Gay people are often dinged for centering their social lives around drinking. But to some, those now feel like the good old days.
A queer writer in Brooklyn recently published an amusing screed on her Substack from another writer lamenting the ubiquity of rave culture: “This so-called community will not rescue you from a k-hole.”
As one can tell from the title, the tone is tongue-in-cheek. But the post quickly prompted the discourse of the day on Gay Twitter X™.
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At the start of the post, the writer acknowledges they used to love the sound of vibrating beats and smell of musty, musty men.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my fun as a wannabe raver. I’ve stayed on the dance floor, for hours and hours and hours, until the sun comes up and the bar closes down,” they say. “I’ve traveled to other states to rave. I even fell in love at the club with one such proponent of this lifestyle.”
But now, they say they’re “f*cking” tired…despite still being in her 20s! She’s sick of the $50 circuit parties at gentrified warehouses, and annoyed with the prevalence of DJs/dancers/writers/models/content creators. More than anything, she feels like every weekend is queer Groundhog Day, with the same music, same people and same substances.
“It’s not that I don’t want to drink and do drugs… but why doesn’t anyone want to come over for a house party?,” they write.
The post generated hundreds of replies, with many people providing the same piece of advice: make new friends!
I understand this, but also this article just comes off as someone who really just hates raving and that culture in general. and that's fine? like go find another pastime that makes YOU happy!
— Just giggling (@DJNixtamal) April 15, 2024
If your friends are forcing you to go raving get new ones! No need to bash entire sub communities cause the author can't have fun sober
— lina (@cswslina) April 15, 2024
Other folx took issue with the blog’s gratuitous barbs towards the aspiring creative class. “Nothing more cringe than insulting people for being ‘unsuccessful’ in their creative pursuits,” somebody commented.
That’s true, and we encourage everybody to pursue their artistic dreams. But beneath all of the author’s snark, maybe they’re hitting on a larger point?
For many members of the LGBTQ+ community, nightclubs and dance parties aren’t safe spaces. There are multiple barriers to entry, beginning with six-pack abs and very large bank accounts. At NYC Pride, for example, revelers often spend more than $500 for party tickets.
And when non-cis partygoers do scrape together enough cash for admittance, they can feel isolated. A 24-year-old trans service worker told New York Mag last year they worked extra shifts to pay for their ticket. But when they arrived, they immediately wanted to leave.
They say the last straw was when they saw a group of white men spit on their Black trans friend.
“Members of our community are literally paying to see the most marginalized of us get assaulted,” they added.
Promoters pledge their commitment to diversity, but party attendees often don’t reflect that supposed mission.
There’s also the prevalence of drug use, and we’re not just talking about they stuff they did in the 80s. Ketamine, a horse tranquilizer that’s used as a possible treatment for mental health disorders, is now the most popular form of powder on the dance floor.
And DJs say it’s killing the vibe, putting revelers in a zombie-like state.
A DJ in the U.K. tweeted the following last year:
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A new enemy has been infiltrating gay clubs & killing the vibe. What does it mean for Labor Day parties?
Ketamine may be single-handedly destroying the vibe on dance floors, as the detached and dissociative effects contradict what DJs around the world are cooking up.
Another DJ agreed, saying she now asks promoters about the popular substances in their cities so she knows what to expect.
So yes, the article raises valid issues. But others wondered why the tone was so vitriolic. Though gay people are widely accepted in society, it’s still rare to find 100% queer spaces. There are 45% fewer gay bars today than in 2002, and many that still exist are filled with bachelorette parties.
Screaming girlies from the suburbs know how to find the gayborhood, but tracking down the warehouse in an industrial part of town where Ben Böhmer is spinning is a little more difficult.
“There are few spaces you can go and be surrounded by 100 percent gay men and do very gay [stuff] without danger,” a Pride attendee told NY Mag.
Also, going out and dancing can be fun! Let people live!
What do you think? Are raves killing queer nightlife, or should detractors calm down? Let us know in the comments below…
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Diplomat
K and a dance floor?! OMG! Talk about an annoying mix. Though I will say qualudes and champagne produced about the same effect. Everyone on the dance floor was bending to the gumby dance. Total raving mad! Sheer joy.
S.anderson
I have to point out that rave culture is long dead. It lives on in our hearts, but you won’t find the real thing anywhere. The words “rave” and “techno” have literally been appropriated and replaced with something superficially similar, but the music at these “EDM” events is more like that dreadful gay circuit-party schlock. The White Party! The Black Party! The Chartreuse Party! A dance party, but not a rave. Music they call “techno” that is just generally electronic music that isn’t what techno fans think of when they say the word.
Now I think there’s still a bit of hope that these abominations can be turned back to the good side. Original techno and trance is utterly unknown to the zoomers and I think it would be clever to start feeding them a healthy diet of traditional E’s 🙂
still_onthemark
I like the comment “if you know so many dj’s why do you have to pay $50 to get in?”
We had ketamine in the ‘90s, in too-large doses it has… drawbacks.
Kangol2
It was nicknamed Special K then in some quarters and boy, did it knock some people out!
mikhailmaui
Haha, I heard the same question being asked in the mid 90’s. Only differences are we did not have the Tik Tok, Insta influencers and our ecstasy was much better than today’s Mollie.
canadiankid
I still enjoy going out dancing but only when a good trance producer comes to Toronto! I’m pumped for Cosmic Gate on Saturday! If I go to a club that isn’t trance it’s not the same. I need some uplifting beats that take you to heaven and back on the dancefloor.
graphicjack
Drugs, for better or worse, have always been a part of queer nightlife. What’s killed nightlife are dating/sex apps, a weird sexual prudishness among younger queers, the cost of living crisis that makes everything so expensive, straights invading queer spaces, and queers feeling safer in straight spaces. Young people, by and large, no longer see a need to create and support community. They’ll buy ‘Pride’ merch from Target or Amazon, but won’t support local, queer businesses which created safe spaces for previous generations… the generations who fought for the rights they now enjoy. I guess this is ‘progress’… we wanted things to be easier for younger generations to come, but it’s sad that they have largely abandoned the spaces that queers built to keep our community safe.
barryaksarben
The one that bothered me was the one abut needing other people to be more engaged. B have enough ego to not need people around you giving you attention. Like someone else said drugs have been a big part of our community it is social media that has ruined it all. IF you have to go to a bar or a nightclub and have to actually talk to other people and they can talk to you. Back ways back no one ghosted you as you would see them out somewhere. There were a few that would try it but eventually everyone knew who they were and that is where the community. came from.Looking out for your next boyfriend or trick or just looking out for your friends and helping them avoid bad decisions esp if you already had made that mistake. Everyone has had a trick or a guy you might. want no one to know about. but it is now possible to hide everyone. just strange new world and Im glad I had the experiences I did. YEs, we had tricks and one night stands but we also found. good friends and some we had benefits and some we did not – there was a fly by the seat of your pants excitement that seems lacking on the apps
Bruce W
Another story about a generation that thinks world history began with them…