suspected, though! ; }
jason smeds
I think it’s healthy when straight-identifying men talk about their same-sex experiences. It proves that homosexuality is a normal part of who you are as a person, including your development as that person. It’s not something that is “gay”. “Gay” is such an icky word which has become counterproductive to the cause of male homosexuality.
E T
@jason smeds: Gay is great, the word empowers us to self-identify, instead of being classified by our behavior. Homosexual is too clinical, and there’s more to a gay man than the sex he has.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: But you are a frigid, embittered, woman hating shut-in. What do you know about ‘normal’?
Silas Wegg
@Saint Law: Jason Smedds’ misanthropic identity was invented by the radical left media. He was a decent dude before they got a hold him.
If this father is real — and I doubt he is — he’s living vicariously through his gay son. Are he and the mother still married? If so there’s a divorce on the horizon, followed by a reawaking of those dormant homosexual feelings. And with the wifey out of the way, he’ll be free to pursue not only sex but romance with men as well. It’s pretty much a typical case of a married man who comes out in his 40s — WITH A TWIST! He and his son can party together when he turns 21!
Mikah
What a great dad.I wish I had a dad like that when I was a child.
Leonard Woodrow
I think the majority of straight parents have no idea of the heartache and suffering that gay youngsters have to go through; if they did, they would all be more understanding and compassionate.
Of course, there will always be the religiously brainwashed ones that can’t think for themselves … but in the main I think everybody would benefit from an awareness campaign. Starting one should be on the agenda of all governments.
jason smeds
I prefer the word “homosexual” or “same-sex”. “Gay” is a brand word. It’s become a meaningless piece of nothing. People use it to deride others in ways that have nothing to with sexuality. It’s a junk word that was once designed to build the gay brand but is now meaningless.
Here’s another piece of useful information: if I were the father, I would advise the son to stay away from the gay scene. I would tell my son that the gay scene concentrates people and their pathogens, thus creating the perfect environment for the spread of diseases.
I’d say to my son the following: mix with the mainstream.
redzebra1
Is that a photo of the pair?
Biness
@Silas Wegg: @Silas Wegg: Jeez, such blatant biphobia. It continues to appall me that people think a father who identifies as straight but enjoyed some non-romantic same sex experimentation MUST really be gay. Attitudes like that drive people not to be open or truthful, lest they be so branded and judged by bigots.
GayEGO
I had a crush on a neighborhood boy when I was 5 back in 1956 and I fooled around with another boy when I was 7, another when I was 11, another when I was 12, and another when I was 13. I tried making out with a girl a few times but my willy did not wake up. When I fooled around with boys, we didn’t call it anything and then I put it aside until I was in the Navy when I learned more about gays. I came out in 1960, met my lifetime partner when I was 20 in 1962, we married in 2004 when I was 62. Now we are retired and living the American dream.
I like the word same-gender because it is more than just about sex. I shutter when I hear the word homosexual only because I remember the horror stories back in Boise, Idaho during The Fall of 1955 when homosexuals were sent to prison.
GayEGO
Oops, I meant when I was 5 back in 1946.
tdx3fan
@Silas Wegg: Except that he does not identify as gay. He has never identified as gay. His physical relationships with guys were nothing more than experimentation.
Most theories, and I am sure more than enough studies, support the fact that kids will experiment in a variety of different ways, but that does not necessarily reflect their orientation.
A couple of the A-jocks in our school shared how they liked to play around with each other for fun from time to time, and I all of them identified as straight.
pscheck2
It’s interesting to note his dad experimented with gay sex in his youth. However, I sense he equates the physical aspect of it as being o.k. and not branding him as being gay? I don’t follow the distinction between the physical and the emotional involvement with another male because, to me, if you allow yourself to enjoy either or both, you have to admit that M/M is part of your makeup and who you are (IMO). I suppose some might consider this as painting with too broad a brush in characterizing someone as being gay, and they might be right. In either case, his dad is to be congratulated in handling his son’s coming out with fenise and benign humor!
tdx3fan
@jason smeds: But, he can’t mix with the mainstream because their are women there and we all know if you had a son he would be so turned off to the idea of talking to a woman that he would slit his wrist if he was involved in the main stream and a girl talked to him (even if he was straight).
If you want to talk about pathogens… lets talk about pathology cause you could be an entire case study.
tdx3fan
@pscheck2: Except his dad did not experiment with “gay sex” he experimented with other guys. Big difference. Gay sex often includes emotional attachment, getting your rocks off with another dude for kicks does not.
Alan down in Florida
@tdx3fan: Gay sex does not require emotional attachment. Just ask the married Mormon grandfather who shared my bed this afternoon as he has once or twice a week for the past four years. The emotional attachment is the difference between gay love and gay sex.
Alan down in Florida
And we have gay sex not love. His love is saved for his wife.
Wooly
Isn’t this guy’s 15 minutes of fame over yet? Christ, the son is only 13, things change people throughout the teen age years.
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
@blondeboyz: @Mack: Yup. Guilty as charged! Me too, only try your stepdad finding a full stack of Playgirl magazines left carelessly under your bed by the window one day.