Body talk

Gay men, please stop using the term “BBC,” It’s racist, blogger says

“Size generally matters in the gay meat market,” author Jeremy Helligar writes in a new op-ed at Honey9, “regardless of racial considerations, but the curiosity and expectations so often attached to dark meat raises the ick factor to a level of grotesque.”

Related: Is It True What They Say About Black Men?

Helligar is the author of the humorous travelogue Is It True What They Say About Black Men?, which examines how gay black men are viewed, and often objectified, in countries all around the world.

“Lately, though, I’ve noticed a shift, especially on Grindr,” Helligar writes. “Guys rarely ask me if it’s true what they say about black men anymore. That’s so 2011. Now they often send me messages that say, simply, ‘BBC’, or occasionally, ‘BBC?’–and not because they’re confusing me with the British broadcaster.”

BBC, for those of you know may not know, is internet shorthand for big black c*ck. And, in Helligar’s opinion, it’s kinda racist. Here’s why:

“It’s basically saying that as a black man, that is my primary value,” he says.

“I haven’t figured out if the gay white men who use it do so because it’s easier to write,” he continues, “or if it’s just too embarrassing to spell out ‘big black blank.’ Whatever the reason, the implication is the same: I’m no longer a three-dimensional person. I am my big black blank.”

Related: The “Black Men Are Bigger” Myth Just Got Debunked

As a result of constantly being asked about his BBC, which Helligar says has quickly become “the new bane of my gay existence,” it’s opened his eyes to another problem in our society: the crap women have to put up with when it comes to being objectified.

“Would you want your sister to get involved with a guy who refers to her as ‘BB’ for ‘big breasts’?” he asks. “The sad thing is, most women probably hear far worse on a regular basis. I sympathize. I empathize. I know how it feels.”

“I’m certain that I haven’t seen the last of ‘BBC,’” Helligar adds, adding that he’s sure “my protestations [over the term] will likely be met with shrugs.”

“In a world where a rich white man can be caught on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women and still be elected leader of the free world, no one’s going to get too worked up over a little ‘BBC’…except for the men it objectifies.”

“And ladies,” he concludes, “we feel your pain.”

Related: A Black Man Answers: “Are Black Men Really Bigger?”

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50 Comments

  • Large Marge

    Okay… well, if you are using Grindr, which is a hookup app, all they care about is your body and if you are really a ‘big’ boy. That’s not racist. That’s the Grindr culture… it’s hooking up, not dating. Don’t claim racism where there is none. People want to get f**ked and they want a big c**k to do it.

    That’s like claiming ‘R U Top/Bottom’ is sexist…. you are both gay. Having certain priorities in what you want or are looking for is not a bad thing… it’s straightforward.

  • Large Marge

    Okay… well, if you are using Grindr, which is a hookup app, all they care about is your body and if you are really a ‘big’ boy. That’s not racist. That’s the Grindr culture… it’s hooking up, not dating. Don’t claim racism where there is none. People want to get sexytime and they want a big thing to do it.

    That’s like claiming ‘R U Top/Bottom’ is sexist…. you are both gay. Having certain priorities in what you want or are looking for is not a bad thing… it’s straightforward.

  • Heywood Jablowme

    Yes and it is very unfair to the half-dozen or so black men who have small c0cks.

  • Rolias81

    I have issues with being referred to as Chocolate. I always let that person know that I find it offensive.

  • Xzamilloh

    Okay, my apologies, Queerty… but still, you can’t write the word [email protected] in the comment section?

    Anyway, like I joked, it’s only r-atsign-cist if you don’t have one ell oh ell

  • Jack Meoff

    LOL @Xzamilloh: to be honest I have never used the term but also I have found it to not always be a true stereotype.

  • HalcyonDays

    What else would one expect on Grindr? It’s entirely about objectification.

  • Creamsicle

    I think I see the term BBC mostly on straight porn sites. I don’t think I’ve actually encountered it on any of my dating and hookup apps.

  • MaxTaste

    I’m old – not only am I using a desktop to see this website but also I didn’t know BBC was anything other than a TV news channel.

  • Bromancer7

    If he’s looking for a meaningful long lasting relationship on Grindr he has bigger problems than his BBC.

