into the nightlife

7 Possible Names For Greg Gutfeld’s Muslim Gay Bar

We are very excited for the groundbreaking of Fox News host Greg Gutfeld’s new Ground Zero gay bar aimed at Muslim men. So while Greg finds the space, a manager, and secures a liquor license, we consulted with some of the branding industry’s finest experts (read: UrbanDictonary.com) to find out what sort of semi-offensive names he could use to name the place.

Allahu Akbar. Dude, it’s got “bar” in the title. ‘Nough said.

Fag Head. It’s time to take back that terrible “rag head” term and flip it into something equally offensive for the gays. And be realistic: This is exactly the type of name Greg would use.

Zobr & Zubber’s. We’ll pretend those are the proprietiers’ names, but in reality it’s how you’d say “Dick & Cock.” After all, “The Zubber” is already taken.

The Gutter. A semi-eponymous nod to the bar’s owner, it also connotes the feeling of a dive bar, which Greg’s venue most certainly will be. Unless:

Apparently that’s “The Roxy” in Arabic, and wouldn’t it be nice to see the rollerskating mega-club make its grand return in the Financial District?

Duong To Duong. It’s Arabic slang for “face to face,” as in how you meet guys (offline), but to English speakers it conveys the necessary cruise-y message.

R-A-M-Z-I. A basic way to say “gay,” but we can hyphenate it like London’s G-A-Y to be more awesome.

Okay, your turn.