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Mike Balaban, a 70-year-old gay historian who runs the LGBTQ storytelling podcast “Bammer and Me”, uses his Instagram to share sizzling pics of himself and his hunky friends from the 1980s onward. Many of the shots show the shores of Fire Island, Mykonos, Rio de Janeiro and various gay enclaves, beaches and parties around the world.
While his images are rife with musclemen and handsome guys in their swimsuits (including numerous pics of himself), Balaban uses their captions to document personal moments of gay history, creating an autobiography filled with friends, lovers and acquaintances. Sometimes, he comments on the changing ways he relates to his sexuality and gay culture. Other times, he recounts more emotional topics, like the friends and lovers he lost to the HIV epidemic or the under-discussed prevalence of sex abuse among men.
As he’s gotten older, Balaban now identifies as demisexual, only feeling sexually attracted toward people he has established an emotional bond with. He still photographs his world travels and hunky strangers at gay events, but his reflections elevate his pics into insightful tidbits that shed light on what it means to be gay in an ever-changing world.
“If I could meet my younger self, I would share two pieces of hard-earned advice,” he wrote in a recent post. “First, gravitate towards those who show they want to be with you, not those who require you to make most of the effort at friendship. Secondly, the most important attribute in a potential romantic partner (after mutual attraction, of course:), and one that’s not so easy to find, is complete honesty/integrity. Make sure it’s present in anyone you give your heart to.”
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ZzBomb
I certainly hope to age a gracefully as he has!
That said, I still haven’t had a Fire Island experience. Is it worth it? Asking anyone who has been or does go?
Gadfeal
I was invited once. 10 people to a house. Hookups all the time. It felt like an open air bathhouse interspersed with an overlay of superficial socializing. Didn’t like the drugs and alcohol induced atmosphere. I never went back.
bachy
I believe the concept of “demisexual” is a legitimate one. But throughout my sexual… er, “career,” I’ve noticed that some men, especially when younger, have a higher hormone level, giving them almost perpetual erections. They are literally “up” for… anyone and anything!
I appreciate how that can come off as uncaring or unfeeling, but I don’t believe that is the correct interpretation. I think it’s just that their natural hormones make them more subject to a kind of sexual overdrive than the average person, making sexual integration more problematic. It’s an animal/biological thing. Their emotions are likely trampled by their hormones, and can only be sorted out (if at all) as they get older and their heightened hormonal activity subsides.
LifeinShaw
I read a few of his posts when he first created the account but grew tired of his constant bragging. He must have had an incredible personality to have bedded some of those hot guys back in the day as I don’t find him attractive at all. But to each his own.
Kevan1
He appears to have had a fun journey, and I hope it continues
Max
I love how his posts have the story to go along with it!