    Objectification is Grindr’s middle name. And y’know what, white guys with big c*ck’s have the same problem. Guys only want to sleep with me because they know I have a big c*ck. And y’know what, I’m ok with that, because I’m not expecting anything more. I get to pound some hole, they get completely filled, and everyone goes home happy.

  • Tackle

    First thing first. That model in that pic has a GREAT body! But LOL… I had never heard the term in reference to Black male genitalia, and like some, I was thinking the BBC News Channel. But then again, I’m not on Grinder. But in all seriousness, I don’t think those Black guys who are into White guys mind that term, or even mind being objectified. As long as White men are picking them, I don’t think they give a damn!

  • SonOfKings

    I, generally, detest racial stereotypes. But this particular one is rooted in truth. I know this from experience and observation. Black men be packin’, if you’re into that sort of thing.

  • ChrisK

    I’m confused. Am I suppose to be upset about this news? I just don’t want to lose my good PC status.

  • Xzamilloh

    @Jack Meoff: It’s not… you’re more likely to find the BBCs in porn, and even then there are BWC, BLC, and BAC.. but the big asian ones are like normal size to everyone else. I joke… I actually had an asian guy who was well endowed, and he actually told me that he was a rarity.

  • TimberWolf

    Did he notify BBC British Broadcasting Corporation that BBC in his small world he feels is racist? BBC with the BOW down with the BCW run with WWC and WWF .. and the FIG..
    ridiculous

  • matthew_dibble

    @Heywood Jablowme: it is wrong to put that yes “black men” are bigger when it is actually a myth. They do not have bigger members because they are “black” it’s through genetics. testosterone and hormone levels play a big part in the development of the genetalia through that wonderful period of your life called pubity. Do some research guys…

  • Billy Budd

    Asians tend to be smaller, Whites tend to be medium, and black guys tend to be bigger. Accept that. Live with that. It is mother nature. A great dane is bigger than a chihuahua.

  • Realitycheck

    My first 3black boy friends were one more ridiculously larger then the other, while it is true some blacks are small and some are normal, many blacks have a large penis, same as north europeans and some Arabians and southern Italians do, it is not racist it the way they are built.
    What is next? Should we put blinds on our eyes and deny that blacks have amazing bubble butts?
    This is not about race it is about reality, for a black to complain about it is like for a good looking guy to complain when people look at him everywhere he goes, it comes with the territory.

    Perhaps we could all suggest author Jeremy Helligar to stay away from Grinder “a sex application” if he doesn’t like
    people sending him messages full of sexual references.

  • Realitycheck

    My first 3black boy friends were one more ridiculously larger then the other, while it is true some blacks are small and some are normal, many blacks have a large penis, same as north europeans and some Arabians and southern Italians do, it is not ra-cist it the way they are built.
    What is next? Should we put blinds on our eyes and deny that blacks have amazing bubble butts?
    This is not about race it is about reality, for a black to complain about it is like for a good looking guy to complain when people look at him everywhere he goes, it comes with the territory.
    Perhaps we could all suggest author Jeremy Helligar to stay away from Grinder “a sex application” if he doesn’t like
    people sending him messages full of sexual references.

  • matthew_dibble

    Let’s just blow this theory out the window then…… I am a vwe white male and have been bigger than any black male I’ve had an experience with, granted there has only been a couple…… But what I learned from this is it’s not always true, but then what should it matter who’s bigger than who…..oh and as for people putting “bbc” on profiles or in messages to guys I’ve only seen one or two that are looking for “bbc” where as I’ve seen loads of profiles of “black men” and they have the term “bbc” as a profile name.

  • BriBri

    Racist? What isn’t racist these days? It’s become virtually meaningless.

  • Realitycheck

    @matthew_dibble: Great answer Matthew, there is also the other side of the coin,
    many black guys use their “BBC” as a pick up item, and they are NOT tired to be objectified LOL the opposite, just visit my gym
    and oh boys……

  • Tackle

    @matthew_dibble: Lol.. So your one thread/post just blew the whole notion, about Black men being bigger out the window?? Some White men kill me with their insecurity about this issue by twisting things around. Of course not ALL Black men are gonna be big, and not ALL Whites or others are gonna be small. But on average Blacks men ARE bigger. Just like on average, well maybe above, Blacks tend to age better. But yes you will find a few Whites who will age well also…

  • Chris

    Never heard of BBC, other than British Broadcastin Company, until now. Anyways, I agree that it’s nicer to just say you want something in the XL and above range. No need for more than that.

