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A tweet highlighting the reality of life for most couples, in contrast to the “Insta-cute” version promoted by some influencers, has gone viral.
The tweet comes from Tyler Hightower (@TheBigDog77).
I’m tired of seeing this corny ass couple on my TL pic.twitter.com/ResEUGLCVF
— TY (@TheBigDog77) May 17, 2020
The caption says, “I’m tired of seeing this corny ass couple on my TL” and is accompanied by a video of Tyler and boyfriend Ahdeem in bed together.
Tyler proceeds to question a well-known YouTube couple and contrasts their relationship with his own.
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“They were together for like two seconds of some shit and didn’t even ask all the right questions, crying on camera. You know what real couples do?” he asks.
He then pulls the camera back to reveal him and his boyfriend. Tyler is in his underwear and has a games console resting on his belly and his boyfriend, tucked under a blanket, is watching something on his laptop.
“They have their fucking tits out … their fat guts, I’m playing Xbox and he’s on the computer. That’s what couples do.
“And you know what we do?” he continued. “We talk and then we go through these like lulls where we’re having a conversation for like 15 or 20 minutes, and then I’m so focussed on the game, or he’s so focussed on what he’s watching on TV or the computer, we like, you know, stop talking for a little bit. Just cos we’re so wrapped up in what we’re doing.
“This is what fucking couples do. This is what we look like … This pre-packaged bullshit is horrible, and it has people out here with these wild ideas or misconceptions about what relationships need to look like, and it’s not OK.
“People are having a hard enough time as it is, trying to find love and shit,” he concludes.
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The YouTuber that prompted the rant was Malcolm ‘MJ’ Harris. The financial advisor, motivational speaker and influencer has 172,000 subscribers of his YouTube channel.
He recently started dating a new boyfriend, Corey, and the two have been in quarantine together in Los Angeles. However, last week, on a filmed video call with a friend, Corey revealed in front of MJ that he doesn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship.
MJ and Corey subsequently filmed themselves having a heated discussion about monogamy vs. open relationships. Then, on the weekend, MJ posted a video of Corey packing up his stuff and moving out.
The videos have had tens of thousands of views and prompted much comment on social media. Although he didn’t name them, Tyler confirmed to Queerty this was the couple he was talking about.
“I was bombarded and inundated with their videos and honestly, I had enough because you could feel how much of a farce it was.”
Many on Twitter found Tyler’s honest take on relationships very relatable.
Yes. My partner is doing his homework. I’m reading a book and textingmy friends. The room is silent. We’re in love.
— Troublemaker (@PresidentPat) May 17, 2020
Yes!! My wife was in her art & crafts cave all day, I binged Law & Order SVU. We ate lunch, went back to our things then cooked dinner together, enjoyed each other. Real life.
— Michelle King-Hart (@AMichelleKing1) May 17, 2020
A handful of people said Tyler should concern himself with his relationship only and not judge others.
Hell u do u and let them b them. So what. Let them put their business out if they want to. But y disrespect them. Just say I hope they find love damn. U gotta shame them like
— TK (@tonyNC919) May 17, 2020
Tyler told Queerty he was not expecting his Tweet to go viral. At the time of writing, it’s had over 33k likes and 7k re-tweets.
“I think it resonated with many people because as consumers of media, we are tired of being spoon-fed bullshit.
“People know when others are being authentic, and I think that’s why people enjoyed my video. They recognized that my partner and I are regular everyday people living our regular imperfect lives.
“I don’t care that I have a double chin, or back rolls because that is real. Not that being fat is synonymous with real but being fat is a part of my truth. People who have been following me or new followers that review my content can see tell that my partner and are, if nothing else, honest and genuine. The love we have for each other is real and people can feel that through the screen.”
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Tyler and Ahdeem, who live in Philadelphia, went viral last October with a photo of themselves kissing.
“Posting this because representation matters,” the accompanying caption said. “The black, gay, and happy gworls are out here! We live together and have two cats. This was our 1 year anniversary. We are at the 1 year and 8month mark and still going strong!”
Posting this because representation matters. The black, gay, and happy gworls are out here! We live together and have two cats. This was our 1 year anniversary. We are at the 1 year and 8month mark and still going strong! pic.twitter.com/MZiIfzl5e1
— TY (@TheBigDog77) October 1, 2019
Ahdeem works in construction and Tyler is a clinical researcher. He’s currently particularly busy as he’s involved with clinical research and trials for COVID-19.
Meanwhile, MJ Harris has taken to YouTube to share that he’s getting on with life since splitting with Corey, and that reflecting on the many things he’s grateful for is helping deal with the pain of the split. He also asked people not to leave “borderline toxic” and “mean-spirited” comments toward his Corey (which may partly explain why comments on those videos have now been disabled).
Harris also says he’s learned lessons from his relationship with Corey and will be sure to ask future potential partners their views on monogamy sooner.
Kangol2
First, congrats to the bear couple. They seem like they have a real, loving, complex relationship, and I hope it lasts as long as they want it to. I’d suggest not putting so much on social media, but that’s just me.
As to MJ and Corey/Zario, just keep in mind that MJ has a “brand” on YouTube, so he needs viewers and clicks, and he presents himself as pretty traditional and conventional. Corey/Zario already had a career as a porn actor. So that coupling was bound to produce sparks. It’s like a reality show/dramedy, but a lot of people really took it seriously, so what can you say?
evanxx
The writer, David Hudson must be new to gay culture. These guys aren’t “bears”. Gay BEARS get their designation because of the extraordinary amount of man-hair on their bodies. They are not necessarily obese either. Ahdeem and Tyler are nice, big, beautiful men, and would be considered “chubs” because they’re smooth and have a few extra pounds of fat. Bears are brawny and VERY hairy. I like both kinds of men, but I am sexually attracted to the abundance of thick body fur on BEARS!
Kangol2
Uh, your definition of “bears” is not everyone elses, and Ahdeem and Tyler could be designated chubs, bear and big, beautiful men at the same time. You like super-hairy bears, and that’s fine. But please, your understanding of the term isn’t everyone else’s. Just look at Bear World Magazine (Google it) and, an international online magazine. Every week it features bears that run the gamut from super-hairy men to guys who look like both members of this couple.
evanxx
Kangol2 _ WRONG. Those of us who have been around since Stonewall call them “BEARS” because of their FUR. As usual, you think you’re an expert on everything gay. Stop trying to force your flawed personal opinions on everyone else. I don’t follow ‘Bear World’ magazine anymore because it is trying to change the definition of “bears” to include bear chasers and chubs. Younger generations also want to change the standard Rainbow Flag from the one we proudly carried in the early days of gay rights protests. Learn to accept your gay heritage.
Kangol2
@EvanXX, sorry, but your definition is not the only one. You may decide you don’t like it when bears in the US and across the globe have broader definitions of the term than you do, but no one is subject to your orthodoxy. Have you ever even been to a World Bear weekend? You know, the big one that happens annually in Chicago? Get back to me when you have.
Tombear
I just want these couples to be happy!