Mitt Romney:
Same-Sex Marriage: Are you fucking kidding? This kid’s waaay against same-sex marriage. Or, he is today. Romney’s got a long history of flip-flopping on equality. He once promised his Massachusetts supporters that he’d fight for gay marriage. And he did – until he decided he needed to build his conservative base and fought against his own people. Now he claims he always opposed those sinful vows – and even civil unions!: “From day one I’ve opposed the move for same-sex marriage and its equivalent, civil unions.” He’s so gross.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Romney tells it like it is: homos have no place in our military ranks. He told ABC last February: “Don’t ask, don’t tell’ has worked well. We’re in the middle of a conflict. Now is not the time for a change in that regard, and I don’t have a policy posture as to allowing gays in the military to serve there openly.” Do Republican voters count?
Trans-Inclusive ENDA: This is rhetorical, right? Of course Romney doesn’t support a trans-inclusive ENDA. He did, however, once hint that he approves of an employment non-discrimination act that protects gay folk – on a state level, of course.
John McCain:
Same-Sex Marriage: Ah, McCain’s another flip-flopping Republican. Noticing a pattern here? The Arizonian Senator once said he wouldn’t support a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. That’s no longer the case. In fact, he even signed one for his home state.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: McCain claims his military friends told him DADT works, so he’s all about it: “I recently had a conversation with some other military leaders on this issue and their point to me was ‘It’s working, so leave it alone. Generally, overall, it’s working.’” Never mind the fact that perfectly good soldiers are being denied or booted simply because they’re a bit bent.
Trans-Inclusive ENDA: Again, the issue comes down to “special rights,” which McCain doesn’t endorse. Still, we can’t imagine him fighting a state level act.
Ron Paul:
Same-Sex Marriage: Ron Paul doesn’t support gay marriage, but this Libertarian certainly doesn’t approve of any constitutional amendment prohibiting queer ceremonies. Such an act would violate America’s federalism – this is the only time we ever approve of federalism.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Here’s where Paul differs from some Libertarians: he supports closet-cases in the trenches, calling DADT a “decent policy”. He makes sure to point out, however, that it’s not because people are gay, per se: “…If there is homosexual behavior in the military that is disruptive, it should be dealt with. But if there’s heterosexual behavior that is disruptive, it should be dealt with. So it isn’t the issue of homosexuality. It’s the concept and the understanding of individual rights. If we understood that, we would not be dealing with this very important problem.” Does that make sense to anyone else? We’re stumped.
Trans-Inclusive ENDA: Forget the trannies, Paul doesn’t even support an ENDA which includes gay folk. Again, Paul’s not about fucking with the constitution, even if it means giving people equal protection under the law.
Mike Huckabee:
Same-Sex Marriage: Huckabee once likened gay marriage to bestiality and necrophilia. That said, do you think he supports same-sex marriage? No, of course not! He doesn’t support any recognition for gay relationships, unless it’s a pink triangle, or something.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Again, Huckabee isn’t down with gay people. And he’s certainly not down with gays in the military.
Trans-Inclusive ENDA: Seriously? No, Mike Huckabee doesn’t endorse a trans-inclusive ENDA. Unless it’s in hell.
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A billion-bazillion voters are headed to the booths today, including the lavender set such as yourselves. If you’re not planning to vote today, well, you should just stop reading because this doesn’t concern you. Those of you who plan on voting, wish you could vote or get off on Democracy should continue on.
Now, we’re sure you kids have loads on your mind this Super Tuesday, but we can’t address all your civic concerns. Thus, in an effort to cut through some of the bullshit, we’ve broken down the candidates by three issues the gay gods have deemed important.
We’ve organized this by candidate and provided some comment about three key issues: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, hate crimes legislation and, yes, same-sex marriage. We weren’t going to include that one, but decided the Republican camp offers some nuanced views many of you may not realize. So, without further ado, here’s your Totally Mini Extreme Super Tuesday Voting Guide Extravaganza!
Oh, and those of you who think we’re going to know the Democratic candidate later today, read this from Rasmussen Reports: 
emb
Well, I already voted this morning, so fat lot of good this did me! Except–thank you Queerty–for pointing out that GLBTs are better off with EITHER Democrat than they are with ANY republican. And yes, yes, I know that “better off” is wishy-washy to some here, who will not be happy until Rosie is president and the roman catholic church is required by federal law to perform same-sex marriages and like it, damnit, but folks, in real political evolutionary terms (which are in a lot of ways like geological time), it doesn’t make sense to sit on our hands and refuse to play just because we can’t get everything they want. We’re all of us–gay, straight, and neocon–better off with a Dem in the White House, whether it’s named Hillary or Barack. As a Chicagoan to the rest of ya’s, please vote early and often!
arkadin
“presidential race begins today”? dude, i voted over a month ago.
hells kitchen guy
I don’t think you’re telling us anything we haven’t been hearing constantly since last summer. I already voted anyway. Crowded polling place!