  • Kangol

    @Creamsicle: It’s all over the nets. Just go to Tumblr and type in #BBC. I assure you, more than the British broadcaster is going to come up. It is offensive, though, since it’s objectifying human beings and reducing them to an appendage. Another offensive and tiresome thing is seeing Black, dark skinned Latinx, and Asian/Asian Am guys praised for their bodies but having their faces dismissed because they don’t have European features. That’s some BS. My exp in locker rooms all over the US lo these many years is that US white dudes are def smaller, with micropenii not uncommon. European white guys, not so much.

  • asa1973

    People are kind of missing the point here. It’s not such a big deal to me, but I can relate. I do have a BBC, but I also have nice lips, sexy pecs, thick legs, and a great ass. Many guys – whatever race – I’ve hooked up with have seem to only want my BBC. Try as I might to get them to kiss me, look me in the eye, rub my chest, pinch my nipple, fuck my ass, or just caress, many are perfectly fine keeping only their mouths on just my BBC. If I could detach it and just give it to them, I would. This can suck – pun intended – when you are more of a bottom. This guy just seems to be saying that he is more than his BBC.

  • ShowMeGuy

    So BBC doesn’t mean Big Beautiful C0ck ? Yikes, I’ve been advertising myself on meating sites and using the wrong label.

  • charlie_jackpot

    If the owner of the BBC has used it in their profile, then you should be able to use it in your dealings with them.

    Doesn’t this all just stem from dating adds in the paper, where you would pay by word? GSOH, BBC, BBW, GBM, VWE, WLTM etc etc

    It’s advertising and you want to let people know in a short amount of time what is on offer.

  • Jack Meoff

    I am laughing at all the guys on here who are insisting that the stereotype is true purely because it fuels either their egos or their fantasies. Of all the black guys I have been with only one was huge, one was kind of big and one was quite small but the others were perfectly average. I’m talking about maybe 12 guys in total.

  • truckproductions

    it “devalues” you?? wtf it’s grindr.. it’s a site people visit to have sex.. if you’re worried about guys objectifying you then stick to facebook and twitter for your social media presence..

  • sailorchicago

    Nope. Wrong. Not racist. Ridiculous. Find a real issue to be upset about.

  • sailorchicago

    @asa1973: If so, then there was no reason for him to have used the word “racist!”

  • Godabed

    @matthew_dibble: thanks for whiteplaining it to those other people who won’t take into arthor’s account or experience of the minority or objectified person experiencing the problem.

    The reality whether you choose to accept it or not, regardless of how many black guys you may have been with, which is less is a few Your own words), or how many profiles you see with BBC in the profile. The issue is that the mythology which goes back to slavery, and the objectification of African Americans in general, is so ingrained in our society, that the expectation to be oversexed, and objectified is OKay. Do some black men feed into this myth, in order to get sex or find love, yes. But i personally over several decades have experienced this and had my worth measured by what’s between my legs. It’s not okay by any means. Whether those who take advantage of it realize or not.

    Particularly black men in the gay community are not just stigmatized with having large penises aka Being Mandingo lovers, sexed out thugs, or or badboys, but not worth being in relationships with, having friendships with, or being disease carrier. “BBC” makes black men as disposable as tissue. and yes it is [email protected]

    Regardless of how big you are, this issue isn’t about you, and don’t try to make it about you. Or how you feel about it, but it’s not your issue.

  • Neonegro

    Again, keep screaming racism at every little thing and people will stop listening.

    I am going to start using the term BBC from now on just to piss the whiners off.

  • surreal33

    The hypocrisy within the gay community is EPIC! Gay white men are still white men, therefore, no surprise that gay men are racist and hold racist stereotypes of black men.

  • jasentylar

    @Neonegro: who’s screaming? Seems to me that you have an issue listening. As a Black man, I completely understand what the author is trying to say. I remember when I started dating guys in my 20’s and this label would be thrown out there. It’s deeply frustrating. It’s as if it’s a fetish. Very off-putting.

