Reality Check

10 Things I Learned About Finding True Love from Watching The Bachelorette

There comes a time in every single gay guy’s life when he’ll be faced with the heart-wrenching decision of having to choose between twenty five handsome, successful, charming, well-adjusted, emotionally available bachelors, all vying for our hand in marriage. When it’s my turn, how the hell will I know if he’s the one!?

Luckily, when navigating through lust at first sight and premature marriage proposals, I can turn to reality TV.

The seventh season of the ABC’s The Bachelorette has come to an end, and Ashley Herbert found her match with JP, my personal favorite from the very beginning (but only because I have thing for Jewish guys). The couple is still together after almost a month, which in Bachelor/ette terms, is deserving of at least sharing each other’s STD test results.

And all it took was two reality shows, three contestants choosing to leave of their own accord, one hospitalization, someone getting blackout drunk on the first night, a guy in a creepy mask, a two-faced attention whore, a non-stop tour of Southeast Asia, being called unattractive on national television, and someone coming back—twice! “It was all worth it,” Ashley said as JP put a ring on it. In the end, there were even some leftovers for Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Who says modern romance is over? Here are the ten most valuable lessons I learned about finding true love from watching this season of The Bachelorette (plus shirtless pics of all the hot contestants):