Too close for comfort?

What do you do when you accidentally hookup with your mom’s gay best friend?

What do you do when you kinda sorta accidentally hookup with your mom’s gay best friend? That’s what one young college student on Reddit wants to know.

I’m currently at university studying architecture and my mum has an old friend who is an architect in the same city that I’m living in now. He’s gay and I remember meeting him a few times growing up and being pretty attracted to him.

Of course, he was just a closeted teenager at the time, so nothing ever happened. But now that he’s grown, things are different.

The young man continues:

My mum saw him again recently and decided that I should hang out with him to learn some more about being an architect. I should also add that my parents don’t know I’m gay (as far as I know). He got in touch with me and we arranged to have a drink and talk.

So they met up at the guy’s apartment. Totally fine, right? Until:

After a few hours I was pretty drunk and ended up telling him that I was gay. Although I am attracted to him, I wasn’t trying to get anything to happen, I just don’t have many close friends or anything and I think sometimes it’s hard to keep it in, especially around other gay people.

One thing led to another and, well, they had sex.

“It was honestly really great,” the young man recalls. “Since then we’ve been texting each other and arranging to meet up again this week which I really want to do, but I’ve started to feel kind of weird about things.”

It’s his mom’s GBF, after all.

“He is a friend of my parents and he’s known me since I was a kid,” he writes. “But then on the other hand he’s a cool guy and the sex was great.”

Now, he isn’t sure what to do! Unfortunately, not many of his fellow Redditers have very great solutions. Though they have plenty of commentary.

“If he’s a close family friend whom you’ve grown up with, it means he knew you when you were but a babe,” one person writes, “which is kinda weird, but also… kinda hot?”

Hot?! Um, no!

“The potential for drama here is astounding,” another comments. “Parents discover you’re gay AND sleeping with a much older man with whom they are well acquainted. Like, I cannot imagine the conversation should it get back to them.”

Us neither!

“My mom has tons of gay friends and if I started sleeping with them she would lose her shit!” a third person adds. “We’re not reading erotica here. It may sound hot to us hearing about it from a safe distance but this is a real person, who needs honest and realistic advice!”

Luckily, some people actually had some helpful advice.


“You really don’t need to have any ‘weird’  feelings; you’ve met someone you get along with and had sex,” one person says. “Like the people you like, enjoy your time with them, and be welcomed into our world as a completely normal human being.”

Another writes: Honestly, don’t feel guilty about this. Your sexual relationship with this acquaintance of your parents is between you and him.”

“This person has the potential to be a great confidant as well as a friend with benefits, and not just sexual; he’s a veteran of your chosen field and has experience and connections that could benefit you long term.”

And then there’s this: “At least you know your parents approve of him.”

What do you think about all this? Did this guy just make a huge mistake? Is Mom’s GBF off limits? Share your thoughts in the comments below…

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  • THAT Steve

    Unless he swore a blood oath to tell his parents details about every time he had sex, there’s no need for them to know. If it becomes a long-term stable love relationship, let them know then (and expect short-term drama) but otherwise parents have no need to know who their legal aged children hook up with!

  • Frank

    Isn’t this the theme of many adult movies?

  • stevetalbert

    Maybe the mom thought it would be a good learning experience

    • sheryl_clyde

      you don’t know many mom’s do you? I can tell you right now that they would react with total anger and it would not be directed at their kid.

  • Cinesnatch

    “Of course, he was just a closeted teenager at the time, so nothing ever happened. ”

    UM … wut? As opposed to out teenager?

  • Jack Meoff

    Another bored queen making up stories on reddit for attention

    • gary69mike

      Hahahaha!!! I love it! Yeah and like story about a guy on the hardships of having a big dick. I hought, someone had a little too much time on their hands.

  • flybob

    Hookup is a noun or adjective. You meant “hook up.”

  • gary69mike

    I look at it this way…. it’s not like it’s a 15 year old getting seduced by some old perv.. it’s consensual. If they’re having a good time and no one is getting hurt who cares, have fun!!! My sister was 10 years older than me and I can remember when she was a senior in high school (I was almost 8) and I had a huge crush on one of her friends. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He was VERY good looking and he was a soccer star and I was just starting my “soccer career”. He would play soccer with me and coach me. He left for college and my memories of him faded but every so often I would think about him . When I went to college, I happened to go to a gay bar in the city and this guy and I started chatting each other up. I thought, this guy is looks really familiar and as the night went on I asked him for his number and…. you guessed it… it was my sister’s friend. We left the bar and went to a Starbucks down the street and talked for a couple hours more then… went back to his place (boldly I was the one that suggested that) and had incredible sex. I asked him if he had come out in when he was in high school and his response was, “hell no!” He didn’t come out until after he had finished college (I did come out in high school) and he had a difficult time doing it (long sad story… strained relationship with his family). I asked if he’d been in contact with my sister and he said yes and she knew he was out. So… to wrap this up… we’ve been together for almost three years, my sister and my parents know about our relationship and they couldn’t be happier…. and we’re happy too. We go to NYCFC games and play in a soccer league together… he’s still a soccer stud and still my idol.

  • sheryl_clyde

    I personally would strangle anyone who was a friend that slept with one of my kids i don’t care how old they are. It is a power imbalance and the fact that they have known them as kids makes them a kind of family of sorts especially in the gay community where many of us have been kicked out of our own families and have to create our own. So if it was me that person better start running because not only would they be a ex friend but they would incur my wrath and I am not a nice person when angry.

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