Bill Perdue
Both leading Democratic candidates echo what Dixiecrat George Wallace said about state rights vs. civil rights. In this case they claim that the rights to marry or form civil unions are states rights, not civil rights guaranteed by the constitution. Nothing could be clearer – the Democrats oppose our civil right to marry.
Which is not surprising; both of their presidential candidates pander to christian bigots. Obama is associated with Mary Mary, Donnie and McKulkin and the Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, George Bush’s ‘spirit’ advisor and other superstitious gaybashers. Obama’s gaybasing supporters are just bigot chump change compared to Hillary Clintons’. She’s admired by former Senators Brownback of Kansas and Santorum of Pennsylvania, her littermates in a Senatorial bible studies class and by Pat Robertson and Rupert Murdoch of Faux news, who raises money for her.
The Democratic Party gutted ENDA and dropped the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes bill so they wouldn’t be issues in the 2008 campaign. They control the Congress but refused to repeal DADT and DOMA because they don’t have support in their own party. Nothing could be clearer – they oppose us on these questions and will continue to do so after the election.
If you admire candidates who oppose GLBT equality like Obama, McCain, Clinton and Romney and if you support the war, support union busting, oppose socialized medicine, and want to sabotage our standard of living and send the economy into a steeper nosedive with tax cuts for the rich and deregulation of corporate predators then go ahead and vote for one of the lesser evils in the primaries. When one of these lesser evils gets elected you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Next year we may remind you from time to time that your vote helped elect them.
If you want real change then vote for any communist, socialist, labor or other left wing party or for ‘none of the above’ as we do here in Nevada. In addition tens of millions will refuse to vote, disgusted at the latest round of lesser evils to come down the pike.
seitan-on-a-stick
I voted early for Hillary on the L.E.S in New York and there were only old Jewish women and Latinos/Latinas in a very Black part of this neighborhood. A slew of other candidates were still on the ballot which could split the “change” vote. The “Key” is being registered in your district and a US citizen! Hillary-Obama 08. May the better candidate win!
Matt
I voted for the first time. I wasn’t really sure who the gays wanted so I asked my friend and they said vote for the black guy. Unfortunately, after I left the polling place I found out I voted for the wrong black guy, Allen Keyes. Oh well, at least I have the main event to make it right.
seitan-on-a-stick
Barack Obama was just projected to have won the State of Georgia which is 50% African-American. Mike Huckabee caused an upset for Mitt Romney and won the State of West Virginia.
Charley
Voted for Obama in Palm Springs, a land known for LGBT traitors (HRC for Mary Bono fucks).
seitan-on-a-stick
More ABC Primary Presidential projections: Democratic candidate Barack Obama projected to win States of Delaware, Georgia and Illinois (Home State) GOP candidate Mitt Romney held onto Massachusetts, GOP candidate Mike Huckabee wins West Virginia “Caucus” and Alabama, GOP candidate John McCain wins Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois and New Jersey, Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton wins Arkansas, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York (Home State) Oklahoma and Tennessee.
seitan-on-a-stick
Update on ABC Presidential Primary projections: Democratic candidate Barack Obama wins States of Alabama, Delaware, Georgia and Illinois (Home State) GOP candidate Mitt Romney held onto Massachussetts, GOP candidate Mike Huckabee wins Alabama, Arkanasas (Home State), West Virginia “Convention”, GOP candidate John McCain wins Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois and New Jersey and New York, Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton wins Arkansas, Massachussetts, New Jersey, New York (Home State) Oklahoma and Tennessee. Under 30 year-olds underwhelmed the turnout projections, Hispanics went with Hillary and Huckabee takes some of the South leaving Romney a distant third. 39% of New York Black Voters chose Hillary.
Bitch Republic
Clinton wins the largest states. Clinton wins the popular vote. Clinton wins the most delegates. Clinton wins! Go Hillz!
seitan-on-a-stick
The media conned America with this Bamelot bullshit! The Kennedys were rebuked as Massachusetts went for Hillary as did California. We have to stand up to our party and demand that Mrs Clinton be the Democratic Presidential nominee and that Senator Barack Obama become the Vice President. We are ready for her now and he will add to the ticket and become the natural follow-up to what has been a stellar performance by New York’s senator. If Senator Barack Obama tears down his own party to get the nomination with the aid of Misouri Senator Claire McCasskill swing voters will abandon us in droves. The McCain-Huckabee ticket seems certain and this is very dangerous to Gay America and our families. Hispanics, older women and single women decided these election results and will decide the November election. People under 30 underwhelmed the voting booths as over 65 year-olds turned out in big numbers. Hillary won the popular vote, Obama may have won more smaller states, but Clinton is leading in delegates by nearly 100 more having taken the Delegate-heavy New York, California and Obama-predicted New Jersey. We are as mad as hell and we are not going to take these Rovian tactics of the media airwaves to take down our strongest chance of winning back the White House. It is time for Madam President Hillary Rodham Clinton!