A “straight” guy on Reddit is in a total bind… He can’t stop daydreaming about messing around with another dude.

“OK, so I’ll start with saying I’m not gay,” the post begins. “I’m not attracted to men or ever wanted to have sex with another guy.”

Related: What Exactly Is The Protocol After Hooking Up With A Straight Guy?

Got it. You’re totally, 100 percent not gay. Now, please continue.

“But,” the man says, “I do find other men’s penises a big turn on.”

Wait, what?

“I’ve often fantasized about comparing my penis to other guys,” he confesses, “and masturbating around another guy or guys but never acted on it.”

For someone who’s “not gay” that sure sounds pretty gay to us, but we digress.

“I’d like to know how I could make this a reality, are there any sub-Reddits or sites that cater to this sort of thing?” the man wonders. “I live in Yorkshire in the UK and have been told by females and males a like that I’m a good looking guy (also fairly well hung) if this helps to know.”

“Any of you point me in the right direction?”

Related: “Straight” Dude Walks In On Gay Roomie And Realizes He, Too, Is Homosexual

The advice quickly comes pouring in:

“If what you say is true just make a profile on Grindr,” one person advises. “State what you are looking for and be specific.”

“Use a torso pic,” someone else adds, “and put ‘straight bicurious’ as a headline or something.”

“A good place to start with this is a video chatting site,” a third person suggests. “There are sites such as pinkroulette, manroulette, etc. that let you jack off with other people online. You don’t need to show your face or anything so it’s pretty safe.”

Followed by some taunts:

“First, try admitting to yourself you’re not actually straight,” one person suggests.

“‘I’m straight, but I find other men’s penises a big turn on,'” someone else teases. “1+1=7?”

Related: Straight Man Upset His Girlfriend Won’t Explore His Back Door, Seeks Help From Others

And then there’s this:

“By ‘eck lad, stop faffing about, folk round ear be playing pop when ya vague! … Make sure you’re up front with what you want and don’t lead them on. Lads can just be as bad as lasses for getting attached especially if it starts being more than a one time thing!”

What advice do you have for this guy? Share your thoughts in the comments section below…

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated