WELL, DUCK YOU TOO

UPDATE: “Duck Dynasty” Star Likens Homosexuality To Bestiality, Says Being Gay Is “Not Logical”

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SECOND UPDATE: A&E network, which broadcasts Duck Dynasty, has finally broken its silence over offensive antigay comments made by the series star Phil Robertson and indefinitely suspended his appearance on the popular program. The company released a statement to the media that reads, “We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series Duck Dynasty. His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

UPDATE: Phil Robertson issued a statement containing a quasi-apology to E! News and, naturally, blames credits the Bible for his homophobic perspective. It reads: “I myself am a product of the ’60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior. My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together. However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”

Earlier we reported:

In an interview from its January 2014 issue, GQ chats with Duck Dynasty patriarch/ornery sonuvabitch Phil Robertson, who reveals himself to be a raging homophobe with thoughts on the gays as unkempt as his beard.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” Robertson tells GQ’s Drew Magary. “That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

You know what’s super illogical? A bunch of squirrel-eating ZZ Top rejects (not a read, just a fact) being proclaimed the most fascinating people of the year — looking at you, Babs Walters. The 67-year-old Bible-thumping born-again Christian then delves into the nature of sin and how his show is a beacon in America’s dark, immoral road to hell:

[I]n Robertson’s worldview, America was a country founded upon Christian values (Thou shalt not kill, etc.), and he believes that the gradual removal of Christian symbolism from public spaces has diluted those founding principles….He sees the popularity of Duck Dynasty as a small corrective to all that we have lost.

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”

What, in your mind, is sinful?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

As Magary points out, it’s not entirely surprising that Robertson holds such radically conservative ideals, which also explains Duck Dynasty‘s “red state” appeal. With such unappealing public comments, however, GLAAD, reached out to A&E to see if the network stands behind Robertson’s world view. Probably not, but A&E definitely stands behind ratings — their one true god.

Anygay. I’m not super familiar with the Bible — I prefer to get my life lessons from repeated viewings of Paris Is Burning — but doesn’t it say somewhere about letting he without sin cast the first stone, or whathaveyou? No tea, no shade (all tea, all shade), but born-again Christians are literally the last people who should tell anyone how to live their lives. They already fucked up once, what the hell do they know?