Reality Check

10 Things I Learned About Finding True Love from Watching The Bachelorette

There comes a time in every single gay guy’s life when he’ll be faced with the heart-wrenching decision of having to choose between twenty five handsome, successful, charming, well-adjusted, emotionally available bachelors, all vying for our hand in marriage. When it’s my turn, how the hell will I know if he’s the one!?

Luckily, when navigating through lust at first sight and premature marriage proposals, I can turn to reality TV.

The seventh season of the ABC’s The Bachelorette has come to an end, and Ashley Herbert found her match with JP, my personal favorite from the very beginning (but only because I have thing for Jewish guys). The couple is still together after almost a month, which in Bachelor/ette terms, is deserving of at least sharing each other’s STD test results.

And all it took was two reality shows, three contestants choosing to leave of their own accord, one hospitalization, someone getting blackout drunk on the first night, a guy in a creepy mask, a two-faced attention whore, a non-stop tour of Southeast Asia, being called unattractive on national television, and someone coming back—twice! “It was all worth it,” Ashley said as JP put a ring on it. In the end, there were even some leftovers for Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Who says modern romance is over? Here are the ten most valuable lessons I learned about finding true love from watching this season of The Bachelorette (plus shirtless pics of all the hot contestants):

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  • wtf

    What a bunch of douchebag whores.

  • phallus

    Ya think? Wish Bravo would bring back Boy meets Boy or the reality show where the woman had to pick between 3 guys, one or two may be gay. That’s real reality. :)

  • Thomas

    What about a lesbian show for the ladies? Or is that The L Word?

  • Bootsiegee

    I am sorry but what in the world is a recap of The Bachelorette doing on Queerty. Please don’t say it is to look at shirtless men, there are other sites that do it much better. This show panders to straigh America’s stupidity with it’s contrived “dates” and totally manipulated drama. Not only have they never cast a minoirity, they have a terrible track record when it comes to successful relationships. I think two marriages after 22 seasons. Come on Queerty you can do better.

  • Tony


    “This show panders to straigh America’s stupidity with it’s contrived “dates” and totally manipulated drama. ”

    Yep because GAYS just hate that.

    BTW, you couldn’t pay me to watch this show.

  • alan Balehead

    this show is so crap!!! equal rights now!

  • STudent

    I hate how freaking white that show is. I don’t think a single person of color has been on the show for multiple seasons

  • Alex Sarmiento

    There hasn’t even been a Bachelor or Bachelorette who wasn’t white. Not even a biracial one. It’s the most “straight white people” show on television… apart from American Idol.

  • Guillermo3


  • MikeE

    this article was VERY funny with the leitmotif of “(pictured shirtless)”… I chuckled every time.
    because, come on, other than seeing the dudes shirtless, why bother watching this show?

  • Scott

    I watch every episode because I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

  • Meowzer

    I LOVED that show!! That’s one I wish would come back.

  • Brooks Shankles

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  • Brady Halgas

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  • Luba Jessamy

    Thank you for this interesting article. i have been stucked in londen because of the ash cloud

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