  • Opine2

    When Malcolm X was interviewed once, he was asked about this particular matter, he is reported as saying ” there are some stereo types I can live with”

  • Realitycheck

    @asa1973: Well insecure you are not LOL And that is a good thing, that said yes we get it,
    the guy resent to be seen only as, but he is talking mostly or only about a sex application NOT a party at his friends home, on a sex application like Grindr it is all about sex and that is what make his point ridiculous.
    If he wants to be seen as a person he needs to be in the real world not in places where he is seen as a sex object,
    when I used to go to bars I has his same problem in a different way, I was super good looking people and flocked to me, i was not fun to seat at a table or go to a party and everyone immediately wants to talk to you, it becomes harassment especially when some people don’t get a polite or the eventual nasty no.
    Should I complain about my look? “Oh poor me”, NO, and neither should he, he has a plan and he is not identified by it no matter
    what he says…. as they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

  • Realitycheck

    Queerty Where is the edit????? This is 2017

    @asa1973: Well insecure you are not LOL And that is a good thing, that said yes we get it,
    the guy resent to be seen only as, but he is talking mostly or only about a sex application NOT a party at his friends home, on a sex application like Grindr it is all about sex and that is what make his point ridiculous.
    If he wants to be seen as a person he needs to be in the real world not in places where he is seen as a sex object,
    when I used to go to bars I has his same problem in a different way, I was super good looking and people flocked to me, i was not fun to seat at a table or go to a party and everyone immediately wants to talk to you, it becomes harassment especially when some people don’t get a polite or the eventual nasty no.
    Should I complain about my look? “Oh poor me”, NO, and neither should he, he has a plus, and he is not identified by it, no matter
    what he says…. as they say, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?.

  • jenbird

    “not because they’re confusing me with the British broadcaster.”

    Chortle!

  • ChaseAdam

    So as per usual we get to sit here and listen to how terrible we are as white gay men followed by … “It really offends me when people say things like that to me” by the same black people who are saying every racist, stereotypical thing about whitey in the same damn breath.

    Races have never been as divided as they are now and it’s because of these petty arguments. BOOHOO whitey said I have a BBC! WELL WHAT EFFING COLOR IS IT THEN? I mean, are you mad that someone called your dong big, black or cock? WHICH ONE!?

  • Gates

    Black men use it in their profiles all the time. So clean your houses first BBCs.

  • elderan

    Okay fair, Ive only used it because im really attracted to black men I lovw there triats but if it come as sexulised then I wont.

  • Neonegro

    @jasentylar: I have never heard black guys use that term towards each other.

    If you seek white love and you face that term, you are the only one responsible.

    Just respond in the same manner and start using the term BWC.

  • jdboston617

    Really queens? Gimme a break!

  • John

    Do people have not more important things to overthink and decide to be offended about?Is everybody offended over EVERYTHING anymore? geesh

  • wolfmagic

    One related aspect is the appalling discrimination against older gay people. One of my good friends is an older guy who is on a few websites and he said he never ceases to be amazed at the some of the disgusting comments that he receives. If he only leaves some sort of track for someone much younger, even if it wasn’t intentional and even if he doesn’t actually come on to the guy, he said he is sometimes made to feel as though he is less than human. To make it worse, complaining about the abuse doesn’t necessarily get the offender removed, probably because there is so much competition between all the apps and they want the business. I guess this is certainly the case where the offender is young and hot and considered to be a drawcard to the app.

  • poe33eop

    This is why I can’t stand most of the gay male community. Inconsistent and lacking in integrity as always. I like the the thinly veiled slut-shaming (isn’t that popular the neologism) at play in the comments above – likely from the same dudes who would be up and arms if the issue was say… barebacking and there was a group of people going on about how you really shouldn’t demand conscientious behavior on the hookup scene. It’s no different here.

    Gay guys love to compartmentalize. Just because it’s a hookup, doesn’t mean anything goes. That applies to behavior and personality traits. Stop making shit worse for everyone by trying to pretend that there is this huge gulf between hooking up and meaningful relationships. Furthermore, stop defending the indefensible. Disrespect is not a sexual preference. It’s that too PC, don’t cry when someone says marriage is between one man and one woman. It would truly shock me when gay guys gained to courage to admit how much of their desires are based on pornography rather than real experience.

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