Professional wrestler Mike Parrow has a clear message for young LGBTQ athletes struggling with being open about their sexuality — support will find you.
Parrow, who himself is openly gay, battled with his own demons for years, even giving conversion therapy a shot.
Despite working in a profession that is still sorting through a foundation of homophobia, Parrow learned to accept himself. He wants others to take the same journey.
Related: More white-hot photos of newly out beefcake wrestler Mike Parrow
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He told the Washington Blade:
“Your sexuality has nothing to do with your athletic ability. I thought my teammates wouldn’t accept me and I was wrong. Your team will support you.
I came from the sports world of a football locker room where I was an alpha male. The wrestlers at the academy were not of the same sports background.
I wasn’t prepared for all the different personalities. I knew I was gay, but I didn’t want to be.
I was in a new town and I didn’t want people to know. I was scared.”
Nowadays, Parrow is in a long-term relationship and the couple is set to wed later this year.
But there were some dark days that led up to where he is now.
Related: This high school wrestler crushed homophobia and reached the state finals
He continued:
“I was this weird unicorn because I wasn’t part of the culture. The people I met on dating apps were rude, mean and cruel.
I was called closet case, fat, ugly and was shamed for my masculinity. I was terrified, and it pushed me farther into the closet.
A lot of misconceptions can be talked out, but I wasn’t meeting people who wanted to talk. We make villains when we don’t need to make villains.”
There were two people, though, who always accepted him. Parrow’s parents were key in giving him the room to fully express himself — something that can’t be overstated.
“My parents are proud of me and I have been lucky to have had a great experience with them.
I will never understand a parent not accepting their child. Your child is yours, everything else is borrowed.”
Here are some shots of Parrow and his adorable future-husband, Morgan Cole:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bkv7EwEFGso/?hl=en&taken-by=parrow49
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk1SW4Alei2/?hl=en&taken-by=parrow49
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj2be8tl1f3/?hl=en&taken-by=parrow49
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiiLGr9lQtE/?hl=en&taken-by=parrow49
misterjack
Hot couple!
silveroracle
Agreed.
Donston
He does seem uncomfortably obsessed with purporting the idea that gay men can be “macho”. But hyper masculine “daddy bears” are its own gay trope. However, I appreciate him being direct and non-cliche heavy when discussing his struggles and experiences. Feeling no embarrassment about having the entirety or majority of your romantic and sexual fullfillment and contentment not be with the opposite cis gender is probably the biggest struggle for dudes, especially for guys who want to be seen as “real men” and are terrified of being seen as “gay”. So, I do like his commitment to trying to tear that down.
Also, he appears to be another “app victim”. How about people stop giving a sh*t about what people say on these apps and stop tying their egos to people’s responses?
Paco
These guys are all the same. They have to state how discriminated against they are in the gay community because they are so masculine, and after that, almost always say how easy it was for some mean queens to terrify them and push them deeper in the closet.
I’m happy he finally became secure enough with himself to come out, but don’t blame other gays for having stayed in the closet for so long. They aren’t the ones that will fire him from his job, or deny him housing, or beat the crap out of him for not being straight.
Donston
When I mentioned “app victims” I’m talking about all the guys who are complaining that they feel excluded or fetishized because they’re black, Asian, Latino, older, trans, may be a bit overweight , are effeminate or masculine, etc. People need to stop looking for apps and social media to boost their ego, determine their worth and guide them through life.
I also don’t fault “masculine”, “average Joe” gay/homo-leaning men for staying closeted. I did what I had to do in my early twenties and came out, and I was no where near “obvious”. But not only is it the sociological stife but it can also of course be mentally tough. Even professional atheletes have regular guy internalize drama as far as not having a clue what they want or or who they are or what “lifestyle” they want to live, still dealing with residual pain and self-hatred due to past abuse, growing up in super religious or homophobic environments or just the pressures of heteronormalcy. Ultimately, everyone has their own reasons and their own journies. As I’ve mentioned before, the only thing that truly disappoints me is hypocrisy, overt internalized homophobia and men who have legitimate and longterm relationships yet try to keep them as tightly underwraps as possible. Nonetheless, it would be nice if an active NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL or hell, even major tennis or soccer player was openly gay/homo-leaning. But that seems quite a ways from happening.
