Madonna's fans are all sorts of inflamed over her divorce from director Guy Ritchie - and some of them are going downright insane.

It looks like fans — at least the crazed ones — are siding with Madonna over Guy Ritchie as their divorce battle heats up.

Ritchie called security on the set of his new movie “Sherlock Holmes” when a Madonna fan reportedly threatened to stab him to death.

According to Britain’s Sunday Mirror a 16-year-old boy burst onto the set shouting, “I’m Madonna’s biggest fan! I’m gonna kill Guy!”

Indeed! How can this guppie claim to be Madge's biggest fan? You know there's a whole gaggle of older, grayer gays who deserves the title way more.

Who here is surprised by the fact that Madonna and Guy Ritchie had a contract listing rules to abide by during their marriage?

After visiting a counselor two years ago, Madge hung up the contract in the couple's New York home and, if her husband every broke the rules, she would say, "Contract, Guy, contract." Cause that's not annoying at all.

It's a wonder Guy survived this long, especially upon viewing the rules…

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Ooooh, they've gone and done it. After shafting them last week by releasing news of the divorce after the tabloids hit newsstands, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are being paid back by the celeb weeklies with less than favorable reports.

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Though they've yet to confirm, everyone seems dead set that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are calling it quits. While Ritchie will likely fade into oblivion following a potential divorce, rumor has it that Madonna's already found a new playmate: married Yankee Alex Rodriguez.

That is, of course, if you believe tab-rag Us Weekly:

A source tells Us that the $28-million-a-year Rodriguez, 32, has made numerous solo nighttime visits to Madonna, 49, at her spacious home and would sneak out "as late as midnight." Says the source, "All the doormen are talking."

Rodriguez attended Madonna's April 30 NYC concert; the singer sat in his seats at a Yankees game on June 22 (it was the first time she ever was photographed at a Yankees game). Her son Rocco, 7, also sported Yankees gear on June 25 while playing in Central Park.

Oh dear God! Does Madonna have no shame?! She's letting her child wear Yankees gear in New York?! This woman is sick. Someone call child services.

All is not completely blissful in Madonna-land, according to her father-in-law, John Ritchie. Queen Madge and husband Guy Ritchie have allegedly been feuding, but have gone to Los Angeles to patch things up, since it is such a notoriously peaceful town. The elder Ritchie notes that they will probably stay together because of the children if for no other reason. Aw, just like our parents. That is so romantic.

We know you love Madonna, but we still feel a bit guilty about propagating this trashy piece of gossip, even if the source is the AP. We really just wanted to post this photo, which we find hilarious.

Madonna Marriage May Have Had Bumpy Period [AP]

• A Paula Abdul dating show sounds like the perfect televised train wreck we've been waiting for. If there is a God, her dating pool will be filled exclusively with American Idol rejects. [Zap2it]

• The DGA hearts Ang Lee. We'll soon find out how much the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sceinces loves Lee and Brobeback. Oscar noms are out tomorrow. [BBC]

• China does not heart Brokeback Mountain. [BBC]

• A gay Colombian man, currently in Orlando, wants the U.S. to grant him political asylum because of increased homophobia in his native country. But is landing yourself in a state run by George Bush's bro really a step in the right direction? [Miami Herald]

• Guy Ritchie will be best man at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding. We would be super-happy fags if Madonna somehow ends up godmother to the most beautiful baby in the world. [Digital Spy]