One of Madonna’s dancers was overheard saying that, when she plays the half-time show, Her Madgesty is “bringing gay to the Super Bowl,” according to the Daily News.
Queerty called up a well placed source in the Gay Mafia and got even more scoop. Here’s ten ways that Madonna will gay up the Straightest Day of the Year:
- Expose one of her bulging pectoral muscles
- Triple kiss with Chely Wright and Rosie O’Donnell
- Demand her waiting room plays the club remix of “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” on repeat
- Hire a dance troupe of barely legal Latinos who all have dated aging pop stars (Casper Smart, Jesus Luz, Brahim Zaibat, etc.)
- Talk thinly veiled shit about “has-been old queens” and “reductive c*nts” in a rap interlude
- Encourage spectators to switch from Bud Light to mimosas
- Dress up as the Wicked Witch of the West. Oh, wait.
- Apologize publicly to both of her estranged brothers (the gay one and the homeless one)
- Comment on how Tim Tebow is “totally f*ckable” while singing “Like A Virgin”
- Perform at the Super Bowl
Sounds like the Sunday after next will be pretty damned gay.
Photo: The Weinstein Company