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Lacuevaman
me think the bear growls too much….perhaps most when he squats to pee.
nitejonboy
They’re both very handsome. Good luck to them.
djmcgamester
Very sweet and with a great message. “Support with find you.” If that’s not a message of hope for some gay teen who feels along then I don’t know what is. And I get the “unicorn” thing. I’m not a part of the “culture” and often feel I don’t fit anywhere. It’s why my closest friends tend to be straight guys.
FTR, my parents were always proud of me and accepting of who I was. All my mom ever wanted was for me to find to right guy to grow old with. People don’t need to know who the next FB is. They need to know they can have a life with someone they love, that even when it’s difficult there’s a bright side coming their way.
some_charge
Toxic effeminacy is the real problem in the gay community. And this man’s story is just another proof of how dangerous it to you gay and bi people.
Donston
Hmm, new name but probably a very familiar poster.
We’re gonna act like effeminate men aren’t often shunned, seen as less desirable, aren’t more frequent victims of domestic violence or rape, aren’t constantly told to be “more like a man” by everyone and don’t frequently seek solice among women and effeminate men simply because they feel they have to for their own safety and ego rather than because they want to. There are a ton of sociological and psychological issues that hamper a good percentage of gay/homo-leaning/queer/whatever men. They can hardly be whittled down to either “toxic” masculinity or effeminacy. Those are basic cop-out explanations more than anything else.
Aires the Ram
Nobody has actually said it in the comments here, but it’s a good thing to remind ourselves of one thing about the gay male so-called “community”; Because of the homophobia in society at large, ever since the ‘gay ghettos’ formed after WWII, gay men were led to believe that they were ‘less than’ “real” men. Over the decades since, the gay male community has struggled with this, from an identity standpoint. Many have done so, to the point that if they learn that some naturally masculine guy, perhaps a construction worker, a truck driver, a sports figure and the like, they have this skepticism that his masculinity is really an “act”, to cover up his (in their mind), truly girlish true self. And……..that is wrong. It’s very pervasive in the gay male community, to this very day. I know, and have known, many gay men, who are/were very masculine, right down to their very core. Because of that, most of them have held very traditionally masculine occupations, such as skilled trades, factory, military, etc. There’s lots of straight guys in those occupations, and the gay guys in them are extremely outnumbered. Up until relatively recent times, a lot of those straight guys were virulently homophobic. So……the gay guys amongst them kept their “secret” to themselves, out of fear of reprisal, which was a very real thing, a very possible thing, in their world, their occupations, in their families. It’s much easier today, with the advent of the internet, profile based web sites, lots of guys who secretly jerk off to guys, but marry women because they’re “supposed to”, are now realizing that they’re not alone. I know I’ve rambled a bit here, but to look askance at a very masculine man, and think to yourself that the masculinity is just an act, is very wrong, and very misguided.
Donston
I agree with most of what you’re saying. But you don’t take into account that there are indeed quite a few gay/homo-leaning men whose masculinity is indeed an act. You also don’t take into account that masculinity has been seen as a prized possession for many gay men for decades. Or that men who are in the least bit effeminate are often bullied and dismissed, even within the “community”. All of this is partly why there’s now a bit of a “masculine backlash”.
All and all, everyone has their cross to bear and everyone has certain issues and sociological struggles. For gay/homo-leaning men who are naturally masculine or simply “straight-acting” there is indeed greater pressures, both inward and outward, to retain a hetero image and/or some sense of heteronormalcy. This is something I dealt with firsthand.
some_charge
Masculinity is the natural state of man. Effeminacy is an act. A heteronormative act of a gay man pretending he’s a hetero woman to better fit into close minded heteronormative view.
eeebee333
I’m just delighted that neither of them manscape.