Putting yourself out there to date is already tough enough let alone having to deal with the possibility of rejection. What’s worse is when you start seeing someone regularly and then they just vanish out of nowhere.
Ghosting is unfortunately a reality and though we can’t avoid when it happens, we can manage how we deal with it. On the flip side, for those who feel tempted to simply disappear when things run stale? It might create more unnecessary internal issues than is worth the fleeting moment of relief from avoiding a difficult conversation.
Check out my latest video where I talk about being ghosted, temptations to ghost, and the extra rainbow-colored layer that makes things a little more challenging for us gays.
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Aires the Ram
Even though getting “ghosted” can be painful, I’ve always thought there was an ‘up’ side to it.
If someone does this to you, consider what you have just learned about them…..
1. They have no sense of decency, in that they’re too chickenshit to just tell you that they don’t want to see you anymore.
2. They are a weak individual (see #1 above)
3. If this happens not long into the relationship, they let you know very quickly what they are about, and thereby saved you a great deal of time and heartache to learn #1 & #2 above.
4. As the famous poet Maya Angelou wrote: “When someone ‘shows’ you, ‘shows’ you, who they are, believe them”
Ghosting someone you’ve been dating is a very shitty thing to do, but it’s much better to happen when you’re just beginning to date, than after you’ve set up housekeeping and have shared financial obligations like house payments and the like. It ain’t pretty, but if someone does this to you after a short time of seeing one-another, consider yourself lucky.
Wicked Dickie
This happened between my ex boyfriend and I. We broke up on good terms ( I was moving back to America from Germany). We chatted and texted for a few days, then it became a few weeks, then I didn’t hear from him in a few months. Seems I would be the one to always initiate contact (again, we broke up on good terms). After a while I figured that clearly he doesn’t want to be friends anymore and even though I still have feelings for him, it seems I was wasting my time. Finally just deleted his number. Not like you can memorize an international number easily.
Morrisson
Ghosting is an inherent sign or cowardice in a naturally weak person.
xiphoid76
Ghosting is the correct thing to do, this drives me crazy. Only egotistical people will break up face to face. Ghosting is more polite and considerate for the other person. Otherwise you are just driving your ego by making the other person feel small and perpetuating the myth that closure is a worthwhile thing – it is not. Stop circulating the myth that ghosting is a bad thing.
phillycap
Let me guess. You ghost a lot of people, don’t you?