A 24-year-old woman on Reddit is in quite a pickle. Her fiancé has hooked up with at least three, possibly four other guys behind her back. He doesn’t know she knows. And she’s not sure how to approach him about it.
“Just to give a little background,” the woman’s post begins, “I’m 24 (female) and my fiancé is 25. We’ve been together almost two years. Very early into our relationship he cheated on me with two different girls within a few days of each other, I chose to forgive him and we moved on.”
That sounds like red flag #1 and #2, but we digress.
Related: He Hooked Up With His Straight BFF, Now He’s Not Sure What To Do
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She goes on to say they have a “active sex life” but not quite as active as she would like. At first, she thought nothing of this, until recently.
“He was showing me something on his phone when a message from a guy came up that said ‘okay daddy ;)’,” the woman writes. “He laughed and quickly explained that it was a friend of his just joking around. Normally I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but my gut told me something was off.”
So she did some snooping. She quickly found her fiancé had been sexting with another guy for some time.
“Earlier messages showed that they made plans to meet up for this guy to give my boyfriend a blowjob,” she says. “What alarmed me even more were three other men he had the same conversations with.”
The post continues: “All of the messages were about them giving him head, nothing more and never about him reciprocating. They didn’t even have a cordial conversation, it was literally all sexual.”
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The woman says she’s more confused than hurt over the information, and she’s not quite sure what to do next.
“I have no clue how to approach him about this and it’s such a sensitive subject for him I obviously can’t ask any of our/my friends,” she writes. “I don’t think he prefers men, he was a huge womanizer before we got together, constantly bringing different girls home.”
She goes on to say that several of her gay friends regularly talk about hooking up with straight men.
“So I guess I just need to know whether I should be worried,” she says. “I’d rather not marry someone just for him to leave me for a man a few years down the road.”
We’d say that’s a valid concern.
Related: Straight Guys Sound Off On How Much They’d Have To Be Paid To Hook Up With Another Dude
Now for the responses:
“Either way, doesn’t matter if these are girls or guys, he is not loyal and what is even worse, he is not transparent,” one person says. “Even normal guys don’t joke, flirt and offer blowjobs to their friends. This guy is a red flag.”
Aromaeus
It’ll start with bj’s and the more he gets into it she’ll find him balls deep in some guy one day. She should dump him. I don’t know why people as young as that even forgive this many transgressions. You are going to find someone else who isn’t trash.
charlie_jackpot
Who calls a 25 year old guy daddy? He’s either getting barely legal guys to blow him, or he’s way out of shape for his age
Brian
Receiving head is common among straight-identifying guys. Regardless of how they choose to identify sexually, they won’t pass up an offer of a blow job.
If he’s in a relationship, he shouldn’t be fooling around, however.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Alright heifer, this is what you need to do:
You need to tell him that you want to have rough sex tonight, cuff his ass to the bed, ball gag his mouth, and go over the evidence one by one.
Remove the ball gag, and tell him now he can speak. Every time he tells you a lie, you slap him. Tell him you’re not his b*tch, and you’re not going to take his shit.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Brian: Are you saying you give your straight friends BJ’S?
Chris
DTMFA
TheGayestOfThemAll
From what I can tell, he’s merely a cheating scumbag who just so happens to be bisexual. Standard protocol is the same as it would be if he was straight; drop him like a hot rock.
Terrycloth
He’s after blowjobs..learn how to give a good one.oh yeah women hate that
Paco
@Terrycloth: Can’t really blame them for not wanting to do it. straight guys tend to be hygienically challenged in that area, front and back.
Craig
She knows he has cheated on her with a minimum of 6 people (2 girls, 4 guys) within the past two years and she needs to ask the Internet what to do?
CaliKyle
At what point did this woman catch her man cheating with guys? From the info she provided it seems she merely caught him sexting with guys. There is a difference and no, same sex sexting does not a bi boy make.
Guy068
@TheGayestOfThemAll: Exactly, dude. Assuming they’re in a committed relationship and have agreed to monogamy, it doesn’t matter if he’s identifying as bi, gay, or straight. He’s having sex with people who aren’t her against that commitment and needs to be shown the door!
drsmithnj
Dump him and run far away.
tghost54
What a disposable world we live in.
It is far easier to throw something out and get a new one than fix the one you have.
People are not toasters. You have not confronted him with anything yet.
Talk to him, try to see if he values the relationship as much as you do.
If you love him give him a few chances to change. Then make a decision.
Love is patience and love is forgiving.
Having an honest gentle open discussion about his needs could tell you what you might need to give him that you weren’t before.
4of14
tghost54: Right you are, people are not toasters. But neither are we, able to fix people. At best he’s immature, only he can fix that. At worse he’s an opportunist and again, only he can fix that. Far to many women and men go into a relationship thinking they can help, or fix the other person. WRONG! Would you say the same thing to a women whos boyfriend hits her, or has hit other women? Like the Tango, it take two to love. She needs to tell that guy, to hit the road.