Today in WTF news, a contestant on Naked and Afraid seriously injured his phallus.
Again.
His name is Sam Mouzer, a mental health counselor and military veteran from the UK, and his appendage just might have the worst luck in the world.
How about we take this to the next level?
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For the uninitiated, the Discovery Channel reality series follows groups of survivalists fending for themselves in the wilderness for weeks at a time, billed as “the ubiquitous survival show” stripped down to its “bare essentials.”
(Obviously, they’re naked for its entirety, with the help of some pesky blurs!)
Unfortunately, that means players’ “twig and berries” are exposed to, well, actual twigs, berries. And for Mouzer apparently, bugs.
After competing on the show last year, the 39-year-old returned for the supersized Naked and Afraid XL, currently airing Sundays on Discovery and available to stream on Max.
And with nothing but his birthday suit in the Colombian wilderness, he reveals the worst has happened in a preview of this week’s episode.
“Oh no, I’ve got a dick tick,” he whines in the clip, complaining that his member is “not even the biggest target.” LOL.
We’re not gonna lie, the pain looks pretty excruciating and Mouzer paints a pretty good picture of how it feels, telling his mates that it’s “trying to eat away at my helmet.”
Eventually, a medic for the series has to intervene in removing the little friend from Mouzer’s, uh, little friend. (Note to self: always carry tick-repellent.)
But the craziest part of it all is this isn’t the first time Mouzer’s penis has been a topic of discussion on the show. Or a victim of trauma.
During his first excursion in Season 15, he roughed it out in New Mexico with Austrian YouTuber Lilly Jammerbund. Within the first few episodes, he made headlines for encountering some not-so-friendly fire.
While sleeping next to the flames, a hot coal popped from the fire and landed right on, what he called, his “little soldier’s helmet.” Ouch!
Somehow, Mouzer maintained his sense of humor, asking for an extra-large Q-tip after seeing the medic provided a “normal-sized” one.
He also quipped that he’s “gonna look like I got hit with buckshot when I get home,” and we’re still trying to get that image out of our heads.
We’re not gonna lie, the show’s title had us hooked at “naked,” but judging by the chill-worthy trials and tribulations Mouzer’s crotch has gone through, we’re not sure we can stomach it.
Nevertheless, it’s one of the channel’s most popular series, with five spinoffs and 17 seasons and counting. To each their own!
Still, there’s an old adage that says, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” And for the safety of Sam Mouzer (and his nether regions), we think it might be time to call it quits.
Check out more pics of Mouzer, less naked and afraid, below.
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