secondhand embarrassment

At this point, Nikki Haley’s longshot presidential bid feels more like an exercise in public humiliation

Nikki Haley

It’s hard to imagine suffering a bigger indignity in politics than losing to literally nobody. But that’s exactly what happened with Nikki Haley, who’s somehow still campaigning and eliciting donations for her futile presidential run.

The ex-South Carolina governor failed to win the Nevada Primary Tuesday, even though Donald Trump wasn’t on the ballot. In fact, there wasn’t a single candidate on the slate besides her.

Still, Haley fell to her vaunted challenger, “None of These Candidates.” More than 47,000 Nevada Republicans voted for nobody, while 22,611 pulled the lever for Haley.

Making matters worse, there were no delegates on the line Tuesday. That happens tonight, when the state’s GOP caucus begins.

In other words, the vote against Haley was purely symbolic. Republicans came out for the pure reason of shutting her down.

“It’s just to send a message,” one voter told the New York Times.

But apparently, the message didn’t compute. On Wednesday, Haley was calling the primary a “scam” and “rigged from the start.”

“None of These Candidates” is known for its dirty tricks, after all!

“It’s such a scam. They were supposed to have a primary. Trump rigged it, so the GOP chairman, who’s been indicted, would go and create a caucus,” she said in a TV interview. “We knew months ago, we weren’t going to spend a day or a dollar in Nevada, because it wasn’t worth it. We didn’t even count Nevada. We knew it was rigged from the start.”

Wow! With an inspiring message like that, it’s hard to imagine Nevada Republicans weren’t excited to support Trump’s very distant runner-up.

Haley’s complaining isn’t just a loser’s lament, however. It is also wrong. The Nevada GOP did not hold onto the caucus as a way to rig the vote for Trump. The issue stems back to a 2021 disagreement in the state legislature over voting access.

Citing dwindling participation, the majority-Democratic legislature transitioned Nevada from a party-run caucus system to state-run primary, according to CBS News. But the GOP was against the transition, arguing the caucus system is more secure. As a result, the Nevada Republican Party is holding caucuses, anyway.

But sure, the primary was rigged for Trump, who again, wasn’t even on the ballot.

Whatever you say, girl!

Fortunately for Haley, she won’t be on the ballot Thursday, preventing her from losing in Nevada twice this week. The 52-year-old insists she’s in the race for the long haul, and focused on the upcoming primary in her home state, South Carolina.

“Our focus is on South Carolina, Michigan, Super Tuesday,” she said. “If you look what we did in Iowa, if you look what we did in New Hampshire, we’re continuing to grow. That’s all that matters.”

If by “continuing to grow,” Haley means “only” losing by 34,000 votes in New Hampshire, then sure! (By the way, in South Carolina, Haley is losing to Trump by more than 30 points–64.7% to 31.3%.)

It’s hard to imagine how she could explain away getting trounced in her home state. But we know she’ll try! The Republican National Committee called on Haley to drop out days ago; and yet, here she is!

We thought Haley’s campaign reached peak cringe right before the Iowa primary, when she refused to say that slavery was the cause of the Civil War.

But she keeps sinking to new lows. Haley sought out to be president, but instead, she’s turning into the Washington Generals.

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